As a professional dildo & vibrator reviewer, I own over $22,000 worth of sex toys! So which are my *favorite* sex toys: the ones I use for fun masturbation, vs. obligatory work masturbation? All my sex toy reviews focus on the feeling I get from each product: the little details that make an experience either sensual…or disappointing.
These are the ones, the body-safe sex toys that work best with my anatomy. My enthusiasm for them knows no bounds!!! (So you can bet I’ll be using a lot of exclamation points in this post! 😊)
Every human being has slightly different preferences. *Never* believe posts titled “The Best Sex Toys Every Woman Should Own!”—that’s pure click-bait. (Nothing works for *every* person with a clit & vagina; we’re not monochrome.) Here in my favorite sex toy post, I explain exactly why I think each toy is awesome. In contrast, my list of the best sex toys by category is based on diverse opinions, and describes how different toy types stimulate differently.
My Favorite Sex Toys
As a phallophile, silicone dildos are my bread & butter, my favorite sex toys overall. I focus on silicone because it’s the only body-safe material that can feel soft, more like skin. Dual-density dildos are especially realistic, so most of my faves (especially for vaginal play) are two layers of silicone! Also see my favorite *self-propelled* dildo below, and my anal dildo faves here.
BMS Naked Addiction Dual Density Dildo (shop here): I knew the BMS Naked Addiction Dual Density was a winner the first time I touched it. The balance of soft outside and firm core are the most lifelike I’ve felt in a silicone dildo (see review for an in-motion video), and—marvelously!—the finish isn’t uber-sticky like so many other duals. I want this thing in my vag just thinking about it. (I do wish it came in other colors and sizes, though!) At $60, its quality is as good (or better!) than many duals twice its price. Full review here.
VixSkin Mustang (shop here): The VixSkin Mustang is a legend for a reason. It’s part of the super-popular, dual-density VixSkin lineup by Vixen Creations. Mustang’s shape is perfect for squishy, comfortable G-spot/P-spot stimulation. Thrust as hard as you want, and it’ll always feel great. I even had to write a guide to best G-spot dildos because of Mustang! Truly, I need a servant to thrust this dildo for me, because the pummeling is delicious and I want it to go on for longer! The Tie-Bright coloration, pictured above, photographs so well.
Blush Neo Elite 7″ (shop Neo Elite here): These dual-density silicone dildos are delightfully realistic, in bright colors—and they’re affordable too! The soft outer layer on the Neo Elite 7 Inch is soft and silky and so clenchable: it’s the thickest of the collection, and thus my favorite. The firm core keeps Neo Elite 7’s backward-curving head pressed against my G-spot so I can feel the frenulum line rubbing. Comparison of all 4 Neo Elite shapes here.
(Psst: If you want a less-realistic look but a comfortable feel, I also recommend Blush’s nonphallic duals, the Real Nude line, especially Ergo Mini.)
NS Colours Dual Density dildos (shop here): I’ve converted to using the Colours Dual Density 8 Inch Dildo as my go-to, my standby, after having a long affair with the ColourSoft dildos (5 inch and 8 inch). The squashier head, over that erect core and big ridge, does it for me every time without fail. I don’t recommend these as often as Neo Elite because the seams around the balls and the suction cup base look ragged on mine. But the larger head…mmm. The vein texture is more pronounced in Colours Dual Density than Neo Elite: it’s draggier, so consider how much texture you like if you’re trying to pick between the two.
Mr. Hankey’s Toys Topher Michels (shop here): I’m leading into the next category with this one: Topher Michels is the most awesomest when it vibrates! This lifecast dildo has all the realistic details, in squishy-soft & flexible silicone. I get off hardest (so hard) when I stick my strongest bullet vibe into Topher Michels’ Vac hole, to create a powerful vibrating dildo with a soft, tugging head. The balls vibrate too with Sensuelle Point Plus inserted—and you have to see the scrotum texture on this toy! Full review here.
RealCock2 Dirk (shop here; not pictured above yet): OMG it’s the king of realistic dildos! I’ve wanted one of these bad boys for YEARS, since I first discovered they existed and got drawn in by the moving skin product demo. Spoiler: the skin on the shaft doesn’t move easily, but damn right, the balls sure do! Scrotum demo here. This dildo feels more like a human erection than any other silicone product I’ve ever encountered. If you also are a true phallophile, and you can really *feel* different textures internally (i.e., you don’t think all dildos are pretty similar), then the $499 price tag for any of the three RealCock2 models will be worth it.
Vibrators & Pulsators
OhMiBod Esca 2 app-controlled vibe (shop here): I like Esca 2 for two reasons: it’s super fun to wear while I’m working (it syncs to music!), and I’m in a long-distance relationship, so the app-control option—having my FWB make me come from far away and sometimes in person—has been amazing. I think OhMiBod Esca 2 is rumblier than its closest competitor, Lovense Lush 2, plus Esca’s tail curves much more easily. Full review here.
