In a time of quarantine, is it ironic to spotlight remote control vibrators: toys that might normally be used for public play? I thought so at first, as I was trying to finish this Svakom Ella and Elva review. One of these toys is app-controlled (but not long-distance) so your phone acts like a remote, while the other has a standard remote control.

Since so many of us are staying at home just right now, remote vibes offer a few choices, depending on whether you’re at home with a partner:

• Partnered: Use ’em for foreplay & control play, at home.
• Partnered: Use ’em in the bedroom: to get off & to stimulate during non-penetrative sex, like oral.
• Solo: Use ’em to spice up your daily quarantine routine (Doing chores? Buying groceries online or scouring UberEats? Working from home, even?).
• Solo: Use ’em while sitting on your couch dreaming about being able to go to restaurants & public events again.

Me & these Svakom vibes have had some relationship issues, unfortunately. My TL;DR: Skip out on Svakom entirely if you’re selective or have high standards. They won’t be your ideal partner. Instead, I give stronger and smarter remote control sex toys options at the end of the review.

Or keep reading for all the pluses and a few serious minuses of Svakom remote control vibrators…

Svakom Elva Review: Remote Control Egg (3/5)

The classic love egg shape in these toys is versatile: it works for clitoral stimulation if you keep it inside underwear/pants; or for vaginal stimulation. Your call.

I truly wanted to recommend the Svakom Elva as a reasonably priced remote vibe. It is fairly powerful for a love egg-style toy, definitely stronger than a cheap-o battery-powered wearable vibe. I would say it gets as strong as the We-Vibe Tango’s third of four steady speeds, but Elva is buzzier.

As always, your enjoyment will depend on (1) how strong you like your stimulation, and (2) your previous sex toy experience. Elva’s power is good for a love egg, but not as intense as:

1. A strong bullet: Like We-Vibe Tango, Sensuelle Point, FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet, and Blush Exposed Nocturnal
2. A good wand: love eggs will always be blown away by wands.
3. Quality air pulsation clit toys: like Womanizers & We-Vibe Melt.
4. A powerful G-spot vibe.

Also keep in mind that egg vibes like these do not apply G-spot pressure when inserted vaginally. You may be able to get off on them if you’re sensitive vaginally. But many G-spots need real force applied: see the massive popularity of the Njoy Pure Wand and its weighty bulbs, known for inducing squirting.

More on Elva’s vibes…

Elva’s Vibration Functions: My Experience

The Svakom Elva’s third speed is my favorite to wear around, usually clitorally. Speed 3 isn’t rumbly, but it’s not SO itchy. Not incredibly surface-level. Speeds 1 and 2 are also in the “not especially high-frequency” camp and are much weaker.

Speed 4 is OK. I wonder if it should be doing something for me. But not so much, especially not long-term because it starts to feel numbing. Speed 5 is a leap up. Buzzville.

Vaginally, I like the top speed for quick boosts. Fifteen seconds, maybe. I like the power inside. Outside, my clit finds the humming too irritating.

And the patterns. OK. I tried. I tried to get something, anything, out of them. Like many people with clits, I find it much easier to orgasm on steady vibration than on random pulsations and fluctuating patterns.

The Svakom Elva’s remote makes it very difficult to use the steady speeds only. It seems to have a mind of its own. Once it randomly changed to patterned settings on me. Out of the blue. Another time, I couldn’t move from the patterned speeds back to the steady ones after hitting the S button: I had to dig in and fish around for the on/off button on the vibrator itself. Generally, I would recommend avoiding the S button as much as possible.

I see this oddness as making Elva inaccessible as a public-play vibe for clits/vaginas that do need consistent, steady vibration to orgasm.

And check this out: Svakom’s on-site instructions actually label the wrong buttons as increase/decrease intensity. The button pictured as 🔼 below, closest to the Svakom name, is the one that lowers the power level. Whereas the button farthest away from the name increases power—doesn’t “weaken the intensity” like the graphic shows. This does not inspire confidence in me about Svakom as a brand.

Another fun feature: There’s an “Intelligent Mode” that’s basically a random pattern. I would rename it as “Clueless Mode” because these vibes couldn’t get me off to save my life. All that moving around, and none of the good steady vibes I was fine with on the first three levels. You know, the actually orgasmic ones—when they’re pressed against my clit.

