Dual Pleasure Strap Ons Critical Guide

Dual pleasure: It’s a goal I’ve seen over and over again when new strap-on harness buyers wonder, How can my partner enjoy penetrating me while wearing a strap-on harness? “Double pleasure” dildos are the first option you’ll probably see offered: And vibrating double dildos (also called “strapless strap-ons”) do have advantages — as well as drawbacks. They’re one solution to “How does a strap on pleasure the wearer?” But there are other solutions too: Clitoral & vaginal orgasms during strap-on sex can come from vibration, from friction & grinding, and from vaginal fullness and pressure. I’ll describe how my favorite filling strap-on sex toy unites all 3. 💥

I take a no-bullshit, critical approach to sex toys, and do my darndest to recommend the current best products. That means no porous TPE dildos or toxic PVC strapons, no wired remote controls, and only rechargeable and waterproof vibrators. (It’s 2021, say “no” to 1990s-style sex toys!) In my 5 years as a pro reviewer, I’ve seen strap-on sex toys improve, happily, as I got more into harness play. In this dual pleasure strap on guide, I’ll cover double ended strap-on dildos, to clit stimulators in a strap on harness, to my personal favorite solution for blended orgasms while strapping it on. My experiences draw from both “pegging” and “girl-on-girl” play with vibrating double dildos. I’ll keep updating this guide as new best dual pleasure strap on options come on the market & I gain more fun times using them!

Strapless Strap-Ons: Pros and Cons

Summary: Strapless strap-ons are one avenue for dual pleasure, best suited for play where the two partners’ pelvic floors are being ground against each other. The movement, the friction, allows for dual pleasure here. And your bodies’ closeness helps fight gravity. Without the extra support of a harness, penetration from behind will be difficult; and anal play (“pegging”) is much more challenging. “Strapless strapon” dual-pleasure dildos do fit inside some harnesses well: depending on the harness. (Compatible harnesses listed in this section, later.)

I tell you what, it felt like we were doing some real contortions by the end of the strapless play.

My experience: My first strapless strapon session with a bi female partner was indeed strapless. I’ll tell you about it, the limitations of using a strapless dildo without a harness, and why I would recommend a harness for sure for anal penetration.

She appeared in a pair of thigh-high leather boots, a bag of toys (and other implements) in tow. We talked about what she wanted to explore, and the toys she liked best. A silicone vibrating strapless dildo was her favorite; she’d used it with her boyfriend, too, but found it hard to sustain. She needed a girl to play with, so there I was: the receiver, of the longer dildo end.

So how to use a strapless strap-on? We learned:

  1. She went first, pulling the toy out, and turning on the first vibration function.
  2. Then, she inserted the small end inside her vagina… and approached me.
  3. We moved our butts closer together, knees bent; I was reclining on my elbows.
  4. Finally, she reached down and started easing the dildo end into my pussy.
  5. (I’d pulled out some lube before we started and was wet already!) Lube matters.
  6. She began rocking her hips, gently… pushing forward into me.

Ass-to-ass we laid still, both on our backs and propped up by our elbows, as she ground the dildo into me. The vibrations got speeded up quickly. I enjoyed watching her, especially as she got more into it, moving faster and then transitioning to being on her knees. She thrust deeper, and this toy (about 6 inches long) was a traditionally firm silicone vibrator: very little give. My cervix started to feel uncomfortable, from the hardness and depth, while she was arching her back forward, to try to keep the toy inside herself. Fighting gravity with force. As fun as the action was to view, I asked her to go slower, like before; and managed to orgasm a second time. (The first had been very quick, from the novelty & the sexiness of the scene.) The G-spot action of this particular toy had been a little lacking for me too, so we continued to other products in the sex toy bag: She came really hard as I rubbed her Satisfyer Pro 2 gently on her clit.

