Safer than Life: 6 Serious Reasons why Silicone Dildos Beat Stranger Sex

A great silicone dildo is the essential realistic sex toy. The best ones have a soft skin + a hard core to better imitate life. And critically, silicone doesn’t leach chemicals like cheap-o dildos do.

That’s huge already, but have you ever thought about how silicone’s anti-bacterial nature makes it safer than human skin, too?

This is not an anti-penis post, as there are some excellent guys & humans out there. And stable, supportive human relationships are insanely important.

But, it is a list of important factoids to consider before hopping into bed with a casual partner. For my all my single ladies out there, and any couples who’re considering diving into swinging or poly or nonmonogamy: Is a short thrill worth untellable future suffering?

Silicone Is Chemically Inert = Bacteria-Free & Germ-Free. Human Penises, in contrast, retain microbes and can transmit infection.

Vaginal health depends on what bacteria live inside any given vagina (its microbiome). If you got the good probiotic germs naturally (Lactobacillus crispatus is strongest!), then you want to keep them – never let them go, cuz you can end up in a world of pain from recurring bacterial vaginosis (=BV) when you get taken over by the bad germs. That sh*t hurts; and antibiotics, the recommended treatment, don’t effectively cure it long-term.

Read: “Penis Microbes May Contribute to a Common yet Serious Vaginal Infection.”

Every new sex partner increases risk of vaginal infection, but it’s riskiest to take a new partner who has a high lifetime number or partners, or who has been recently active with 5+ other people.

Wearing condoms during sex with a casual partner cuts down on the risk of both bacterial (BV) and STI transmission, but it is not a safety guarantee. First, the condom needs to fit well. Certain penis shapes (tapered outward) naturally cause the condom to roll downward as the dick thrusts; while other guys need wider condoms but have never bothered to realize that, so it rolls off; or their penis tip is too small for the condom so it slips off when you use lubricant during sex.

Second, almost no one uses dental dams or latex underwear while receiving oral sex, and mouths also carry both bacteria and human papillomavirus (HPV), next:

2. Silicone Also Will Not Give You Cancer or Warts.

Human dicks and mouth frequently carry HPV, a virus that directly causes:

• cervical and uterine cancers in women (HPV-16, HPV-18, HPV-45 and more),
• or genital warts (HPV-6, HPV-11).

HPV is often but not always cleared by the immune system, is found both orally and genitally, and is commonly carried within the penis’ mucosa. (The penis has a microbiome, too, and can retain bacteria, yeast, and viruses.)

In lingering cases of HPV-16 & other cancer-causing strains, the virus will develop into cervical cancer and/or uterine cancer 5+ years post-infection.

You can get vaccinated against HPV if you were not as a young adult already, via a series of 3 injections for anyone 15–44 years old; and you should do so if you’re taking any new sex partners since this virus is so common, yet THERE ARE NO STI TESTS THAT TEST MEN / penises FOR HPV. That’s bananas. No full panel STI tests include HPV testing, either (though you can buy mail-in swab tests separately online now, for vaginas only).

Read: “Estimated prevalence and incidence of disease-associated HPV types…” (2023); and “Human papilloma virus,” at the Office on Women’s Health.

3. Silicone Dildos Of Course Won’t Get You Pregnant Accidentally.

It’s obvious that a dildo can’t ejaculate and get anyone pregnant, but also deadly serious:

Maternal mortality (deaths due to pregnancy & childbirth) has risen 62% in Southern & red states since our religious-zealot-instated Supreme Court, super-charged by the Trump White House, overturned the privacy and health protections of Roe v. Wade. Abortion bans kill or seriously injure pregnant women who suffer miscarriages and then develop blood poisoning (sepsis) as a result of medical doctors being afraid to offer what’s previously been standard medical care (a D&C) for fifty years before this.

Read: “Maternal death rates were 62 percent higher in 2020 in abortion-restriction states than in abortion-access states (28.8 vs. 17.8 per 100,000 births). Notably, across the three years presented in Exhibit 4, the maternal mortality rate was increasing nearly twice as fast in states with abortion restrictions.” “U.S. Maternal Health Divide.”

You should be safer here if you live in an abortion access / blue state. But really, if you’re not wanting to have (more) children, it’s easier just to not risk a fuckup. Did you know that 1 of every 333 women who takes birth control pills perfectly still will get pregnant every year? A 99.7% success rate sounds high, until you’re in the 0.3% who get accidentally pregnant. And with typical use (you’re a few hours late to take the pill sometimes, or you forget an active-pill day occasionally), 9 out of every 100 women on birth control gets pregnant in a year: that’s almost one out of every ten.

They claim IUDs are more effective – unless you’re like me and your IUD dislodges itself the first time you ovulate after placement, in which case you think that statistic feels cruel too. Thus, I choose my fave realistic dildos and Sliquid Silk over any semen anywhere near my vag, because I know exactly how expensive and how time-consuming kiddos are. I chose my children, but I do not need more than two.

