Got something to hide?! Discreet dildos, low volume vibrators, and secret sex toys are a necessity if you’re living with roommates or family.
A discreet vibrator can either be silent from the next room, or you can try to blend it into your living space. Easy-to-disguise options follow, including my Top 3 discreet vibrators with rumbly intensity. Last, I’ll cover how to hide sex toys you already own, with lockable storage options.
Contents
Remember, choosing a body-safe sex toy (that’s intended for genital or anal play!) is healthier & more sanitary versus using random household objects or fruits & vegetables. Nonporous sex toy materials like silicone, ABS plastic, and borosilicate glass won’t have random bacteria hanging on (like a toothbrush or hairbrush would). These hygienic toys won’t injure you, or get broken inside your body: All you gotta do is wash ’em with soap and water!
Easy-to-Hide – Best Discreet Vibrator Picks
My partner & I tested of dozens of vibrators, for how quiet they are (1) from the next room (behind two closed doors), and (2) from outside my bedroom door.1
- Pillow Talk Racy: Easiest to hide for volume and size; while holding a rumbly lil motor. Smooth silicone, semi-flexible. Fully adjustable vibration intensity. 30–34dB.
- Pillow Talk Sassy: The best quiet vibrator if you want G-spot stimulation. Stronger than Racy, above, due to a bigger motor. (See size difference, below.) Sassy can also be used clitorally instead of for G-spot, where it’s like a smaller wand vibrator with easy-grip handle. 29–30dB when inserted; 33 to 36dB for clitoral use.
- We-Vibe Nova: Rumbly dual-stimulation for the win. Amazing to thrust in and out, since Nova’s curling keeps clitoral contact. I love the softer silicone exterior. 31 to 34dB.
- Intense Travel Mini. Firm tip is for more precise clitoral pressure than Pillow Talk Racy. Its motor *kicks* like crazy for only $29.99. Rumbly on function #1, but makes a higher-pitched whirring noise on the strongest setting. 34–39dB.
Our discreet-vibrators test echoed my years of “How quiet is this?!” experiences: I choose these ⬆️ vibrators when I want a great clitoral and/or G-spot orgasm, but my kiddo’s in the next bedroom asleep. I find them powerful enough, yet quiet because their lower-frequency rumbly vibration blends in better with ambient noise—plus makes my body happier with how deep the vibes feel.
But what if you’re looking for a discreet vibrator for public wear? Esca with app control is the quietest vibrator for clitoral+vaginal stimulation outside the house. So silent, under 30 dB when inserted. Designed as a club vibe, Esca’s Ohmibod app works like a remote, or syncs to ambient noise like music playing. Its smoother shape helps this “love egg” vibrator stay inserted better than competitors, in my experience, and Esca’s tail gives better rumbly clit vibration.
Quiet Vibrators?
Even the same vibrator can run from “inaudible” to “hmm, what’s that noise?” as you turn up its intensity.
The majority of handheld vibrators reach a top volume of 50 decibels (dB) or less. My decibel scale, fun version 😃:
- Under 30 dB = “Can’t hear nothin’!”
- 30 to 35 dB = “Damn quiet.”
- 36 to 40 dB = “Quiet enough.”
- 41 to 49 dB = “Neither quiet nor loud, probably OK.”
- 50 to 55 dB = “My family might hear this next door…”
- 55 to 60 dB = “Definitely audible from a room over!”
- 65 to 75 dB = “Loud noises I make when home alone testing vibrators”😂
So, a toy that maxes out under 40 dB is quiet—definitely a discreet vibrator. Then, up to 50 decibels volume should be inaudible ❌👂from a room away, doors closed. The largest handheld vibrators reach 55 to 60 decibels volume for the most powerful, Doxy plug-in wands or Magic Wand Plus.
Other ways to hide the noise of a smaller vibrator:
- 🛏️Using it under a sheet and/or with a thin pillow over your lap; or
- 🔁Have the ceiling fan or AC running; and/or
- 📺💻🎶 Playing music, a TV, or any kind of media with consistent noise on your device.