The moral: I’m glad I had the strapless strapon test experience, but it’s a type of play that’s hard to sustain physically! (Kind of like suction-cup dildoing, tbh.) Pros of strapless double ended dildos: For F-F play where dual pleasure dildos are being employed, the intimacy of going it strapless is definitely an advantage. You can feel their skin directly on yours, their body warmth. And you don’t have to stop and take the time to put on the harness and tighten the straps! But… that sexiness may very well be outweighed by the Cons of 100% strapless dildos: intended for everyone’s pleasure, but possibly harder for both partners (literally and figuratively!). The back-arching, the repositioning, the lack of curvature in the dildo. And as for anal, I know I’ve had enough trouble easing softer silicone dildos into my 2 pegging partners’ butts and getting a good angle while I was wearing a great harness, so I can’t even imagine wanting to go that route unstrapped: their butt would pull out my “pony” (the vaginal side of the dildo), especially in the easiest pegging position, from behind/doggy style.

Strapless strapon double sided dildo - difficult
Fighting gravity: Where my hand is, that’s where you *need* another person’s orifice to keep the dildo thrusting, not falling out.

Vibrating Double Dildos List: Body-Safe Silicone

After my first double dildo session, I surveyed vibrating double dildos for strapon sex: What are the best double sided dildos? Intense scrutiny ensued! Again, all choices are 100% body-safe and functionally nonporous materials. Here I list a few non-vibrating dual ended dildos too… But will note I think vibration is much more orgasmic, especially when I’ve been the one strapping it on. See options #1 to 5 especially.