Magic Wand Plus & Rechargeable (shop here): I got the new Magic Wand Plus and immediately became a wand vibe convert. Basically, the Magic Wand Plus is the (Hitachi) Magic Wand Original but with a body-safe, non-staining silicone head and two extra speeds (which I absolutely need!). The deep vibes travel everywhere throughout my pelvic floor, and it’s so good. Speed #3 makes me orgasm in under 30 seconds, then I have to back down to level 2! Then…rinse and repeat. The MW Plus’ only downside is its cord: check out the Magic Wand Rechargeable instead for untethered play. I spent a week of my life writing a guide to wand vibrators, these new Magic Wands are so good. Full Magic Wand Plus review here.
BMS Pillow Talk Sassy (shop here): I’m basically an evangelist for the Pillow Talk Sassy, which is 100% my favorite G-spot vibrator. (See my full ranking of kick-ass G-spot vibes here.) The perfectly curved head, the slightly flexible shaft, the silky silicone…and oh yeah, the rumbly vibrating power. Plus it’s pretty quiet. Full Sassy review here.
We-Vibe Melt (shop here; not yet pictured above): The best air pulsation toy for my body—I like it more than even the best Womanizer, and a helluva lot more than any Satisfyer. That’s because Melt’s silky, flexible silicone mouth fits best around my clit and even feels a bit suck-y on the middle settings. Melt also has long-distance capability! Full Melt review here.
Sola Cue (pictured) but replaced by Blush Wellness G Curve! (shop here): The Wellness G Curve deserves to be a classic vibrator, one with a name. It’s curved just enough to apply G-spot pressure, while also being beautiful clitorally. Especially because of the steady speed progression from (1) deep & rumbly to (2) powerful & slightly higher-pitched. Blush’s new Impressions suction cup dildos contain a similar pelvic-floor-shaking motor too! They’re so strong, my asshole tingles while they’re in my vagina. I’m a particular fan of the Impressions N1’s rippling ridges for thrusting, and the Impressions N5’s larger head for G-spot pressure. More thoughts on the Wellness G Curve here, and full Impressions review here.
BMS Essential Bullet (shop here): Want an easy-to-use (or beginner’s) bullet that doesn’t suck? IMO, BMS Factory’s Essential Bullet is the one. It’s pretty rumbly, especially on the first couple speeds; it’s waterproof and rechargeable; it’s silky smooth; and it’s $21. I can even stick it in a huge soft silicone dildo and feel the vibes strongly! Full review here.
NS Novelties Luxe Collection bullets (shop here): The Luxe Bullets are good for me because they’re strong, but not so intense like the We-Vibe Tango. (Whose pinpoint tip overstimulates this lover of wider stimulation.) Luxe Electra’s smooth outside and sloped tip make it my favorite. More on the Luxe Collection Bullets here.
Stronic Real & Stronic G (shop all Stronics here): The Fun Factory Stronics are pulsators, not vibrators: they jiggle in and out at super-speed. The Stronic Real, obviously, is the more phallic shape; while the Stronic G is for G-spot power. Both pulse, jiggle, and move at hundreds of beats per minute…all for the sensitive front wall of my vag. And they’re (almost totally) hands-free! See the motion in action in this video. Full Stronic Real review here, or full Stronic G review here.
The Sex Toy Combo I’ve Needed for YEARS
Lazy, Realistic, Hands-Free Penetration
I love realistic penetration, and this is the closest thing I’ve ever found to getting it from a partner—over 6 years of toy testing, and $20,000+ worth of sex toys in my current collection.1 This is hands-down the most realistic handheld thrusting dildo on the market.
Only two words in the English language can describe my feelings about toys #1 & #2 together: FUCK YEAH. #3 is a useful add-on to make Teddy + Holster (bundle here) rideable or hands-free:
- Velvet Thruster Mini Teddy: A portable fucking machine that goes up to 125 strokes per minute. Feels great by itself (review here)—but is a bit too firm to feel totally realistic. So I needed…
- A VixSkin soft silicone sheath (Holster or Colossus): Stick the mid-sized VixSkin sleeve on top of Teddy and…I’m coming all over, almost immediately. Holster is just over 2″ thick—so be ready for some real girth.2 It’s very much like lying back and being screwed by a big cock, with no work required on my part. I thought I felt like talking to Velvet Thruster Jackie—now I might start composing erotic poetry devoted to Teddy + Holster. (Once I come up with a sexier name for the two.3) This combo can be used alone for missionary-style sex, though you’ll have to hold Teddy’s base so it doesn’t leap out of your hole. Or, make it even easier:
- A T.O.M. v.2 Dildo Mount makes this setup totally hands-free. Put Teddy on top of T.O.M. (with or without a VixSkin sheath) and you don’t even have to move your hips while you’re being penetrated cowgirl-style. Or suction cup Teddy to one of TOM’s angled sides and hold the mount between your knees, to simulate missionary.
Together Velvet Mini Teddy plus the VixSkin Holster sheath come to $198.74:4 expensive, but easier to use and less costly than a full-sized fucking machine (which start at $400 for a model that won’t break) plus its adapters plus body-safe dildos.5
Holster will also fit onto the thinner Maia Max/Monroe thrusting dildo, if you’re for a vibrating PLUS thrusting toy. Max & Monroe only have 3 thrust speeds instead of 6…but I do like the vibes along with the thrust.
