2018 was a mind-fuck of a year for me—the highs and lows were on a new level. I went through big personal changes that could’ve ended this blog: a breaking point, a divorce, a move, and a lot of confusion about where I was going in life.
Besides that, there was the American political climate (let’s not even go there) and the chaos of adult-content censorship across social media (Twitter shadowbans, Instagram account suspension and hashtag banning,1 and of course the Tumblr no-porn debacle this December2).
But amidst all the turmoil, I had a hell of a lot of fun: I got to know weird new people and formed deep bonds; I attended a sexual freedom summit and met toy reviewers I’d admired for years; I briefly tried my hand at being non-monogamous;3 and of course I wrote about sex toys—A LOT.
So, in the end, I say, “Screw it” to all the nonsense that’s gone on this year. Instead, I’m going to celebrate: the awesomeness of the sex-positive people I work with on a daily basis, and the orgasmic goodness of the new toys I’ve discovered this year. 
Keep reading for my thoughts on why these toys rock, jump ahead to my best review quotes & pics of the year, or see my biggest sex toy fails here!
Contents
TOP FIVE SEX TOYS OF 2018
Fun Factory Stronic G & Stronic Real
I love the thrust! I may have declared the Stronic Real the “best piece of engineering I’ve ever put in my vagina,” because the quality kicks ass and ooooh, the motion. The Fun Factory Stronic pulsators use a magnetic weight system to jiggle back and forth, so fast, really massaging as they go. Even better, for me the Stronic G is totally hands-free, and the Real is most of the time.
This year I tested out all three members of Fun Factory’s Pulsator II series of lighter-weight jiggling machines: the Stronic G, Stronic Real, and Stronic Surf. Each shape has its advantages (comparison here), and I’m all about the phallic things, so I’m a particular fan of the Stronic Real. But the Stronic G is off the hook too!
Honorable mention goes to the Velvet Thruster thrusting dildos. Their longer stroke length makes them feel more like penetrative sex than the Stronics, and their motors are the best of any true thrusting dildo out there.4 But the Velvet Thrusters also have a couple downsides—like the noise level. All in all, I have to say the Stronics are a bit more user-friendly.
Uberrime Splendid Dual-Density Dildo
The Uberrime Splendid is simply the best new G-spotting dildo on the market—if you want your toy to feel more lifelike (rather than rock solid). It’s a G-spot dildo on a mission. The shape is perfection, the two-layered firmness is spot-on: soft but not oh-so-squishy. And I hear it’s great for prostate stimulation too!
Honorable mention goes to the Uberrime Helios. I actually use my Helios more than my Splendid because I love the big fucking head (and its huge ridge), plus the 9-spiral texture that rubs against my vulva as I thrust. Because of its size, its flexibility, and all that texture, though, Helios is more of a niche toy compared to the Splendid. But, by the dildo gods, the silicone marbling is gorgeous!
Blush Novelties Avant Soft Silicone Collection
These colorful toys are orgasmic eye candy. I’ve owned my fair share of lively artisan and fantasy dildos, but there’s something about the stripes on the Blush Avant toys that always makes me smile.
And that’s not all—the silicone is pleasantly soft too, making them so much more usable for me! Before I got my Avant D5, I assumed it would bore me to tears. But I guess you just never know, because in a strange twist of fate, it (and its cuter twin, the Avant D6) turned out to be one of my favorites of all time.
And if you’re into more focused, intense G-spot pressure, then the Avant D3 or D4 is the toy for that! (Probably no surprise that it’s the most popular Avant shape.)
Blush Ruse Jammy
But wait, there’s more Blush! I love Blush Novelties so much for making truly budget-friendly, body-safe silicone toys that also feel great. I had to throw this dildo into the round-up because, you know, it wouldn’t be Phallophile Reviews without a super-realistic silicone dick in the mix. 
Jammy is incredibly inexpensive for its size, the cheapest 2-inch-thick silicone dildo on the market5 that I’d actually trust to be quality silicone. (Read why it’s so cheap in my review here.)
And it’s not just the price, but the sensation: Blush’s platinum silicone has a lovely satiny feel, a fascinating contrast with Jammy’s abundance of skin texture and veins. I’m really enjoying Jammy suction-cupped to the wall, especially when I want extra G-spot stim, because its solid upward curve is delightful.
Lovehoney Desire Luxury Weighted Curved Dildo
Lovehoney’s Desire Luxury Weighted Curved Silicone Dildo takes a tried-and-true G-spotting shape and adds something new: weight inside, instead of just plain silicone. The toy’s name might be boring AF, but the flat head, plus the added heft, make this dildo feel sensational when I’m massaging my G-spot with it. 