Strap On Men Bendable Vibrating Dildo, posable pony
Option #1’s pony bends a lot, and stays when you release it!
  1. Strap On Me Vibrating Bendable Strap-On ($129.99 here): This is the best pleasure for the wearer: The Strap On Me vibrates AND the wearable bulb has a super-flexible neck, that you curve to fit the wearer’s vulva (and then it stays put). This makes a world of difference for good positioning and comfortable wear. The bulb is nicely rounded and medium sized. It’s neither too long, nor poking me. The Strap-On-Me Bendable’s neck vibrates too, for clit stimulation! I’ve strapped on and received this dildo as well. When taking it, I think the head is just prominent enough for good G-spot stimulation when you add in the vibrations. The Strap-On-Me Bendable Vibrating Dildo rumbles (grrrr!), and its remote control lets you turn on/off 3 separate motors: in the dildo tip, in the lower shaft, and in the vaginal bulb. Again, the easy adjustability is what sets this product apart, and I hope to see more vibrating strapless dildos like it. My only “meh” about this Strap-On-Me double dildo is that yeah, the shaft is kinda flexible, but (like almost1 every silicone vibrator!) the silicone is still a little hard for my taste. As the receiver, personally, I’d pick a soft silicone sheath like this to soften faster thrusting / intense play where a GF is wearing the Strap-On-Me vibrating double dildo in a harness. But as the giver: I think this toy is well-suited for pegging play, too (*if* a harness is being used), as the firmer material is easier to insert anally, and the vibrations are super-fun all around.
  2. VixSkin Peacemaker by Vixen ($135.00 here): Peacemaker’s for getting really dicked, by the big VixSkin dildo end. Best pleasure for the receiver who enjoys phallic stimulation. Non-vibrating! There’s also a less-phallic version, the Nexus, where both ends are Vixen’s medium-soft silicone (no squishy VixSkin feel). The pony end is Vixen’s medium-soft density, about 10A Shore durometer, so it bends some but doesn’t adjust, and will be hecking awkward if you don’t wear a strong harness like SpareParts Joque.
  3. Desire Luxury Strapless Strapon by Lovehoney (currently $49!) (black) & Happy Rabbit Strapless (same toy but pink): Solid design, and its vibrations are pretty good. (Not as rumbly as the Strap-On-Me, but reasonably strong.) The pony and dildo end are well-shaped: yay!, the pony end adjusts well and is for G-spot “come hither’ fingering feel. The rabbit ears are a tad problematic: they may jab, depending on how your clit is positioned, and whether you’re thrusting fast. Being so thin, they’re flexible, but look at how much they stick out! They’re unlikely to stay surrounding your clit if you’re goin’ to town. Definitely have a harness ready to support your “strapless” if trying this one. This toy should have a remote like the Strap-On-Me; it does not!
  4. Temptasia Luna ($59.99 here) & Temptasia Estella by Blush: The included bullet vibe — a black version of the Exposed Nocturnal — is quite strong, but it’s angled backward (sticks out weird in a harness) and the vibes don’t translate through the dildo’s silicone especially well. The Temptasia Luna’s bulb shape is reminiscent of the Tantus Feeldoes, so it’s smaller and don’t curve aggressively for the wearer; plus its bullet slot is in line with the dildo (better for brief style harnesses). It’s an OK double dildo; I feel like it’s kinda cheap-feeling for its ≈$60 price tag, but may be worth it if you plan on using the powerful bullet separately too. The Estella I recommend even less: it’s tougher to position, in my experience. The “pony” bulb end arcs sharply, plus the firmer silicone doesn’t flex naturally with my pelvic floor, so this double dildo is constantly wanting to drift forward even inside a harness. It clashes with my vagina.
  5. Lovehoney Posable Rechargeable Vibrating (currently $47.99 here!): It is adjustable in the bulb (pony) end, helpful for comfort! The shaft has a tapered and slightly rippled design (good for a receiver who wants a non-phallic toy. The bullet vibrator is so-so; middle of the road vibrations that don’t travel terribly well. Lovehoney’s description reads, “Made from unbelievably soft silicone,” which is inaccurate; it’s silky, it has a sleek finish, but it is not soft. No one who’s felt a good fantasy dildo or a SuperSoft plug by SquarePeg could make the mistake of calling a 20A-Shore product “soft.” Overall, the Posable Rechargeable Vibrating Dildo feels like a cheaper version of the Desire Luxury/ Happy Rabbit above, but will 100% avoid the issue of rabbit ears not sitting correctly (depending on the wearer). Would recommend as a beginner choice or option for a first pegging experience.
  6. Fun Factory Share Vibe couples dildo: Oooh, this one’s got an extreme curve in the pony end, to try to keep it in place and for G-spot pressure! Definitely pair with a harness like Spareparts Joque, though, it’s too much to maintain strapless. The dildo end is slimly tapered and nonphallic: so no realism is involved. The silicone is firm and a bit draggy; use lots of lubricant. The removable bullet vibe is moderately powerful, not super-stimulating (5.5 / 10 for power).
  7. Vedo Strapped: This vibrates, but is really not a double pleasure dildo. The vibration is strong and buzzy at the head of the dildo, but the shaft barely vibrates and it’s placed higher up on the wearer’s pubic mound (not close to the clit). The Strapped is simply not thoughtfully designed for two-way pleasure, though I guess you might orgasm from it if you’re OK with indirect vibration. The hole inside the dildo could fit a smaller flaccid penis, but I wouldn’t guarantee any comfort for the wearer…I see their balls getting smushed by the firm silicone dildo ring. The harness included with this kit feels flimsy, cheap, not supportive. The remote control is nice! The silicone is super-firm in this dildo, too; as someone who’s more sensitive and enjoys realistic feel, I personally wouldn’t want to either strap it on or receive it.
  8. Tantus Feeldoes (followed by the more realistic “Realdoe”) deserve mention here for being the first double ended wearable dildos. These toys (see here) have been renamed the “Tantus Strapless™ Strap On” (Classic & Slim versions) and “Tantus Real Strapless™ Strap On” this year, it seems, while all have gone out of production due to changes over at Tantus and supply issues. Tantus uses firmer silicone, and I would imagine that the comfort level depends on the wearer’s pelvic floor spacing and whether they enjoy hardness in their strapless strapon.
  9. Traditional double dildos, to be used ass-to-ass with no harness: The Colours Double Pleasures is 12 inches long and slimmer; its straight shape facilitates grinding against your partner. Have pillows ready to prop up your backs, for more comfort? U-shaped double dildos, in contrast, are strongly curved so the same person will use them for double penetration (vaginal + anal). Be really careful about what you buy here, because the vast majority of these traditional double dildos are “jelly” (usually TPR/TPE), which lets bacteria grow so much more easily than silicone does.
  10. Lovehoney Double Take Double Dildo: Yikes. The flat break between the two dildos severely limits your ability to position this toy securely; the wearer-end just doesn’t arc right. It’s firm silicone and non-posable too. People can use this toy??? Not to mention the harness is flimsy. Pass.
  11. Lovehoney Double Delight Adjustable (pink on clearance) or in turquoise: Though the pony is adjustable vaginally, it’s likely to slip out, as the firm silicone shaft just doesn’t flex; plus the very cheapest vibrations money can buy. This is not a good bullet vibrator. If you’re in the market for a slim dildo for trying out pegging one or two times, then OK, maybe. But if you want a toy you’re eager to return to again and again, look higher on this list. Current price is $24.99, but Lovehoney claims full retail is $49.99; I wouldn’t pay (or advise a friend to pay) more than $20 for this product.