🚿Running a water-resistant / waterproof toy as you shower is another strategy for discreet vibrator use.
One clarification: Decibel readings are IMO not an *exact* indicator of whether a vibrator will be heard from closeby. The human ear is more likely to distinguish unusual noises that aren’t a static droning hummmmm. Punctuated bursts of sound, creaks, and speedy air-pulse toys just sound louder to me, even when they’re only measuring 48 decibels. Which leads us to the Satisfyer’s puff-puff-puff pulsing noise:
Is the Satisfyer Pro 2 Discreet?
“How loud is the Satisfyer Pro 2?” is a common question, because it’s soooo popular among air pulse / “clit suction” toys. Millions of orgasms from 1 product, no doubt.
Satisfyers (and Womanizers, We-Vibe Melt, and Rose toys!) are all different than plain vibrators. They don’t just vibrate, they puff air pressure over the clitoris—which feels intense, but can get loud. High-speed bursts, like from the We-Vibe Melt’s upper-level functions, blend in with ambient noise less easily.
This holds true with the Pro 2 Next Gen. (and new Pro 2 Generation 3) by Satisfyer. Its air-pulsation is quiet on the first three functions (out of 11 total functions), but by functions # 9 through 11, the Pro 2 is audible if you’re standing outside a bedroom door.
My boyfriend says, “I probably wouldn’t think too much of it if I wasn’t listening for it, but I can hear something from the hallway [when you had the Pro 2 running on high].” So, it’s not super-loud, but… whether the Pro 2 is a discreet vibrator on high-power depends on whether your roommates/housemates are listening, and how close their space is to your bed.
Vibrators in Disguise: Hide in Plain Sight?
These sex toys remind me of the term’s original meaning: they’re playful. You might be able to leave ’em out in the open on a nightstand (as long as no one’s lookin’ for buttons to press!).
- Firefly🌙 Dream: Shelf-ornament, or incredibly strong clit stimulation? This one’s the only clitoral “suction” vibrator to make tears well up in my eyes, from its intensity. This moon vibrator is bangin’. Its air-pulse mouth is covered with a removable cap to complete the dreamy crescent-moon look. I’m sooo sensitive after using it. Do note: Discreet vibrator shape, but not quiet.
- Lucky Ducky! 🦆💛 OMG cute. The silicone ducky here has an opening to fit a removable mini-vibrator. Its black color & charging points make it more apparent (though you could cover the metal charging nodes with black electrical tape, if needed, when you’re not using the toy). I’ve carried this through TSA lines in a backpack multiple times, and it was not inspected. Ducky’s crown-points are for precision clit-targeting. The bullet vibrator is moderately powerful, and can be used separately outside the duck. Quack.
- 💄 Discreet lipstick vibrators you can cover with its cap & stick in a purse discreetly: Pillow Talk Lusty’s mini-tongue flutters, with fully adjustable speed control; Lovense Exomoon is a fairly-strong vibrator with app control. Both are strong and not-too-buzzy, plus rechargeable (unlike cheap lipstick vibrators).
- Le Wand necklace vibe: A slim, rose-gold vibrator (made of stainless steel) with a golden necklace chain included. Will anyone know what it is if you wear it out? Definitely an exhibitionist-friendly vibrator.
- ⚪|🔴Pokeball vibrator: I carried this openly through a busy hotel lobby on vacation, and no one batted an eye. It *so* looks like a toy-toy, not a sex toy. The Pokeball is wide like a wand vibrator, for broad clitoral stimulation. The white half is firm, while the red half has a soft layer under the silicone so it’s a gentler touch.
- 🌹Rose vibrator. If you’re not up on clit “suction” pulsing toys, then this 🌹 does not look sexual in passing. Now quieter than Satisfyer!