And—this may sound shocking, but—I generally find it more usable than the Njoy Pure Wand, more thrustable, which actually means I get off more easily. The Pure Wand is a G-spot and prostate champion, but sometimes…you have to learn to deal with its weight. If you don’t need so much pressure, I highly recommend the Desire Luxury Weighted Curved Dildo as a Pure Wand alternative.
Want to enter to win any of these 5 toys (or a SheVibe gift card!) right now? Jump to the giveaway widget here.
BEST NEW-TO-ME CLASSICS
Dorr Silker G-Spot Vibrator
This is a G-spot vibe that I, someone who once that internal vibes just didn’t work for me, enjoy the hell out of. The power is rumbly, with just a tinge of buzz, and it’s strong. But not so strong that I’m overwhelmed by the first level! (Which has totally happened to me before.)
And most of all, I love the broadness of the Dorr Silker’s head. It curves forward and has just the right amount of point at the end. The handle is super-easy to hold, and of course, like any good G-spot vibe, the Silker can double as a clit vibe too (especially if you don’t like super-pinpoint stimulation).
Njoy Pure Plug
The Njoy Pure Plug is the only butt plug that really matters to me now. I wondered what the big deal was before I got one, why everyone and their friend recommended it, and then I felt the weight in my ass. That large bulb (even in the size small that I own!) is so much pressure, which my butt loves.
Best of all, the Pure Plug’s neck is thin so my sphincters don’t feel too stretched when I’m wearing it for a few hours (some people like that stretching sensation—but I don’t really), and I get a kick out of how the loop base rubs against my ass cheeks when I walk.
NS Novelties Luxe Collection Bullet Vibrators
I own my fair share of bullets vibes now—especially after completing a comparative ranking of affordable ones earlier this year—and the NS Luxe Electra is hands-down my personal favorite. It’s not the strongest motor on the market—I’d say that that honor goes to the Exposed Nocturnal Bullet, followed by the Nu Sensuelle Point Plus and the BMS Essential Bullet, for sheer power; and to the We-Vibe Tango for sheer rumbliness.
But lucky for my sometimes-too-sensitive clit, the NS Luxe Electra is rumbly without being a kick in the pants. That’s why I very often recommend the NS Luxe Collection Vibes to anyone who’s asking what bullet to get, especially if they’re new to vibrators or they know they’re looking for something that’s good but not The Most Powerful Vibe Ever.™
BIGGEST FAILS
I’ve seen too many truly forgettable toys this year to even bother considering their mediocrity. The toys I’m gonna talk about here are in a totally different category: they’ve failed me on an EPIC LEVEL.
Pipedream Fantasy for Her Love Thrust-Her
When I saw that there was a body-safe silicone-coated thrusting dildo going for under $100—$89.99 at SheVibe currently—I was jazzed. I hoped that it would be the answer to the problem that many folks have: wanting a quality thrusting toy but not wanting to blow $200 on something they might not love.
But nah, in this case you really do get what you pay for. The Pipedream Fantasy for Her Love Thrust-Her (also, that name, ack!) has a severely limited number of thrusting speeds and has bad torque (I’ve stopped the thrusting by clenching too hard right before I’m about to come), and the smell out of the box was slightly alarming.
I can still see why someone would want to buy this toy (thrusting and vibration, plus remote control and suction cup!), but…eh. I expect more.
And speaking of epic fails, this other Pipedream toy looks even better!:
YIKES, I just discovered this Pipedream toy that’s supposedly “great for insertion” and “mimicking oral sex” and I’m befuddled.
Maybe I could just eliminate my urethra (SO unnecessary) & reposition my vag farther up and outward—then it’ll be great, right?! ???? pic.twitter.com/9HSKH4Du36
— Felicity (@PhallophileRev) December 6, 2018
Major Dick
This toy is literally named “Major Dick,” so I don’t know what I was expecting… Actually, I do: mediocrity, rather than sheer awfulness. Instead, the camo dong is not only cheesy (I like cheesy, btw), but just feels godawfully cheap in the worst sense of the word.
I can explain my biggest issue with this toy in one word: the seam.
I suggest going elsewhere for your camo sex toy needs, unless you just wanna use this thing as a desk ornament. *shrug*
Fun Factory Volta
First, a disclaimer: I think this is a well-made toy. Good motor, interesting concept, high-quality materials. But. BUT. I hate the flippy-tipped motion with all the disgust I have for manufacturers’ claims that a sex toy is “better than the real thing!!!”6
I want to get off on the Volta…but it never happens. In a futile effort to finally orgasm, I turn up the speed, only to find that the Volta’s sharp, fluttering motion makes my clit even more enraged on the higher levels. It just doesn’t give me the steady, under-the-clit pressure I need. Other folks love the Volta (and the Zumio too, just looking at that thing frightens me)—that’s totally valid. But mine remains sadly unused in a bag in the unloved-toy suitcase.
