8 Sex Toy MISTAKES – From Toxic to Dizzying, Pleasure Gone Wrong!

Uh-oh. What if—while trying to find a pleasure object—you end up falling into 1 of the 8 most common sex toy mistakes? Over the years I’ve first (1) made multiple of these mistakes myself and (2) read hundreds of similar stories of bad toy purchases.

The biggest errors you can make in sex toy buying are, sadly, because too many sex toy sellers don’t care about customers’ long-term well-being, only about selling you a vibrator now: As happens with shops selling jelly rabbits and stinky PVC dildos.

These mega-mistakes aren’t buying a sex toy others find cringeworthy: like a scorpion-shaped grinder or a scaly snake dildo. (Both of which are legit products in Hankey’s Toys fantasy section!) Instead, the following f*ckups revolve around hazardous toys, unusable vibrators, and damaging dildos. Collected from my 12 years buying and 7 years reviewing sex toys, let’s run through frequent sex toy errors:

1. Porous & toxic sex toy mistakes.

Sex toy materials are unregulated, and many toys are still made of porous materials—that harbor bacteria & fungi. The worst: PVC dildos that smell like a shower curtain, leaching plasticizers and chlorine. They’re still widely available at brick-n-mortar sex toy shops!

You can do better: Stick to silicone only, if you want a yielding sex toy. Platinum silicone is the only functionally nonporous material that can be soft & fleshy, yet remain safe for decades. Or, if you like firm pressure: Shatterproof glass dildos are safe, as is 316 medical grade stainless steel like the Pure Wand by Njoy!

2. Lost charging cords!

Vibrators almost always use proprietary charging cables, and you have to use the right one from the toy’s manufacturer or risk either (1) the vibrator not charging, or (2) frying the vibrator motor.

To avoid losing your cord:

• Keep it stored along with your vibrator, either in a bag (cloth or plastic is fine on silicone) or in the original packaging
• Or get a label-maker and custom-brand each charging cable!
• A couple brands—Fun Factory and We-Vibe use only 1 cable for all their new toys, and BMS custom-tags each vibrator they make—help.

Some newer vibrators now use USB-C (a new universal charging standard??), but, an error I made just last month was assuming that all USB-C cords are interchangeable. NOPE. Apple iPhone 16+ adapters & cables don’t charge some electronics that use a USB-C port, including my laptop and my PalmPower Extreme vibrator.

3. Uh-oh, vanishing butt plug!

This sex toy mistake is one I’ve read lots about people experiencing:

The rectum is a vacuum that can suck objects up inside, making removal tricky or even impossible (especially if you panic). Emergency room medical staff have tales to tell about anal over-insertion “accidents” where someone came in reporting he’d “slipped and fell” on whatever household object, and then couldn’t remove his toy mistake from his rectum himself.

The error here is not using only flared based butt plugs & flared suction cup dildos. A T-bar base, anchor base, Aneros base, or good round base will 100% ensure that your anal toy doesn’t get stuck inside.

4. Too BIG: Size does matter.

Look at sex toy dimensions before buying, to avoid this frequent blunder! It’s super-common if you’re dildo-shopping online.

Absolutely a sex toy error I made when I was new to fantasy dildos. I was into pretty-wide toys, about 2″ diameter: But then I came across an “alien” dildo I thought looked nifty, and got it. OOP. Its head felt like a fist 🤜 the first time I tried getting it in, no bueno.

Extreme stretching toys require more prep, and a certain amount of dedication to be able to insert safely: more of your time. Eventually (sessions later) I managed the fisting alien dildo, but never truly enjoyed the shape.

We all have specific preferences for how big insertable sex toys should be, so all you gotta do is consider whether you want average, slimmer, or what degree of “above-average”! The best realistic dildos I’ve found to help avoid this mistake:

• Neo Elite 7.5″ w/ Balls is exactly median penis size, at 1.5 inches diameter by 5.5 inches insertable shaft length.
• Or, if you’re new to penetration (anal or vaginal), then the Neo Elite 6″ Tapered segues from only 1 inch wide up to a slim 1.25 inch diameter! IMO the best first-time dildo out there, if you aren’t experienced with thrusting sex.