- Unihorn 🦄 vibrators, including including my favorite under-$40 sex toy ever. Surprising strong, adorable AF. Not quiet. The clit-tapping pink-Unihorn is least obviously a clitoral stimulator (since it doesn’t have an open “mouth”!).
- 💡Lava Lamp by phantasiatoys.com: An anal plug that looks like a lava-lamp. Stick it on a shelf, turn out the light: It glows in the dark, with colored swirls as the “lava” inside Near-Clear see-through silicone.
- 💮Uberrime Rosae. Clitoral grinder (non-vibrating). Small and hand-held. Great desk ornament. Interesting for rubbing off on the different textures (it’s got many soft-silicone petals).
Discreet Dildos
Non-vibrating dildos and buttplugs are the quietest sex toys to play with. They don’t make any extra noise, beyond low-volume sliding in and out. (Indeed, if you’re into a good dildo, you may end up the loudest part of the equation, trying to cover up faster breathing or moaning!)
Nonphallic a.k.a. non-realistic dildos (more examples here) don’t seek to replicating a human penis. They’re not veiny or disembodied-dick-like, which some folks prefer. They don’t scream “dildo” so much as an ultra-realistic dong. Nonphallic dildos / plugs may:
- be smooth rods, like the Tantus Silks;
- have a curved-for-max. impact design like the Njoy Pure Wand;
- have a minimal ridge for prostate like Strap-on-Me triple-layer dils; and more!
These dildos are discreet in terms of volume while you use them, but of course you’ll want to hide them if anyone’s going through your stuff. See toy storage ideas, next!
How to Hide Your Sex Toys: Discreet Storage
If you have nosy housemates who will violate your personal space, you’ll need a secure, locking solution to hide sex toys. Not-large toys (under 7 inches total length; like all the discreet vibrators above) are simplest to lock inside a bag or case.
This is my favorite hidden-sex-toy setup, suitable for holding a surprisingly large number of sex toys:
- Step 1. Find or buy a good backpack with two zipper tabs for the main compartment. (I can fit dozens of toys in a standard-size backpack!!! Luckily, body-safe toy materials are typically safe to store touching each other!)
- Step 2. Then, get a travel padlock, where you set your own code to open it. These run from $7 to $15 price, depending on the travel padlock; often called “TSA approved luggage lock.” I recommend a smaller, all-metal loop (shakle) for greatest security inside zippers. See the Anvil one I’m using here, $8 for a single lock and very sturdy.
- Step 3. Put your toys inside the backpack, and cover them clothes or any other belongings (just in case someone peeks through the ≈1″ zipper gap). Last, feed the padlock through both zippers, press in the shackle, and hide your combination. The backpack’s zipper will separate slightly, but not enough to fit a hand inside.
Or, a small-storage option for discreet vibrators: A “book safe” lockbox, where it has a lockable, metal space inside the book cover, will fit smaller sex toys. Many book safes have plastic instead of paper pages, so you have to display the book’s spine on a shelf between other books, otherwise folks can see the plastic-pages interior. But book safes with actual paper do exist: Review the reviews on, for example, this paper-page book safe, with book covers purporting to be The Bible (😈), Alice in Wonderland, Les Miserables, and more.
Other serious locking options for more storage space & discretion:
- A traditional safe. Read carefully for inner dimensions, to see what size products you’ll be able to fit within. Metal exteriors are more expensive, but very durable.
- Medicine lock boxes / first-aid boxes. A great disguise if you have younger kids. These should have a built-in padlock.
- Stacking lock boxes / “field boxes.” Look for interior dimensions too, and for ones that describe 3 locking points. For example, this cheap box at Walmart, where you could fit padlocks/luggage-locks (not included) through the 2 circles on one side of the lid; 9″ inside length x 6″ height.
- Tool box with key lock included. For example, Home Depot sells a couple sizes of a Husky box (larger one here) with a built-in lock and 2 duplicate keys. Heavy-duty plastic. You can even hide a small horde of discreet vibrators with over 20″ storage length!
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