BEST REVIEW LINES & SOCIAL MEDIA CRAZINESS
This year I published 45 reviews (covering 57 different toys) and photographed a buttload of sex toys in interesting positions for social media purposes. Here are some highlights!
Best Quotes
But the Infinite Thrusting Sex Machine’s first speed is already moving at about a stroke per second. “Warm-up??? What’s that?” I find myself imagining a sentient version of this thruster saying.
—Evolved Novelties Infinite Thrusting Sex Machine review
As you progress through the vibration strengths…the sound moves from “dentist’s drill” all the way to “my neighbor has just started a leafblower twenty feet from my bedroom window.”
—Hot Octopuss Pocket Pulse penis vibe review
But as for Blush’s second use suggestion, “working at your desk,” sure, I gave that a go. And I would definitely recommend it if you’re looking to spice up some boring footnotes. (Academic writing has rarely been so compelling.)
—Blush Novelties Exposed Nocturnal Bullet review
I shuffle into the kitchen with the Stronic G still pulsating away; I stand at the counter, my thighs closed around the pulsator as I munch on chocolate chip cookies and drink coffee. (I’m living my best life here!)
—Stronic Real review, on hands-free toying
This is my life as a writer, condensed: I aim for “fun” and “sexy,” and instead I end up reading serious speculation about whether there’s a fifth dimension.
—That thing I wrote on mental orgasms (and other weirdness)
Really, I imagine using any of the Velvet Thrusters as being like having sex with an android—who gives you steady, constant, unwavering thrusts.
—Velvet Walter anal bead thruster review
So G-spot orgasms are great, G-spot orgasms are wonderful, G-spot orgasms are my god. (You think I’m joking, don’t you? 
)
—Njoy Pure Wand technique guide
I swear to the dildo deities that there are twelve distinct versions of what I call the “jackhammer” (a fast alternation between on-off-on-off that grates on my nerves). Let’s just say that I don’t like the patterns, because yeah, I hate them.
—FemmeFunn Diamond Wand review
I thought maybe I’d discovered a new mythical creature, a vibrator with multiple patterns I could enjoy.
—Dorr Silker G-spot vibe review
But, I mean, I could always wear it as some sort of threatening-looking (but Barbie-pink) ring on my index finger if I was so inclined.
—Nu Sensuelle Point Plus review, on the studded silicone attachment
Clearly, I couldn’t let this suction-cupped goodness go to waste…I ran through my list of possible suction cup dildo positions, trying to decide how to make this work. I ended up thinking that maybe I should revisit my dislike for both the “dildo-on-chair” and “ass-against-the-wall” options.
—Avant D3 dildo review, referring to my most popular post
Best Social Media
It turns out that you can do a lot of fun non-sex things too when you have a growing dildo, vibrator, and butt plug army!
STUFF ‘EM IN YOUR SHORTS
For everyone who liked my sex-toys-in-shorts pic last month!
I couldn’t resist seeing how many big toys I could stuff inside this elastic waistband ???? My Tantus Steam Hunk got buried and was trying to escape out the bottom! pic.twitter.com/acO2z7BzdL
— Felicity (@PhallophileRev) June 1, 2018
FILL A SUITCASE WITH ‘EM
OK, now that I’ve sorted out my sex toy collection, I am ready to move! Priorities, you know ???? pic.twitter.com/82ajW2ag3W
— Felicity (@PhallophileRev) July 15, 2018
STICK ‘EM TO YOUR CHEST
STAGE YOUR HOUSE, PRE-SALE
LINE ‘EM UP DOWN YOUR LEGS
It’s like I have a lot of options or something! pic.twitter.com/5tZq8TW48l
— Felicity (@PhallophileRev) June 24, 2018
GET OVER YOUR NERVOUSNESS & LOOK HOT IN A HARNESS
PUT ‘EM IN A SHELF & SPIN IT ‘ROUND
Behold, the spinning dildo shelf! ???? pic.twitter.com/anYyxgeZHn
— Felicity (@PhallophileRev) August 29, 2018
BEST OF 2018 SEX TOY GIVEAWAY
Note: The top-5 toys giveaway is now over! Thanks to everyone who participated!
After all the shit that went down this past year, I think we all deserve a break—and what could be more relaxing than a free sex toy?
So I bring you what I almost decided to call the “Fuck 2018 Giveaway”: all my top 5 favorites described above, plus a $100 SheVibe gift card in case your tastes don’t align with mine! Here’s the roundup of prizes, most open internationally (minus the Blush dils, which are US & Canada only) to entrants 18 years and older:
- 1 Fun Factory Stronic pulsator from the Pulsator II series, $199 value: You choose either the Stronic G, Stronic Real, or Stronic Surf (comparison here). Name your color, and Peepshow Toys will do their utmost to get that color in your preferred model. Open internationally.