5. Rabbits that don’t fit ur clit.

Oh NO, indeed. This was my own very first vibrator-related sex toy mistake. I paid like $10 for a jelly “butterfly kiss” vibrator because I was trying to get a satisfying product for cheap! (I later learned that good vibrators start appearing in the $30 to $50 price-range.) This thing sucked. The butterfly poked, didn’t fit me right, and the vibrator motor was fatally weak.

Rabbit vibrator fit issues aren’t uncommon: the problem is, you’re trying to stimulate two awesome pleasure points simultaneously, but not everyone’s spaced the same. Some folks have a lot more (or less) distance between their clit’s sweet spot and where they like G-spot stimulation vaginally:

But, rabbit vibrators are usually made to fit the “average.” As someone who’s decidely not average, the We-Vibe Nova is the only rabbit that’s lined up well for me and I’ve consistently enjoyed over the years: because of its one-of-a-kind curling clit stimulator (seen here, lots of flexibility!!!).

6. Unsafe lubricant, too.😭

Lubricants can mess with protective cells in the rectum and vagina, deplete good bacteria in extreme cases, and thus interfere with vaginal pH balance!

The worst offenders are very “hyperosmotic,” meaning they force your cells to push out water & shrivel up, because these unsafe lubricants are so much denser than your cells’ natural osmolality (fluid concentration).

Glycerin and propylene glycol are ingredients to avoid in water-based lubricants (unless they fall under 2% concentration and a maker specifically states the osmolality level), as is propanediol — which is the new propylene glycol.

These days, I stick to Sliquid H2O with some Sliquid Silk mixed in for faster penetration, because I don’t want my vagina’s microbiome thrown out of whack again.

7. Strongest vibrator ≠ the best beginner toy.

This sex toy error’s based on one toy: the Magic Wand Original. The legendary “Hitachi” plug-in has only two speeds, commonly called “Fuck” and “HOLY FUCK,” meaning they’re strong and really STRONG.

The Magic Wand Rechargeable is much better-balanced vs. the original Wand, with two lower & gentler speeds:

But it costs more. So, often, new toy buyers will jump for the cheaper Magic Wand and then be surprised when it’s powerful to the point of being excessive and not fun for them—even ruining their opinion of all Magic Wands (which vary a lot in how strong they are).

For beginner vibrators, I suggest toys with a wider speed range and a lower first intensity level than the Original Hitachis.

8. Don’t forget to power down ur F-machine dial!

A dizzying dildo-machine machine mistake that could turn painful, or be a definite toy faux-pas if you’re controlling for a partner!

It’s obsolete for new Hismith Premium sex machine purchases: but the twist-dial controllers for machines purchases 2021 and earlier let you turn off the controller while its knob was not at “0” (no motion).

So, when you turned the controller back on, if you’d been at 50 / 100 or wherever, it would immediately start thrusting at a fast speed.

With no warmup! That can hurt!

Now, they’ve revamped the controller so it’s electronic and always starts at zero: But some of us remember those “WHOA” accidental fast starts 🫨 due to our own negligence, lol.

How to Shop Smart & Avoid Sex Toy Mistakes

The best ways to avoid sex toy buying mistakes:

Be aware of unsafe materials — and that not all manufacturers have your sexual health as their driving purpose.

Shop with trustworthy retailers who do label their products clearly or who only sell body-safe (as with Peepshow Toys).

Keep your vibrator cords labeled / stored so they don’t get mixed up or lost! Some manufacturers sell separate cords, but most don’t, so this storage sex toy mistake could make your vibrator dead, permanently.

Know your size limits for insertable vibrators, dildos, and butt plugs: Measure with a soft tape measure across your fingers before purchasing, if you’re unsure. Trustworthy retailers typically will not accept returned toys, so a $2 tape measure will save you grief there, in re how large a toy is:

Also, look at the included dimensions for an insertable toy before purchasing, so you know! Especially true of dildos or butt plug series, which tend to get much more massive vs. standard clitoral or vaginal vibrators.

Buy only anal toys with flared bases!

And last, don’t be surprised if finding the best toy for you takes a few purchases and some thoughtful exploration of your body!

I hope you avoid my sex toy mistakes, and have a whole lotta fun 🌞