As I was walking around a sex toy exposition last month, I started thinking about tastes. So many different desires, so many different needs—and so many different toys as a result. And so many vibes appeal to different tastes depending on one factor: broad vs. pinpoint clitoral stimulation.
We’re just NOT ALL THE SAME, and that’s why there are: rabbits and bullet vibes and Magic Wands and realistic dildos and striped dildos and G-spot vibes and Zumios and pressure wave toys and double dildos and Cowgirls and rimming plugs and penetrables, and on and on…
Phew! The amount of different toys out there can seem overwhelming if you’re a new sex toy buyer… But I prefer to look at all this variety as a damn good thing.
I’m always surprised when even people who work in the industry—like a few manufacturers’ reps I met at the sex toy show—seem confused when I say I don’t like air pulsation toys, or that rabbits are never quite right for my body, or that I don’t have a difficult time orgasming from penetration. All those—enjoying a Womanizer/Satisfyer, wanting an easy dual-stimulating toy, and finding it hard to come from PIV sex—are valid experiences, common experiences. But they’re not my experiences. And we each have to discover what works for us as individuals.
When I first started Phallophile Reviews, I didn’t review vibrators. That’s because my first vibe experiments had been huge failures, and I gave up on spending money on vibes after that. I didn’t understand that my issues were with (1) low-quality, buzzy vibes and (2) pinpoint stimulation. Eventually I started asking questions about why I liked what I liked, really figuring out what drove my preferences. And my vibrator guides were born.
Of course there are trends about the best, highest-regarded sex toys. But that’s still a huge range of toy categories. So when I talk to any clit-owner (or their partner) who’s looking to purchase a first vibrator, I try to point that person toward exploring their tastes. In particular, one crucial point: focused vs. broad stimulation. The clitoris is a whole complex—not just the head that you can see—and the pelvic flo
Essentially, how thick do you want your vibrator to be? Should it center right on the clit or cover a wider area? (And should it be insertable too?) Vibe options from most-focused to widest are:
- Zumio oscillating vibes
- We-Vibe Tango and small bullets; pressure wave clit pulsation toys
- Larger bullet vibes like the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet, Blush Exposed Nocturnal, and NS Luxe Collection
- We-Vibe Touch and other palm-style vibes
- G-spot vibes (for either mid-width external stim or G-spot stim)
- Mid–sized wands
- Full-size wands
That’s why I suggest that a new vibe buyer look at how they use their fingers when masturbating, or how they like their partner to touch or tongue their clit. Pulling out a mirror (or phone camera) may help, so you can really see where your clit is:
- Do you tend to put pressure right on the clit, even to the point of using a fingernail to create really dramatic pressure? Then you’re a pinpoint person.
- Do you like rubbing strokes all the way up and down the vulva, from the clitoral glans back to the vaginal opening? Then you’re likely to enjoy broad, wand-style stimulation.
- And if you like your clit to be tongued and sucked on, then a Womanizer or Satisfyer toy may be most exciting—these air pulsation/pressure wave/“PleasureAir” toys really pull orgasms out of the clitoris!
- Or maybe you like all different kinds of stim depending on your mood: then the whole range of vibrator possibilities is open to you!
Considering how you like to be touched is so important, because there’s no ONE BEST VIBRATOR for every body. And if, after thinking it through, someone really isn’t sure what they want, I recommend going middle of the road: a larger bullet, a great G-spot vibe, or a mid-sized wand. G-spot vibrators are extra versatile because they can be used externally or internally: clitorally or vaginally. (Seriously, if someone had told me to buy a Pillow Talk Sassy when I was a new vibe buyer, it would’ve saved me a couple hundred dollars worth of experiments—because I use that mid-sized vibe for everything. ????)
So… what makes your preferences unique? What do you like, and dislike? Talk to me about your sensation explorations in the comments below!
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