- $100 SheVibe gift card. Hell, yeah! SheVibe has a massive selection and the site is a treat to browse through, so if you can’t find something you like here, I don’t know what to tell you. SheVibe will ship to the US and 24 countries internationally (listed here), including Canada, the UK, Australia, New Zealand, and much of Europe.
- 1 Uberrime Splendid dual-density dildo, $72 value: Available in a pink to pearlescent white fade, seen here! Uberrime will ship internationally.
- 1 Lovehoney Desire Luxury Weighted Curved G-Spot Dildo, $60 value: It only comes in purple! Open to entrants located anywhere Lovehoney ships internationally (see full country list in the “show shipping for” drop-down menu on this page if you’re unsure).
- 1 Blush Avant striped silicone dildo, $30–53 value: Sure, I have a favorite Avant dildo, the D5/D6, but I wanted my winner to be able to choose the shape that worked for them. Your choices are the Avant D1, Avant D3, Avant D6, Avant P1 (rainbow!), and Avant P3, shown below.7 US and Canada residents only for this one.
- 1 Blush Novelties Ruse Jammy suction cup dildo, $33 value: In purple! I love this large, realistic dong. Also open to US and Canada residents only.
Phallophile Reviews Best Sex Toys of 2018 Giveaway
Other Terms & Conditions
All giveaway entrants and winners must be 18 years of age. Giveaway begins December 27, 2018, and ends at 11:59 Pacific time January 13, 2019. Entries from giveaway-only Twitter accounts will be disqualified. Non-US winners are responsible for any duties and customs fees (but not for the international shipping cost itself).
A HUGE THANK-YOU
You, my readers, keep this site running. If you’re here, you’re some combination of horny and discerning—both great qualities in my book. Your support makes it possible for me to spend the time it takes to write thoughtful, detailed reviews and guides. My best wishes to you for the New Year: Keep being chill, sexy people and kicking butt!
And without my awesome affiliates—see all of them here—my sex toy knowledge would be so much more limited. An extra special thanks goes to Peepshow Toys and to SheVibe for donating the bigger-dollar-value items to the giveaway and for offering me so many high-quality sex toys for review.
Then there’s Uberrime’s Marco, who makes such bad-ass dildos all by hand (and is willing to pay to ship internationally to my winner too).
Blush Novelties has become a huge supporter of my site this year; check out all the affordable, safe Blush toys I’ve reviewed, and none of them has sucked! (Well, I mean, there was that one butt plug that I couldn’t make work for my body, but close enough. ☺)
Finally, my thanks to the sex toy giant that is Lovehoney for being willing to throw in a Desire dildo at short notice!
- For example, #sextoy and #sextoys no longer exist, which is ridiculous.
- A big “fuck you” to Apple too for that one—and to FOSTA/SESTA for making platforms and providers scared about liability issues. Plus I don’t even want to consider Facebook, which has long been against even remotely sex-related content.
- In case you’re wondering, so far I suck at it!
- I consider Stronics to be “pulsators” rather than thrusting dildos. Their movement absolutely does not feel like PIV sex—that statement is a hill I will die on.
- With two exceptions, both Blush: the Real Nude Sumo here is currently on clearance for $21.99—down from its original price of $49. Or, the Temptasia Elvira is only $24—but I will swear up and down that its diameter is a bit under 1.9″, plus it has 2.5″ inches less insertable length than Jammy.
- No, no, it’s really not, because sex toys don’t mimic human contact (much less speak), nor are there any toys on the market that legit feel like flesh and blood if your bits are at all sensitive.
- The winner will be able to choose which after I email them saying they’ve won; no need to enter this info in the giveaway widget.
In 2018 I learned to take care of my own needs and not feel guilty about participating with the masses i.e. Rest of the family. I used to feel like I HAD to be involved. Now I choose more wisely.
That’s so hard to do—I like making people happy, and you’re right, deciding who’s worth the effort is so important, self-care-wise. Congrats!
Gosh, I have to think whether there was actually anything I particularly overcame this year, oops… I guess I finally just figured out that I could get other people to make phone calls for me if I was too anxious to do so? I also both got certified as a speaker of another language and took two scientific courses in that language, while also revoking someone’s right to have me speak to them in their native language due to how they were treating me because of it. I got accused of being baselessly mean to someone in the toy community, who then had to be banned by the same people who defended them to me, so I guess I was vindicated there, haha. I also finally got up the courage to write up a document detailing different role-playing scenarios for the bedroom, many of them involving consensual non-consent themes, and even though my SO is pretty vanilla it seems like he’s up to the task, so hurray for that!
