Alien Dildo Probing Guide – Anal & Vaginal Favorites

R u up for an alien invasion tonight??! After I got a small ship…ment full of alien dildos lately 📦👽👽, and was blown away by how stellar riding one of ’em is for me, I was then surprised to see:

Aliens are underrepresented among fantasy sex toys. Just look at the sheer number of dragon dildos and tentacle toys that exist in comparison!

Since I enjoyed two of my newfound alien friends so much (yassssss), I’ve compiled a mini-guide! All alien dildos listed here are platinum-cured silicone: 100% handmade fantasy dildos, since I’ve experienced some serious mediocrity when testing mass-produced-in-China fantasy toys thus far.

Choose your shape: alien sex toys are all about imagination, so any and all non-human textures can fit into their silicone shafts!

Top 5 Alien Dildos, for Different Purposes

These are our top choices for extraterrestial dildos so far:

• Damn Alien & Big Damn Alien: Triple-massage G-spot dildo. Good as an intro fantasy toy, since it’s smooth besides the 3× ripple. The best to ride up-and-down on.
• Uberrime Machina: Bio-mechanical alien probe. We 🖤 the ribbing for lower anal massage.
• Aliter: The knot expands the most-sensitive nerve endings, at the bottom of the toy’s shaft. Girthy bulge + strong hooked bulb: for me, an A-spot probe (deeper, behind the G-spot). The symmetrical waves on the expanding knot look sexy.
• Alien eggs + dildo. Alien egg laying, what’s up? This is fun to do with a partner who helps lube up the eggs, then get them inside you, then you can sit and “brood” on them, or push them out.
• Hankey’s Alien Breeder: For the most intense alien domination fantasy. Super-textured and big. Use plenty of lube, or the front “mech” side will be draggy amidst thrusting.

Why choose an “alien” fantasy dildo?

• More texture. For me, these textured dildos are ideal at certain PMS-surrounding days, when I’m looking for vaginal stimulation that’s more than smooth or life-like, to get me to orgasm faster. More bumpity-bump (extra sets of ridges, or more dramatic flowing lines) does the trick! (Remember to warm up with a clit stimulator, or use a vibrator simultaneously with your dildo, if you are playing vaginally.)
• Non-realistic. It’s very valid to either not be attracted to silicone phalluses (=you think the disembodied look is odd), or to avoid penises in general. Fantasy toys like these alien dildos are one genre of non-representational, non-humanoid dildo.
• Bad-ass colors. Indie-made, artisan silicone dildos can truly be a treat for the eyes, too. Hardworking dongsmiths blend many pigment colors into the 2-parts of platinum silicone. Depending on their technique and speed for pouring, they can get a wild array of “feathering” as the silicone colors “marble,” forming organic swirls and ripples.
• Fantasy = mental imagery. You think a good “probed by aliens” scene can be sexy—why not??

Now, how damn lucky I am to own this Big Damn Alien that’s like the coolest marble-job in my big dildo collection:

My Favorite Alien Dildo – Stellar for G-Spot

I love the BIG Damn Alien by Uberrime the most of all my fantasy dildos now. Why is that? It’s the ridges: A good strong ridge (or bulb) is essential to G-spot stimulation, and this extraterrestial dildo 😉 has not one, not two, but three! separate rows.

🚩Size matters: The Big Damn Alien dildo is girthy, especially at the final of the “triple-ripples” = 2.1″ diameter. If you aren’t sure you like it thick, the “Damn Alien” Dildo is the same shape, but 0.67″ diameter less.

That means it gives more consistent G-spot stimulation if I’m riding 2–3 inches up-and-down, up-and-down: There’s always one ridge in my G-zone. Riding up and down on it is fantastic. And looking at how extraordinary the colors look: amazeballs. This is a 3-color: Luster Glitter for the base, NOLA purple, glittery gold.

Each ridge consists of 2 smooth beads, which I’m interpreting as a set of friendly boobs, offered by a friendly pleasure-loving alien species, because why not 🥳

This silicone E.T. dildo is a revamped version of the original “Above Average Alien” by Damn Average (another indie shop, now defunct), whose creator now designs for Uberrime Dildos.

Textured Alien Dildos – They Come to Conquer?!

Alien dildos include some of the most detailed textures: Often abounding in extra geometric shapes. One sub-genre is “bio-mechanical” alien toys, which are meant as a synthesis between 1) organic life and 2) synthetic creatures, like robots or machines.

• The Machina by Uberrime is 10/10 the coolest alien probe visually, IMO: “H.R. Giger Inspired Design by Kat… intricate details from the tip to the base with flared bits, repetitive ribs along the shaft … which land [it] firmly in the Alien category.” We like this one better as an anal probe, as the ribs are really well-done. They will stimulate your anus + sphincter muscles as you thrust the dildo, gently.
• The Uberrime Miksko is more my speed vaginally. Its retracted-foreskin look’s made less-human by a ton of gnarly, dominating circles. My #2 fave. The trick: You gotta turn the balls side so it’s clitorally facing. The hyper-drive-textured front side is better rubbing my less-sensitive posterior vaginal wall, as the Miksko’s prominent raphe impacts my G-spot smoothly, and the balls hit my clit: 5 inches shaft length is perfect for clit-thumping during penetration!