Other Features

The Svakom Elva has a removal string, which is intended to make getting the vibe out of your vagina easier. I have gotten kegel balls lodged way back there before (took lots of jiggling and maneuvering to remove), so I get the idea behind the string. It’s technically not necessary because the vagina cannot swallow objects the way the rectum can; the vagina is closed off by the cervix. Instead, though, the loop helps to reposition the vibe quickly, without getting your fingers wet.

The metallic band that encircles the top of Elva requires extra work to clean. My thoughts at this point: Can we just stop with the metallic accents already. (I am a lazy cleaner.) Elva’s seam there, between silicone and metal, traps gunk more easily than the metal band on my favorite, Pillow Talk Sassy. Which is one helluva vibrator.

Svakom’s packaging is clean and luxe, and Elva comes with a nice little storage pouch. It is well presented. (Forgive me for not having a pic: I tend to not care about packaging, because it’s functions and feel that matter to me.)

It’s also splashproof but not guaranteed waterproof submersible. Don’t take it down deep into water, but you can clean it in the sink, etc.

The Svakom Elva is pretty quiet, not noiseless. It gets up to about 37 decibels, measured a foot away. The first half of the speed range should be almost undetectable to normal human ears, when the vibe is inserted especially.

Svakom Ella App-Controlled Egg Vibe (2.5/5)

OK, so first, I wish this app-controlled vibrator’s name wasn’t so similar to the non-app toy, Elva. It’s confusing. I’d been playing with the Svakom Elva and Ella for weeks before I sat down to write about ’em and had to iron out which name belonged to which toy. So let’s dive into the distinct differences…

Svakom Ella vs. Svakom Elva

Ella (red) appears sexier than Elva (pink), IMO. First, due to Ella’s lack of loop-retrieval cord—which makes me think of really cheap remote vibes. Also, Ella has the light spiral-y texture, which cannot be felt but looks cool.

Ella and Elva both have the same metallic plated accent that requires extra cleaning. Both are splashproof and USB rechargeable, with storage bags and nice packaging.

But Ella’s function-control button is at the end of the tail (it’s a big circle!), rather than on the egg itself. So you don’t need to dig in to change speeds, if you’re wearing it vaginally for whatever reason, and want to change speeds the old-fashioned way—or if you need to power off suddenly.

Or, of course you can use the Svakom app. And you better use the app, because the built-in speed range sucks. (And not in the mind-blowing, We-Vibe Melt kinda way.)

The Built-In Speeds

The Svakom Ella has 11 preset functions. **ONE** OF THEM IS A STEADY SPEED. As a sex toy expert, I am indignant about this.

When I first started writing about this toy, IT WAS IN ALL CAPS because grrrrr. It’s so frustrating to only have one steady (nonpulsing) vibration function when in general, most users get off on consistent vibration. Speeds that are not jumping, bounding, and leaping all over. Just holding still, and progressing upward in intensity—especially for a final push before climax.

Ella’s speed #1 is as strong and as NUMBING as Elva’s fifth, and highest, intensity. The lack of speed range is astonishing. Mission failure, from the get-go. And it gets worse from here.

The App

I was hoping the app would allow for better speed range in Ella. More than that one steady level. With fully adjustable vibes being a growing market—BMS Factory leading the way with its PalmPower and then Pillow Talk vibes—we know that more user control is possible even in a not-expensive vibrator.

And the Svakom app does help a bit. You can make Ella not just kinda-strong-and-quite-buzzy. More like “almost a little rumbly” if you swipe down to the lowest wave setting.

But interestingly, I think that Ella ($79) gives you less intensity options, but the same top power, as Elva ($54). A higher price should give you more options, don’t you think? But perhaps a lot of Ella’s price tag has gone toward the app development.

The app is fine. It does not allow you to create patterns and just let them run, and especially doesn’t allow you to choose from patterns that other users have invented, like all Lovense vibes are awesome for. (So many choices. I’ve actually had fun with patterns, it’s astonishing.)