It sounds like you did accomplish a lot! And stand up for yourself! And hurrah for fun new sexual exploration 🙂
I overcame my fear of getting too close to people by enjoying the moment. The truth is nothing last forever and I rather have amazing moments with someone instead of nothing at all. So I am taking things day by day.
This is really profound. Thanks for sharing.
Rest a little bit have fun
I’ve learned a lot about myself, my interests, and feeling comfortable with my own body. I’ve also learned quite a lot about safety and sexual health.
That’s awesome!
I learned so much about myself and my body in 2018! Sure my blog does help a lot, but on the more personal side, I did learn a bit more about what was mentally blocking me from having valuable intimate moments with my partner. Intimacy did scare me, and I am slowly making my way around it! Getting back to me and to my feelings, as well as communication and meditation helped a lot with that! I am stil working on this issue though, but I am going forward.
Working that kind of thing out is so important. Congrats. Always forward!
2018 was the year I set solid boundaries with my ex and stopped worrying what he thinks of my decisions (parenting or otherwise). I’ve also embraced my non-monogamous leanings and am starting to form some new relaionships.
*high five* That’s awesome.
I overcame nonsense by realizing that the actions and thoughts of others is up to them. I can only change my response to these situations. Therefore by focusing on what I can do, I overcame all the nonesense this year
That’s SO TRUE. Thanks for sharing!
Such a great view on things!
This Year I Joined A Sissy/Mistress Chat Site And Made New Friends Who Accepted My Sexuality.
Sounds fun! Having friends who understand (or at least don’t judge you) makes such a huge difference.
Reading/writing erotica always helps, and I worked up the courage to go to a rope bondage mini-workshop at a sex store (it was surprisingly low-key, so much so that I even stayed to ask questions afterward). Music, good food/coffee, and sleep really helped. (I’m better with words than images, but I’ll try to work up an entry of some sort…)
Ooh, cool! I used to think I was vanilla and now I’m all like, “Oooh, I want to see the rope bondage demo too!!!”
No worries about the image section, I’ll literally accept anything that looks like it took more than 30 seconds to complete. I’m better with words too.
The demo was more PowerPoint than power play, but I liked it! Happy new year…
Drawing e-mailed on Saturday!
Drawing e-mailed on Saturday! Attempt at drawing, I should say, but hey…
Oooh, oooh, I saw it! Just emailed you back!
2018 was the year I bought my very first dildo (which I heard of through this blog — the 5″ ColourSoft!), had my first (and 2nd, and 3rd, etc…) orgasm, bought my /second/ dildo, and started to come to terms with my sexuality. I deserve to treat my body right! Also, I came out as trans to my entire family 😀
That’s amazing! I love your attitude.
Woohoo! That’s great! I can’t imagine what it was like for you, but I hope your family is supportive. Best wishes for 2019 🙂
2018 was the year I started my very own sexblog and I’m very proud of it. I also discovered handmade dildos companies (Godemiche, Uberrime, Funkit, …) and I’m doing my best to catch’em all! Oh, and I officially came out as bi, and met a girl 🙂
Awesome, those are all huge things! And you’re right, so many good smaller companies now—it’s really the best time ever for beautiful silicone dildos.
What did I overcome…well this political environment. Speaking frankly with my folks to hear their side and try to understand. Also not letting this political environment rule me.
Really enjoying your blog and reviews. Keep up the good work!
Oh, yikes, I get that. My ex was on the other side of the divide from me, but we couldn’t talk anything out because he was always right 😛 Luckily my other family is pretty like-minded, it makes things easier.
Thanks so much for the kind words!!!
Also bought my first body safe toys due to the information you’ve published here. Thank you!
This year I overcame my anxieties about meeting my girlfriend irl for the first time. We had been online friends for years and been together almost a year. I tried to suppress it, but the idea of meeting her scared me to death. I was scared that communication was going to be difficult and awkward, that it’d be so different being with her in real life than online, and I worried that we wouldn’t connect as well. That we’d change our minds about each other. I had been worrying about it ever since we first started dating and planned this trip. I’d had fleeting thoughts of “maybe I should back out”. At one point she even expressed to me that she’d had similar fears of not being compatible irl, since something like that happened with her ex, and I just said something like “We’ll be fine, we love each other so everything should be okay.” But I didn’t know and I couldn’t tell her that I didn’t know. I was so afraid that I was going to be wrong. I just had to keep telling myself “it’ll be fine, just go with the flow, take things as they come.” I wasn’t sure, but I had to keep telling myself that because there was no backing out at that point.