A limitation of double ended dildos is that they’re firm for stability and if they have a vibrating motor core. As someone who is deeply into lifelike feel, I usually want more softness! Both as the harness-wearer and as the receiver! If you’re more sensitive, softer silicone allows for more comfort (especially during fast thrusting!). It’s more natural-feeling; like how realistic silicone dildos all involve super-soft platinum silicone. Other users will love firm pressure; it all depends on you and your body’s preferences. Because I do like it softer inside, I came up with a solution, next! ⬇️🎉

My Favorite Dual Pleasure Strap On Aids

How do I gain the most pleasure during strap-on sex? Thru vaginal fullness, soft “fleshy” silicone, and G-spot stimulation! DAMN if this toy combination doesn’t do it all for me inside a strap-on harness!!! ❗ I call this double pleasure aid the “Lush Squeeze”: a grouping of the

It’s like they were made for each other! It was a glorious day when I pulled out my gear, realized I enjoyed the Lush inside a harness, but… it kept wanting to slip out and wasn’t thick enough for me. (Lush’s tail is so skinny, and the bulb’s wide part is very short.) So I slotted these two 💯 sex toys together, put them in my harness briefs, and started grinding away. The stretching and vibration together are awesome for me.

Strap On Harness Pleasure for Her_ Lovense Lush + G squeeze vaginal plug, in Temptasia Briefs, with Avant D16 dildo & Bumpher
OMG the fullness + G-spot stim. (Dildo pictured is the Avant D15 with a Bumpher attached.)
I used this combo humping a pillow at first, then tried it a few days later while actually strapping on. It makes me want to come even when I’m walking around with it in (Lush alone does not), but when I’m fully inserted (deep thrust)… Awwww, that’s the best.🤯💦

IMO the Lovense Lush + G squeeze together are everything I wanted in a vibrating double dildo (as the harness wearer). There’s no awkwardness with trying to position a double dildo right, no hardness inside my body, and I can pick whatever dildo to use on my partner / swap out using multiple dildos in the same play session. It’s less limiting that way. Due to the bulk of the vaginal plug, I do recommend a harness with more support underneath: brief-style is best.

If you don’t need a filling toy / prefer slimmer things vaginally, the Lush by itself can be worn while strapping on! Here’s a fuller review of what Lush can do, including Lovense’s awesome app control.

Another vaginal plug I’ve tried is the Oxballs Honcho, which I enjoy because it’s thick (for the stretch!) but not too long. So it stays in well if you have support. And I’ve tried butt plugs like the Forto F-60 Spade plug inside too! But both those don’t give me orgasms during harness play, not like the vibrating and filling G squeeze + Lush.

Top Strap-On Harness Summary

What are the best harnesses that can take double dildos & other toys? A list of high-quality harnesses, focused on clit & vaginal pleasure for the harness wearer:

  • Spareparts Joque. Top of the line.
  • Temptasia Briefs. The most supportive & most stimulating cheaper harness. Multiple sizes are available, and my Temptasia Briefs matched with the size of women’s underwear I wear. You can tell they’re more cheaply made because they have little threads sticking up here and there, around the seams all over. However, I’ve gotten a ton of enjoyment while wearing these, I appreciate both the support they provide for vaginal toys and the vibrator pocket that runs between my vag and clit (see the next section of this guide for clitoral pleasure during strap-on play).
  • Spareparts Tomboi are higher-quality briefs!
  • Spareparts Sasha has a sexy boyshort look, with ruches that hug your butt checks on the back side.

All the above let you choose your own dildo to insert: Up to just over 2 inches diameter (pretty thick). They’re just not for monster dildos.

A thick (2″ D) Oxballs Buddy squeezing thru Joque’s stretchy O-ring; the fabric is supportive. (This photo got censored on Instagram despite the underwear I wore under the harness: I lost followers for MONTHS as a direct result!)