I’m alotta vagina, but sometimes I like it in my ass too… My favorite sex toys for anal are quite beginner-friendly, but many come in bigger sizes too: especially the Hankey’s Dildos!
SquarePegToys Egg Plug (shop here): Egg Plugs are über-squishy silicone: delightful to clench around. These soft, comfy toys are available in 6 sizes, so naturally I got the XS—but I might work my way up to the small soon! Egg Plugs are a little difficult to insert because of the softness—be warmed up first!—but once they’re in, they fit like a dream. Full review here.
Njoy Pure Plugs (shop here): Stainless steel butt plug perfection. The Pure Plug’s curved shape fits so well, and I was shocked at how comfortable the loop base is. I had no idea I’d enjoy having the Pure Plug’s weight in my butt, but then I started wearing mine out and about…and it both felt good in my ass and satisfied the exhibitionist in me. If you want a good steel plug, the Pure Plugs (available in 3 sizes, plus the larger Pure Plug 2.0) are the one true way. Full review here.
Oxballs Ergo squishy-soft plug (shop here): I’m having a really difficult time choosing between this one and the Egg Plugs, as they’re similar in many ways. I would go with this option if I had a prostate, because of the slightly curvy tip. The base is also a bit larger, to touch more nerve endings outside my hole.
b-Vibe Snug Plugs (shop here): The torpedo-shaped Snug Plugs hold weight inside! The weights kinda jiggle a little, and I like how phallic the oblong body is. Wearing these while exercising (would recommend mowing the lawn with them in!) is fun. The body is hard, but I think the thin neck is very comfortable for wearing for a few hours because lets my sphincters close up around the plug—I don’t feel so stretched. They’re gentle that way. Full review here.
My favorite anal dildos, quick list (smallest to largest):
- Blush Avant P3 because the silicone is silky but not so soft, so the tapered tip is easy to insert when I’m getting warmed up for more realistic (and bigger) things. Also has a great suction cup.
- Blush Neo Elite 7.5 Inch: Dual-density with a longer length for its girth, so it’s easier to ride. This toy has a very slick feel, which is nice. The suction cup is pretty good.
- Mr. Hankey’s Toys Anaconda (Xtra-Small version): My most comfortable fast-thrusting anal dildo yet! The ridge provides just a little texture, and the shaft is super-flexible so it bends with my rectum. So smooth, so gliding.
Maia Max (and Monroe): Sometimes you just want a sleek anal thruster, without the prep required for getting ready for larger “butt balls.” That’s what the Maia Max (black) and Monroe (purple) are, plus of course they’re good as textureless vaginal toys too. With a remote control, an adjustable suction cup, vibrating functions, and a not-too-shabby motor, Maia Max is the best anal-friendly self-propelled toy I’m aware of, and the price is pretty damn low too. The only issue? It’s loud, unfortunately. Full review here.
My Favorite Sex Aids
No favorite sex toys list would be complete without an ode to lube. Plus a dildo mount!
Lubes & More
LUBE—It’s so important. Necessary for anal play, it also makes vaginal sex, jerking off, and clitoral play (especially with toys) so much more comfortable.
Once I discovered Sliquid, I’ve stuck to their water-based lubes because they’re free of glycerin, propylene glycol, parabens, and other junk that can potentially irritate your junk. (Water-baseds also can’t harm silicone toys like silicone lube may.) I do also love, love, love Sutil and would recommend it if you’re looking for a very natural feel.
Sassy is Sliquid’s thicker water-based, marketed as for anal but better for anything else too because it doesn’t slip off my silicone toys right away. I also recommend: The silicone Uberlube for PIV sex and with condoms (thumbs up)—though I wouldn’t recommend it across the board with silicone toys. And: The Butters all-natural oil-based for butt stuff, like long-term plug wear and pegging, because the slickness is for real.
- Find Sliquid Sassy (thick water-based) here
- Find Uberlube (silicone lube) here
- Find The Butters (all-natural oil-based) here
Liberator Wing Sex Toy Mount (shop here): With so many dildos, I sometimes get bored of jerking it by hand, so the Liberator Wing is a happy change of pace. This sex toy mount (compared here) is the most comfortable way to simulate cowgirl-style riding because of its soft cover and dense foam. I’ve had mine for a year and a half, and it hasn’t compressed one bit! I recommend the Wing with the BMS Naked Addiction Dual together for realistic.
(On a side note, I also feel like I need the newer Liberator Pulse, because the rocking motion sounds fun as hell!)
* * *
- At least $20,247.84, current total based on current retail sales figures at competitive prices. It might be a bit more, though; it’s hard to keep track these days!
- But if you want it even bigger, then go for the VixSkin Colossus instead!
- “Tedster” is truly horrific, while “Holdy” sounds like an adjective for that one overly pushy dude you ran into at the club. Yeah, that guy who has a hard time taking “no” for an answer. Anyway, I digress…
- Discount applies at checkout.
- Since silicone dildos are pretty much never included with fucking machines.