But the time for the trip came in September. I stayed afraid up until the moment we picked her up at the airport. What if, what if, what if. But it didn’t take me long to realize that all those fears and worries were unfounded. She was so adorably excited to see me and she gave me the biggest, tightest hug (two, actually – one was “from” one of our mutual celebrity crushes that she’d spoken to in August) and I felt so happy and all the pieces fell right into place. I don’t think I’ve ever felt as happy and in love as I did during the week we spent together. Everything just felt right, like this is exactly the way it should be.
In February I’m going to go visit her, and I’m so excited. I can’t wait until we’re stable enough to move in together and we won’t have to be long-distance anymore.
Yes, I get that, I had a weird situation earlier this year where I went to see a “good friend” and it turns out that we both wanted each other but were too cautious to say anything till a month after the trip, lol. I’m glad your relationship is working out, that’s so exciting!
I started therapy! And set boundaries. And said no to social events <3
So important to know what you need, definitely. Thanks for sharing!
I’m someone who has a lot of difficulty with orgasming and has never had one from clitoral stimulation alone. For years though, I just settled for the “lazy masturbating” of a Magic Wand through my clothes, because getting out the lube, the towels, the waterproof blanket, wearing myself out with dildos, and then washing all those felt like too much work. In 2018, I started taking the time to actually give myself G-spot orgasms, and buy more toys that work for me — largely because of reading review blogs like this one. My overall well-being has increased so much because of this- both because of the endorphin boost I’m getting, and because of the sense of self care, that I am prioritizing my own health and happiness.
YES, hurray for self-care. It’s so easy to set aside when you get busy with life craziness. Here’s to more orgasms in 2019!
I’d have to think but, if it counts, I guess what I overcame was a medical issue thats been a pain for years and I finally found a good doctor that helped. Now I don’t feel so broken.
It definitely counts! Feeling less broken is always good. Wishing you the best for 2019.
I’ve had a transformative year. Not all of the changes have been good ones, but the majority have been, and even the less effective changes have added *something* to my life. Not all progress is forward, but still may be called progress.
A big part of the year has been spent working through depression and serious self-esteem issues relating to social anxiety and a touch of sexual dysfunction. In 2016, I had all but turned off sexually, and started regaining interest because of re-engaging with people online. Talking about sex, reading about experiences of others, and re-exploring sexual stimulation has shifted me back to wanting to explore sexually, rather than wanting to wall myself off from what was often a very bitter topic. Felicity’s blog was a part if that, reopening myself to learning about toys and modes of stimulation, from someone with neither axes to grind nor asses to kiss. (you know… figuratively… heh) So, I guess, it was a grind of a year with as many challenges as boons… but at least it was movement instead of stagnation.
I appreciate you writing all this. I love how positive you are—it’s so easy to get down about all the blah in life. My sexuality was kinda repressed/on the far back burner for A LONG time, for a few reasons, and it was a struggle feeling good again. But I believe in you! Thanks so much for the kind words.
In 2018 I struggled a lot with depression and faulty medicinal side effects that made me super sleepy. Luckily I found one that worked better for me. Also I talked a lot with someone who I really wanted to be friends with and we really hit it off, which really helped me get over some bad friends. Overall, I feel better this year, but don’t know how long that’ll last tbh.
Thanks for sharing! It’s always great to meet new folks you really connect with. Wishing you all the best for 2019.
In 2018 I became more accepting of what I like sexually, and started enjoying it, letting the orgasms flow without a sense of shame afterwards at what got me off the most. I started to take it seriously because my pleasure matters and I don’t need anyone else for it, i don’t need to feel ashamed for needing a good orgasm.
I grew okay with looking at sex toys and the reviews to find the best ones for me, that fit my desires. I stopped being ashamed of wanting certain things, and I started loving those wants instead.
That’s amazing! You’re totally right, we shouldn’t have to feel ashamed about anything that makes us feel good (and doesn’t non-consensually harm others, of course). I love your new attitude, congratulations.
I learned to relax and enjoy anal sex and ass licking. Makes both of us happy and we’ve been having some of the best orgasms of our almost 18 year marriage.
Woohoo! It’s awesome that you’re finding new, fun ways to explore.
I learned that I need to be far more explicit when communicating sexual limits and interests at the beginning of a relationship. When saying something like group sex is not completely off the table but would have to be approached with extreme caution should it ever be considered, what I meant as thoroughly discussed as to why, who, etc. Apparently it was interpreted as “she said she might be into it, let me start trying to find a third and not bother her with the idea until I have someone worthy of being that person…and a great way to do that will be creating a group on a popular messaging app that I am unaware will send her a notification with my name and explicit username when I join “
I can’t agree more about communication. That does sound like a sticky situation you went through!
