Who Am I, and Why Am I Here? (= About Me and Mission Statement)1
Call me Felicity. I’m an editor, an introvert, a lover of French food and desserts, an avid walker, and a student of the humanities and people in general. If you saw me out with my kids at Walmart, you’d never guess that silicone sex toys were my passion. But here I am writing a sex blog, because I’m a phallophile—a cock-lover—of epic proportions.2 I’m also calling myself a “G-spot diva” because my vagina, as much as it loves penetration, is all kinds of picky. Because of my choosiness, I’ve read a million reviews and done a ton of research (it’s all for science, right?) over the past year to find out which body-safe toys worked for me. There are so many options out there, and I’d love to help others figure out what works for them without too much hassle! Feel free to e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org if you’re looking for specific dildo suggestions that I might be able to help with.3
With this goal in mind, I’m listing some details of my anatomy and preferences here to help anyone who’s reading my reviews understand whether their own preferences might match mine at all—though there’s no guarantee, as I’ve read reviews about how a certain dildo worked on somebody’s prostate and found that it functioned similarly well in my vagina. Know that I’m not saying my preferences are in any way “right” or that they’re better than any other person’s preferences. This is just how I happen to be:
- I’m in the ≈20–25% of women4 who can consistently orgasm from penetration alone. Because of this, I’m much, much more interested in dildos (and occasionally vibrating dildos) than in any type of external vibrator, though I do sometimes enjoy a good bullet vibe, like my We-Vibe Tango.
- Because my G-spot is so demanding, I only use my toys so that the coronal ridge is hitting the frontal (anterior) wall of my vagina. During PIV, I don’t get as much out of doggy, or any other position where I’m not facing my partner.
- Most of the time I get off through fast thrusting.
- I also don’t do anal because I don’t find it as pleasurable as vaginal penetration.
So here’s what this all translates to in terms of silicone dildo preferences (check out my Toy Box for details):
- Medium–large (1.5–2.25” diameter) glans with a protruding coronal ridge. Around 1.75” diameter preferred in firmer silicone (above 10A shore).5
- I dislike toys with “hooked” heads that taper drastically where they meet the shaft, like the Lelo Ella, We-Vibe Glow, and Godemiche Ambit (I’d also put the VixSkin Mustang and Vixen Woody in this category). They’re just too pinpoint—I guess my frontal wall likes broader stimulation than some.
- Moderate (realistic) forward curve = better G-spotting.
- I like top-heavy toys rather than toys whose shafts expand midway down or toward the base. I have no interest in the knots that many fantasy toys offer.
- I love realistic toys, but I also like more fantastical ones if they meet all my other criteria.
- Some squish is good, but not too much. I don’t like the soft (usually 00-30 silicone) and medium (usually 00-50 silicone) firmness options that many fantasy toy makers offer, because they have too much give/flexibility for me.
- I wouldn’t describe myself as a “texture junkie,” but I’m finding that I’m more and more interested in texture as I try more toys. (Maybe there’s a learning curve for textured toys.)
- Large bases are a pain in the ass. If the base is large, I’d like a suction cup.
- Balls on toys generally equals slower manual thrusting, so there’d better be a suction cup or bullet hole if the toy has balls. (Also, I just about never face a dildo so that the balls would hit my clit, so I don’t get anything from that.)
Finally, I aim to promote sex positivity as much as possible! It’s taken me a long time to get over some negative beliefs about sex and my body in general (as discussed in my series Making Up for Lost Orgasms), and I hope to help others find accurate, nonjudgmental information during their own journey toward figuring out and learning to love their own sexual preferences.
- Above image ©Wellcome Blog. See Wikimedia for details.
- This is not a solicitation for dick pics. I’ll find those on my own if I’m so inclined.