There are multiple styles of strap-on harness: (1) “Beginner” harnesses (read: cheaper ones) have backpack-esque nylon straps and, often, interchangeable O-rings. They’re really not made for comfort, and often lack bullet vibe slots that might contain a vibrator for the wearer’s pleasure. (2) Brief style harnesses are great for dual pleasure (with vag-having wearer): They have more support below (under the wearer’s pelvic floor) so they’re good for holding vaginal plugs or vaginal vibrators in. These include a slot for a bullet vibrator outside too, for clit stimulation. (3) Jock-style harnesses have a triangular front, some coverage in the front half of the pelvic floor, and two straps that fit under the wearer’s ass cheeks. (4) Leather harnesses are often jock-style. (But may be more intense, like full body ones. See Aslan Leather for clit-having wearers, or Mr. S Leather for penis-having ones.) (5) Vac-U-Lock harnesses may be jock-style or more supportive for giant-ass dildos. These are distinct because their O-ring holds in a Vac-U-Lock plug that fits inside a Vac compatible dildo (making really large toys more secure). Vac harnesses position the dildo higher up on the wearer’s pubic mound; and therefore, don’t provide much pelvic floor support or vibrator slots low enough that the vibrator is directly touching anyone’s clitoris.

Some harnesses look really stylin’ at first but then you realize they provide no pleasure to the wearer! I tried out the Regal Empress harness once, for example, and I was like, “What is the point of this?!” Look at how high up the dildo rides, while I need more stimulation underneath! Sad panda.

Clitoral Stimulators During Strap On Sex

Can you have a clitoral orgasm during strapon sex? Yes, absolutely; without penetration for the harness wearer. Make sure your harness has a pouch to hold a small vibrator: a.k.a. a “bullet slot.” Preferably a slot that is close to the clitoris, rather than way up residing on the wearer’s mons pubis like so. Some people can get off by just grinding clitorally, but vibration makes it easier!

My favorite clit-vibing harness time is the Intense Travel Vibe in the big pouch in thee Temptasia Briefs’ crotch. The Intense Travel Vibe is a strong bullet for a very good price, and just the right length to fit in the briefs’ compartment. In the realm of bullet vibrators, “intense” is no lie here: the Intense Travel Mini overpowers the rumbly We-Vibe Tango X ($79), and starts strong. Be wearing your harness first, then reach in and position the vibrator — and, hopefully, its tip right around your clitoris. (If you try putting in the vibe and then put the briefs on, it will probably fall out!)

Clitoral pleasure in strap-on harness_Intense Travel Mini bullet vibrator in Temptasia Briefs harness briefs
Finger where the Intense Travel vibe is purrring away!

SpareParts Joque has 2 slots above and below the dildo hole that will just barely fit in the BMS Essential Power Bullet. Use the lower slot, and the vibrations are close to (but not directly touching) the clit nearby. However, instead I recommend fitting a bullet vibe into the open V-shaped pouch so it’s parallel to the wearer’s labia. Much stronger vibration contact that way, and orgasms are less frustrating to achieve.

The Bumpher may be a clit stimulator, kind of, if the dildo hole in your strap-on harness is lower down (like it may be in the Spareparts Joque).The bottom bump is at the transitional space between pubic mound and labia, so if you’re angling yourself the right way and grinding, you might get a little stimulation. But, really the Bumpher is about shielding the dildo-wearer’s mound from hard bashing. If you’re thrusting fast and your dildo base is hard, pain can happen! The Bumpher is softer silicone that provides padding, cushioning.

Choosing Dual Pleasure Toys with Your Partner

Both partners want pleasure, so it’s smart to shop together and talk about what you both are looking for! The amount of body-safe silicone dildos to choose from is crazy nowadays. The primary dildo-receiver will be affected by the toy’s shape, and size, and how it feels; while the harness wearer may have opinions on what their new dick should look like too, and what color they’d like it to be! Let them know how excited you are to start trying out the new toys… But which styles will work for you both?

If you’re new to strap-on sex, especially anally, remember to start smaller! (“Don’t let your hole get greedy.”) I cover beginner pegging dildos and anal training more in this article. 1 inch diameter is a good starting point, and remember the lubricant.

Pleasure and exploration can be so hot together, with a willing partner… It’s all about trying new things, discovering what works and discarding the rest! Enjoy.


NOTE

  1. We-Vibe, for one, is starting to go softer with injection-molded silicone: The Nova 2 has a fantastic density, quite forgiving.

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