In 2018 I struggled a lot with depression and faulty medicinal side effects that made me super sleepy. Luckily I found one that worked better for me. Also I talked a lot with someone who I really wanted to be friends with and we really hit it off, which really helped me get over some bad friends. Overall, I feel better this year, but don’t know how long that’ll last tbh.
In 2018 I bought my first set of harness plus dildo to try pegging with my gf. It was a year full of discoveries, letting myself a bit more open to new ways of achieving pleasure and understanding what more makes me feel aroused.
Awesome! I’m all for new, fun discoveries.
I overcame nonsense by leaving a domestic violence relationship after 4 years of hell.. I’m never turning back! I found out I love myself too much for any man to treat me bad.
Wow, that’s powerful. I can’t imagine. You have an awesome attitude. Wishing you all the best, truly.
My 7 year relationship ended this year and it was truly a tower moment… but it helped me to slowly realize how that relationship was doing harm to me. I didn’t have a healthy relationship with sex or my sexuality and some things my partner was doing were abusive. I didn’t know, I was only 19 when we met.. He’s an army medic veteran with undisgnosed and untreated complex psychological and emotional wounds.. My heart truly hurts for him.. I’m now having a profound experience rebuilding my concepts of self love, sex and romance.. and trying to remember that I can’t help someone unless they want to help themselves.. and that sex can be fun and it’s actually really nice sometimes to laugh during sex and that sex can feel good and that sex doesnt have to happen at all for someone to love you..
Thank you for sharing, that’s really deep. I’m not going to claim I understand your past relationship in any way, but I also am experiencing (occasionally!) sex being fun for the first time in a LONG time, and not just so get-it-in, get-it-out, and it’s incredible, isn’t it?
Wishing you many good things for this new year.
It was hard, but I set up some boundaries with my best friend for the first time. It was becoming clear that our friendship was unbalanced with myself acting as a “therapist” more so than a friend.
On a more fun note, this past year I explored new dildo materials and learned that I love firm, unyielding toys, which if someone would have suggested this to me this a few years ago I never would have believed.
I had a hard time studying my current major and adjusting to my new uni, but I took a class that made me interested in a different major and decided to transfer to a different major. It’ll be hard, since I’m basically starting over, but it’s an improvement from dreading going to class for a major I’m not interested in at all.
Good luck with the change!
I discovered sex blogs for the first time in 2018, and fully discovered that I had been a fool to buy a cheap g-spot vibe from Amazon those years ago. I had thought that vibrators just didn’t work for me, and to be honest I felt a little broken, but sex blogs have helped me start discovering good, safe toys that make me feel things. I’m very excited to continue this journey in 2019 as I continue to try new things!!
That’s awesome! Exploring and figuring out can be such a fun journey. I’ve had that “I must not be like everyone else” kinda experience with vibes too, and it’s a huge relief to realize that really, people like all different things and it’s all good.
In 2018, I listened/read less political news and same trash. I began to walk more and breathe fresh air. I learned a lot of new things in sex-positive blogs. After reading your review I bought Coloursoft dildo. I’m fascinated by this purchase. AMAZING! Finally, I want to try some dual-density toys.
That does sound like a breath of fresh air, literally and figuratively—awesome! Sounds like a healthier way of being.
And hey, if you like the ColourSoft toys, then there’s now a dual density version (slightly squishier outer layer of silicone than ColourSoft, over a firm core)! Or, you know, go VixSkin!
Did not know that they began to produce a dual-density silicone models… Thanks! )
Yes, they’re very new! Online retailers are just starting to carry them.
In 2018, I got rid of the most toxic person in my life, I got a better job, I started dating again! My life has completely turned around from focusing on myself and learning to be a better person and try to love everybody with more patience and unexpected support. I just want to put more goodness out to work against the bad in the world.
That’s amazing, Zoë. You have a good spirit. I really appreciate all the help you’ve given me.
2018 was a pivotal year for me.
I wasn’t admitted to my university of choice and consequently I went through a pretty rough time…I kept on blaming myself for not working hard enough or not being smart enough to achieve my goals . But then I managed to convince myself that a single failure doesn’t say anything about me as a person and doesn’t have to put an end to my aspirations.
I moved and started studying at a different university, though I plan on trying to be admitted to my dream university again later this year.
Sexually, 2018 was a very explorative year for me. I bought my first dildos and the first vibrators that worked for me. I also discovered a number of sex blogs, including yours, and reading them has been really important in understanding just how varied and equally valid people’s sexualities are. Before, the things I’d read about sex seemed focused on what the majority of people with vaginas liked and when my preferences didn’t align with that I’d feel weird. Now I’m really convinced that it’s almost impossible that I’m the only person in the world to like something, and even if I was it would be perfectly okay as long as it didn’t hurt anyone.