4. Silicone Dildos Can Be ANY Size or Firmness You Want.

Some dicks just don’t fit some vaginas well. That’s the truth. Any particular vag. may have a preference for smaller vs. thicc’er, big head vs. small tapered tip, deep vs. short.

And even if you think a human being is awesome and smart and worthwhile personality-wise, sometimes their penis won’t match your preferences.

This is most commonly a prob. for folks with vaginismus, many of who’ve survived previous vaginal trauma, causing them to tense up even with safe encounters, now. They can learn to stretch slowly and gently over time, but these folks are less likely to want large dicks.

My problem tends to be the opposite, where I need a penis that’s thicker than 99% of the population to be satisfied, after I had one thicc-dicked partner who I truly loved and wanted to stay with.

So, enter the silicone dildo array, in which you can find options from smol to HUUUUGE, in platinum silicone too, easier than ever.

Platinum cured silicone is also the only functionally nonporous material that can be soft – or very hard: it’s available in a wide range of densities.

5. Silicone Dildos are Always Ready, and Never Go Soft.

Yes, they’re objects. Brainless, so they aren’t affected by stress or different states of arousal. They can’t only last for a limited period of time.

Again, this is not to diss men, nor should it be taken to read that ED is shameful – you should not be embarrassed about any genital dysfunction. That’s life, it happens as guys age or are tense, and it’s OK. Very normal. I wouldn’t leave a partner I loved if he developed ED.

Instead, we have work-arounds: a dildo will be ready as a sure-fire addition to the bedroom, whenever needed. And a great sex machine is the way for Energizer-Bunny-level endurance.

Performance anxiety definitely happens with new encounters, whereas silicone dildos – which cannot spontaneously change their firmness – will always remain consistent.

6. Silicone Dildos Don’t Abuse Anyone, Full Stop.

❗Warning: Sexual Assault Discussion. ❗

If you’re thinking of taking a new partner, caution is important – especially if anyone has been drinking heavily, or if you don’t know the person well, it’s wise to not trust them. Or sometimes, even if you do think you know them well…until.

Statistics show that over 20% of women will survive some form of sexual assault in their lifetime, and bisexual men are also statistically more likely to experience sexual violence.

Most SA incidents are not reported, either because the survivors fear retribution or (very commonly) blame themselves for the assault. Women are easily blamed for everything from “being too easy” to “not speaking up” even when they clearly said no – or “why didn’t you report it?” later if they’re too shocked to file a police report. This is true of every situation from forceful assault by a stranger to “stealthing,” where the sex was at first consensual, and both partners agreed to condom usage, but the male partner later removes it at some later point nonconsensually. You blame yourself, even though it was not your fault.

Do you need support? Seeking help is an act of strength. See the NSVRC’s help and support page, which includes a link to a supportive online chat for survivors or a help line at 1-800-656-4673.

Dildos, of course, are not going to act independently and decide that they know better than you about what you want happening to your body.

How to Make a Dildo Feel More Lifelike

Dildos will never replace supportive, caring human relationships. Instead, they are tools we can use – whether we’re single or in a relationship – to have more safe fun, whenever we want.

Here are a couple tips and tricks I’ve seen favorited for making a realistic dildo more true-to-life feeling, with emphasis on #2:

1. Choose a dual-density silicone dildo (for vaginal especially) or a super-soft silicone dildo (for anal especially). I find dual-layer much more realistic for vaginal, especially Solina Megas XL & XXL, since like an erection, they don’t bend much, and still have the skin-soft silicone outside. In contrast, super-soft silicones (Hankey’s 30% Soft, SquarePeg’s SuperSoft) flex a lot more in the lower shaft, but feel very realistic to some people and are awesome for comfy anal penetration.
2. Warm it up beforehand. Either run the dildo under warm water for a minute or two, or heat it up in a pot on the stove. Always double-check the temperature: if boiling, remember the dildo will remain too hot to handle for minutes and you need silicone kitchen gear (like a couple silicone spatulas) to safely remove it from the heated water.
3. Make sure the dildo is lightly lubricated. This minimizes excess drag or friction, and is most needed when the dildo is larger or highly textured. No shame in needing lube, anytime! Just pick a safely balanced lubricant, and try to avoid ones with glycerin, propylene glycol and more propanediol, which damage the top layers of vaginal lining.
4. Ride the dildo on a mount setup, where you lean forward on a pillow that imitates a torso below you.

You’ve got this. Buy all Body-Safe Silicone, and enjoy exploring different toys with different feels if possible. Non-vibrating dildos rock for realism (penises don’t vibrate!), but awesome silicone vibrators are worth checking out, too.

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