Earlier this year I took a trip to New Orleans, and my lover and I nearly fell into the Hustler Hollywood store on Bourbon Street. The shop felt luxe; it had an upscale, boutique-type atmosphere. It took us about 10 seconds to decide to skip the lingerie and bath & body sections downstairs and head straight up the escalator—for the sex toy department.
We looked around, surveying the LELO table front and center, with We-Vibe and Fun Factory right beside: premium, high-quality toys. After a while I started chatting with an employee about new toys like the Magic Wand Plus (which I’d been carrying around the city that weekend!) and the Maia self-thrusting dildos. This employee was knowledgeable and informed, so we talked about Bluetooth connectivity too, for long-distance & remote control vibrators like Lovense, We-Vibe, and my favorite OhMiBod Esca 2.
It was fitting, then, that soon afterward Hustler Hollywood reached out to me, asking if I’d like to review their remote panty vibe set. Six weeks later,1 this showed up in the mail…
The Hustler Lingerie Wireless Vibrating Thong Panties set includes a thong and a vibrating bullet that fits neatly into a slot inside the thong. I’ll break down what I liked and didn’t like about this set!
The Panties (3.5 out of 5 ⭐)
I took the panties out and surveyed them quickly; the lace was cute, sexy, with a silver charm (that I suspected might come off in the wash at some point). The body of the thong is a sheer black, somewhat see-through. Overall I’d rate the quality as close to a Victoria’s Secret thong, so not too bad but not amazing. But when I consider other panty vibes out there, and their “lace side-tie” style underwear, the Hustler thong is superior. It’s easier to put on and more comfortable to wear, because I’m not dealing with having to adjust a “one size” underwear to my form.
The Hustler Panty Set is available in two sizes (S/M and M/L), with three colors for each. I wear size 6 pants and the S/M fits me well, so I suspect that larger-bodied users will be out of luck if they’re looking to use this vibe inside the included underwear.
The vibe does fit easily inside the slot, and the pull-loop attached to the vibe lets you adjust it quickly once it’s inside the underwear.
The Vibrator (2 out of 5 ⭐)
At first test, the Hustler Lingerie Wireless Vibrating Thong Panties was stronger than I’d expected on its first of 3 steady speeds. (There are also 4 patterns, in case you like being toyed with.) But I had about 5 other toys to review-test first, so I set the Hustler bullet aside after literally a minute… Only to find the vibe dead when I tried to power it back on.
When I agreed to review this vibrator, it hadn’t really clicked for me how absolutely irritating battery-powered toys are once you’ve gone rechargeable. Especially when those toys require nonstandard battery types (anything that’s not AA or AAA). I didn’t think to remove the batteries right after use, because the vibe will keep draining them if they remain inside. In the case of the Hustler Lingerie Wireless Vibrating Thong Panties Set, the batteries are like mushrooms that have reached their sell-by date: you better cook ’em up soon, because they’ll be 100% inedible (or unusable) after 48 hours.
It turns out that the L1154F button batteries included with this set are alkaline—meaning that they “provide less capacity and less stable voltage than more costly silver oxide” alternatives. Now, I had some (much better quality) 357 batteries lying around to use in my shore durometer, but…nah, I just bought some cheap-o replacement L1154Fs off Amazon because I figured I wouldn’t be using this vibe much (or ever, really) after I was done testing it.
Rechargeable or bust, baby.
Once I got the Hustler vibe re-batteried and working again—after an issue where the bottom battery got stuck and I had to reposition it with tweezers, yikes—I remembered how buzzy it was. Again, the problem isn’t that it’s weak; I’d put it at a 6/10 on my bullet vibe power scale. (With 10/10 being the Blush Exposed Nocturnal bullet, which is the closest thing to the Hitachi Magic Wand in small-vibe form.)
But it’s so buzzy. The vibes don’t penetrate through flesh well. If you’re able to orgasm from surface-level clitoral stimulation with no problem, then this vibe may work for you. But I need deeper vibrations, wider vibrations that rock my pelvic floor.
It’s 2019, and I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask for somewhat rumbly vibes from a $65 item.
Back to my woeful battery narrative, once I went through two sets of button batteries for the vibe (one for each of my first two tests), then the remote controller starting acting funky. Changing modes would turn the toy off, and connectivity went out the window. I figured that the remote controller’s battery was dying after three tests, also due to the fact that the remote came with a cheap alkaline battery.
Basically, the Hustler Wireless Vibrating Panties turned out to be nothing more than frustration compared to all of the toys I’ve tested for my smart remote control vibe guide. For purely clitoral stimulation in remote form, I suggest checking out…
*Rechargeable* Remote Control Panty Vibes
- Screaming O My Secret Panty Vibe: $25 less than Hustler Vibe, fully rechargeable bullet, and pretty rumbly. I wish this vibe—the $16 Charged Vooom—had been my first bullet vibe, and it’s still one of the only bullets that I’ll give the time of day to. The remote control ring is…trying to be discreet. The quietest remote bullet here.
- Nu Sensuelle Remote Control Pleasure Panty: $4.01 more than Hustler vibe and super-frickin-strong. Also silicone-coated, yay!
- We-Vibe Moxie: App-controlled too, and you don’t have to worry about underwear fit because Moxie’s magnetic clip is so damn convenient. Moxie’s shape is perfect for grinding on. Surprisingly, it’s weaker than the Sensuelle vibe above, but quieter.
Panty vibes are a fun way to tease, which is why I’d like to see an important upgrade in the Hustler Lingerie Wireless Vibrating Thong Panties. It wasn’t fun for me to realize that I had to buy batteries (and keep changing them) with this vibe.
It’s not a weak vibe at all, and if it was rechargeable I could see it being a lot more enjoyable. (Especially for anyone who isn’t dead-set on rumbly vibrations.)
The thong that comes with this set is the best included panty in any remote control vibe set I know of. The see-through front is hot, and the pouch fits the vibrator nicely so it doesn’t shift to much. But the vibe…truly can’t compete with the Screaming O Rechargeable Panty set, which is rumblier, waterproof, and rechargeable, plus has more functions.
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