I love the realization you came to, that nothing is really weird—and hey, if a preference is unusual (as in, the majority don’t share it), what’s wrong with that?
Wishing you all the best with finishing your degree and doing what you want to do! I think you have a good attitude.
In 2018 I finally decided I’m worth it and bought myself some sex toys. Ok, a lot of sex toys. I read all the reviews and blogs for months, trying to decide which ones to get. I don’t know that counts as overcoming something though. Oh! I know! May 2018 marked the one year anniversary of my last hospitalization for mental health. It’s been about a decade since I’ve been this stable for this long.
Congratulations on that anniversary, that’s awesome! And woohoo for giving gifts to yourself when you can. Plus thorough research, I’m all about that!
Not going to lie when I say 2018 kicked my ass, as did 2017 and 2018. I did make progress though! I’m working a semi-steady part-time job, the best I could manage to get in this town. I made new friends finally, bringing an actual social life into my life. So I’m not sure I really overcame 2018, but I sure did my best.
High-five for doing your best, and for people you can relate to. That’s more than enough. There was definitely a lot of BS I did NOT overcome in 2018 too. Thanks for sharing. 🙂
Last year I really pushed myself to do things that seemed terrifying at first, but ended up being completely harmless (like actually commenting on the Internet!?). I’m a wildly anxious person, so the origin of the nonsense came from within, you see. I’m still working on being less of a chicken! :,)
Oh yeah, I get that, I’m definitely an introvert and I second-guess way too much! Wishing you the best with being who you want to be ☺
Thanks to your blog (& some others), I became much more aware of sex toy material safety – and decided to make that our first criterion when shopping for toys. So I guess the BS I overcame was the marketing how from the less reputable companies.
Awesome! I get that, it’s hard to sort out the BS from the genuinely quality toys.
1) I finally came to the realization that my first sexual encounter wasn’t really consensual and that the ensuing first significant other i gained and lost… wasn’t much of a gain. I would say it was something close to an Aziz Ansari situation. I’m someone who wants to believe I’m always growing, and so I spin every bad situation as something good. Because I’ve grown up to believe that pain accompanies growth, but you know what, sometimes pain is just pain! And not good for anything! So that was kind of hard for me to overcome, but I’m getting there.
2) I told myself what was up! I can be so self-deprecating, and these past few years have been an endless cycle of it. Somehow I think i’m starting to finally quiet that inner critic.
3) I bought my first sex toys, and I’m about to buy my first silicone dildo! Right now my small collection consists of: iroha minamo, NJoy Fun wand, and the Je Joue mimi soft. Pretty gentle selection right? I don’t think I’ll ever be a size queen, but I would like to try for something a little more adventurous. Not sure what yet!
I’m sorry to hear about what happened to you. But your positive attitude is amazing, and it’s amazing that you’re learning to not be too self-critical. (That’s *hard*, I know.)
And hey, nothing wrong with gentle as long as you’re having fun! Those are quality toys. 🙂 Hope whatever new purchases you make this year work out great for your body!
In 2018 I learned not to shame myself for how my body looks or my sexual needs. It was a long up hill battle and I came out the victor.
Woohoo! That’s huge.
So many unfortunate things seem to have happened in 2018. I encountered some roadblocks with my health that I didn’t expect to overcome, a class that I was certain I would fail, and the loss of somebody I really thought I would have more time with.
I don’t really feel like I can say I completely dealt with the portions that happened to me, but I feel very confident that I helped my friends through 2018. I helped my partner get independence from her abusive surroundings, I supported my roommates when life threw terrible scenarios at their doorstep, gave my car to my folks when a crane landed on theirs, and was an excellent Christmas gifter.
I feel like I’m growing into somebody who can be constructive with things that are thrown at me. 2018 helped me be realistic, and I dealt with it by helping as much as I can.
That’s beautiful. Thanks for sharing 🙂
Thank you! 🙂
It’s incredible that you’ve replied to so many of these sincere comments. Thanks for putting all this together!
You’re welcome! I think it’s only fair to respond. I’ve been really inspired by the positive vibes that a lot of people have shared here.
Hello,
Is there any winner of the giveaway?
Or maybe we are participating in data collection, and the sex toys to be won here are virtual?
I value trust, and actually situation when giveaway winner is not published (simply name, and country) is not acceptable.
Sir, when you have your own review site and a host of other responsibilities in life (like children and trying to make an income because sex blogging isn’t a full-time job), then you can publish your giveaway winner roundup within 48 hours after the contest ends. Believe it or not, it sometimes takes winners a few days to respond because they have lives too.
Hello. So who is the winner of giveaway?
Is there any winner. I’m pretty sure the information should be published. Otherwise it smells like a scam.