• Hankey’s Toys has the “Alien Breeder,” which is bio-mech “xenomorph” texture overload on one side, vs. completely smooth on the other side. Strong rec: Go with the softest silicone density, 40%.
• Uberrime’s Xymek is, similarly, an robo-alien: Uberrime’s most textured “wow” bumpy kinda toy. It is a lot. Compare all Uberrime’s “alien” toys here—with Damn Average’s influence, they’re the most alien-overrun fantasy maker, love it.
• Uncover C’s “The Void” definitely looks like an alien cobra dildo. Sssss!

Aliter Knotted Toy

Uberrime Aliter is a deep-probing head with a thick knot. It’s an A-spot dildo if I’ve ever owned one. For my vag, it goes all in there, to the deepest frontal area.

The ribs and rises on the knot feel more striking than I expected from the soft silicone: this alien expanse is designed to be noticed!

I’m separating Aliter from the textured alien dildos because it’s more streamlined. I’m into the alien groove writing this, so I’d call it a “Predator-lite” look: just threatening enough, but no creepy spikes or mech ribs or anything.

Other Fantasy Alien Sex Toys

Alien Ovipositor = egg-laying dildo, by Uncover Creations. Includes 3 “alien eggs” with cool spiral twist. They also have smoother alien eggs. Here’s more about egg-laying toys based on trying another fantasy ovipositor.

Strange Bedfellas has “Nellen” the alien, with highly-textured egg sets; and a dual-probe dildo with feelers plus what could be a clitoral grinding surface.

Cheap Creature Alien Dildos

The indie-made super-soft silicone dildos here are definitely the highest-quality. They’re handmade art: which does make them more expensive vs. mass-produced toys.

Some mass-producers are using 3 to 5A durometer liquid silicones, which structurally are safe enough, but don’t squish and feel as supple as super-soft silicone dildos. I would ask you to consider the (alleged) design theft by Creature Cocks / XR Brands before purchasing any of those cheap dildos.

If you are wanting a fantasy toy for a low cost, and you don’t care that the silicone is a bit firmer, then I’d say to check out CalExotics’ Monster Dongs line: ⬆️ this is one example, the Colossus for $29.99: it is a LARGE sex toy. It has so much texture that in the firmer silicone, it’s overwhelming for me personally, but YMMV.

Deep-Space Vaginal Plug

The Asteroid V-plug by Pris Toys has to live in this post, due to its space-themed name. It is poured in a firmer silicone vs. every other toy here, and versus other vaginal plugs — even harder than if you choose the 8A “medium soft” durometer silicone over at Uberrime. With Pris’ 10A-shore Asteroid, the intent is that you’ll feel the complex surface pattern better, while just wearing this vagina plug around.

All-Silicone Alien Dildos

Everyone alien toy here is made of platinum-cured silicone. It’s the only safe sex toy material that can be soft, too: Other body-safe materials are metal, glass, and hard ABS plastic. Only silicone dildos are both safe and squishy, if u go for a super-soft silicone density! (Silicone can be harder, too, it all depends on the blend.)

Cured silicone is the best soft sex toy substance because of its tight cross-linked molecular structure. It has micro-pores that are smaller than viruses and bacteria (but may allow teeny-tiny odor molecules temporary ingress).

Silicone can be highly textured, and silicone always has surface marks and indents, yet remains totally safe to continue using. Why? Because it’s not safe as a result of having a perfectly smooth surface—it’s safe because of the silicone’s chemically inert structure all throughout the entire silicone toy. This makes cleaning easier:

Care & Cleaning

To clean a fantasy sex toy like any of these galactic dildos, you need:

1. Soap. This means any soap or detergent. Do not go out and buy “antibacterial” soap for cleaning sex toys. Literally every soap is antibacterial when it’s made into a lather including water. (“Soap micelles,” explained.)
2. Water. Running water preferred. It just needs to mix with the soap or detergent. Scrub the dildo down with soap for about a minute. If it’s got a lotta indented recesses, try to scrub around those. If you miss some lube or whatever, it’s not a big deal—it’ll dry white, and you can just wash it off before you use the dildo the next time.

You do not need extra cleaning agents, nor do you need any sex toy cleaner for safety, when using only body-safe toys. The only exceptions where you might want even more microbicidal boost, is if you’re consensually changing a toy between two people who aren’t fluid-bonded; if you’ve had a recent history of yeast infection or BV, or other gynecological or anal infection; or if you’re wanting to employ an anally-used toy for vaginal use afterward. In those cases, see how to more deeply sanitize a body-safe sex toy.

How Can You Use an Alien Dildo?

Friendly E.T. versus threatening Predator? Alien sex toys are fun to feel, but can also give you a mental image, if you like:

Are you being pampered by peace+pleasure-seeking aliens from a more developed world than ours? Dream of meeting them at Risa, or whatever pleasure planet u can imagine. 😄

Or are you being invaded, probed, studied for science? In that case, you definitely need to go with your alien dildo into a dark room. Bonus points for sudden twinkling lights / a bright flashlight beam suddenly being added to your alien fantasy.

There is no wrong answer, and you also can just not care about alien probe fantasies—but still enjoy textured toys purely for the distinct and interesting sensations.

Have fun!!! 🛸👽✌️