It does let you drag your finger up and down within the preset functions, all dozen or so of them. (One, a kinda-wavy one, is almost indistinguishable from a steady speed. It’s the yellow pictured above.)

The Svakom app also includes a Free Touch Mode, where you drag your finger all over a blank screen and that increases or decreases the vibes. This setting is the type of function that’s definitely best with a partner. It’s close to We-Vibe’s new Touch control function. Frankly, I think this function is exhausting to keep the vibes in by myself, but YMMV.

I’m fascinated by why the Svakom app decided to display German instructions in the Free Touch Mode startup screen for me. (Everything else is in English.) Maybe it’s “Intelligent Mode” trying to be Omniscient Mode, and detecting that year of German I took back in high school.

Since this has been such a positive review so far, lemme continue the trend and talk about how having NEWS as an option on the Svakom app home screen was the least sexy thing I’ve ever found in a vibrator app, when I started playing with Ella right after coronavirus began hitting the US hard. NEWS? Ugh, no thank you, my anxiety is on high already. But the News section here doesn’t include world news, only Svakom-specific promo pieces.

Problematic Marketing

I don’t do too many call-outs as a reviewer. I like to avoid bullshit (unless it’s supposedly worth a thousand dollars). But oh wow, do I have some seriously irresponsible marketing to chastise Svakom for here. The company suggests anal use for this egg vibrator. WTF.

Besides the fact that Svakom is apparently unwilling to hire a fluent English speaker to edit their product copy, it’s SO BAD that they’re suggesting putting this toy up one’s butt. Only toys with flared bases should be inserted anally. Inserting bullet vibes, etc. puts you at risk for needing an ER visit and even extractive surgery.

Svakom’s description reads:

Perfect Size for Both Vaginal & Anus
She has a perfect size (33mm diameters) for you, I mean, whether you like anal or vaginal pleasure, she can perfectly fit your honey holes. If you like hard-core, why don’t you an adventure out with SVAKOM ELLA Mobile- controlled Wearable Bluetooth Vibrating Bullet Egg with App inside of you.

Honey holes.

“If you like hard-core”!!!

This is a brand that’s nearly BEGGING to be ridiculed. The amount of laughter this description brought me when I read it—more pleasure than the actual vibrator.

Of course you could buy Svakom from Spectrum Boutique. Which is run by intelligent human beings who do NOT suggest unsafe toy uses like bullet vibes inside the rectum, nor do they gender vibrators. (“She has a perfect size”?!?)

If you’re OK with a single speed of not deep, but moderately strong, vibration, then the Ella is safe for vaginal use. Before I tried using this vibe, it seemed worth considering.

Now, though, I recommend you consider paying $40 more for the OhMiBod Esca 2. With Esca, you get rumblier vibrations and a better built-in speed progression. It’s considerably more orgasmic for me.

Overall Thoughts & Alternatives

Svakom would like to be a luxury vibrator company, a We-Vibe or Fun Factory, but they’re definitely not there yet. The Svakom Elva is not a bad vibe: it’s got good power for a love egg. The difficulty comes in trying to use the remote control, which is a pain if you don’t really love patterns / you need steady speeds to orgasm.

And Ella? Yeah…Ella needs some work. Even if we ignore Svakom’s sloppy anal-use suggestion, this is an $80 vibrator with one preset steady speed. Trying to get off on a vibrator with one buzzy steady speed? A unique form of purgatory. Fingers would be better.

Instead, here are toys that I do recommend if you want good quality, and easier use. Also if you crave rumbliness and/or are wanting long-distance control:

• OhMiBod Esca 2, a rumbly vaginal vibe. Wearable & long-distance capable.
• We-Vibe Moxie, a vibe that clips onto underwear easily. Very rumbly, not weak, tons of intensity options. Wearable & long-distance capable.
• BMS Leaf Spirit, remote but NOT app controlled. Strong for a panty vibe, with 3 speeds. Wearable.
• For truly serious power at home (not for wearing around): We-Vibe Melt (a better Womanizer toy), We-Vibe Wand, Lovense Domi 2 wand. All long-distance capable.

See my full app-controlled sex toy ranking here, and my wearable panty vibrator ranking here for more details.

Consider the Svakom Elva here, and Ella here.

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