Review, Goliath Dildo by Mr. Hankey’s: I Rode a Giant Sex Toy

Mr. Hankey's Toys Goliath dildo LG/XL monster vs. arm

The Goliath dildo is giant…but I set out to conquer it, to fit it inside me and then RIDE it. An epic feat, since Mr. Hankey’s Toys’ Goliath is above and beyond, even in very soft silicone.

So, do you like it extreme? (And realistic-looking, too?) If so, then this HUGE Mr. Hankey dildo is worth taking on. I love a good challenge…so I set out on my own Goliath dildo journey. I chose the new LG/XL size, which is dwarfed by the original 4XL Goliath!

This is a sensational review (with written Goliath dildo porn!)—because hell, taking a giganto-dildo is always a dramatic event. Even if you have experience with *LORGE* insertion (which you absolutely should if you’re tackling this toy!), getting ready for the Goliath dildo’s thickness is an adventure in itself. I’ll talk about caution when using big sex toys and the stretching process too.

A BIG Uncut Dick: Goliath’s Features

First, the basics: Like all Mr. Hankey’s Toys, Goliath is handmade of pure platinum-cure silicone. This is super-important for health reasons, as cheaper big dildos are usually PVC/vinyl—which leaches chlorine, and possibly phthalates, and who knows what else that’s not good for the rectal or vaginal mucosa. (Not to mention the colon.)1

Mr. Hankey's Toys big uncut cock dildo lineup Phallophile Reviews

Goliath has a fat, broad head that’s just barely tapered at the top. Goliath is 100% a “big uncut dick,” with its foreskin being uncircumcised and unretracted—and thick to match. As noted in My Experience below, it reminds me of Bad Dragon’s Flint dildo proportionally, except: Goliath doesn’t have the big plates down the back (thankfully! I like Goliath’s smoothness in this huge size), and Goliath has a flatter head with slightly less curve. Thumbs up for both these things.

The Goliath dildo’s shaft is like a mound of curved flesh; soft, yet imposing even in this 75% Soft density. (I can easily understand wanting to go to the 00-30 [ask for “30% Soft”] Shore density with Goliath. The thicker a toy is, the firmer it will feel, even in super-soft silicones.) And it’s slicker, has less “skin feel,” than Hankey’s Toys’ realistic lifecasts. Meaning that it sliiiides extra-well when lubed nicely.

Please do know that taking a dildo this large is an extreme sport. It requires practice, practice, practice, to get to expert level. Read more on that in my stretching advice, after what I’ve experienced with Goliath…

My Experience: Goliath Dildo Porn, Written Form

I rode Goliath—until I felt high, and I couldn’t tell whether the giant dildo was owning me or I was owning it. (Maybe both.) It took me a while to get there, too…

Goliath’s head: it is huge in itself. And this is the LG/XL size—the smallest one, 4.5 inches less circumference than the original (4XL) size.

They say LG/XL’s head is 8.75 inches around. What does that mean? Let’s see:

Taking the head is a journey for me. The foreskin, fully extended up, beckons me onward. Even in this LG/XL size (the smallest currently available!) Goliath’s glans reminds me of a fist.

I’m stretching, stretching… to get Goliath’s monster cock head in.

As much as I’d studied the specs and knew how big the thing was, pulling my Goliath dildo out of its box was a WHOA moment. I saw it packed neatly in the shrink-wrap, saw the SIZE in real life. Goliath wasn’t abstract anymore, it was a huge mass of silicone in my arms.

“I don’t know whether I’m gonna fit this in…”

But I love pushing the limits, so I took Goliath along with me into the bathtub2 too, after testing Chorizo n Eggs… I just wanted to play with the top of Goliath’s head to start. And I wasn’t ready that time, not at all. My vag was NOT in the mood for so much.

A week later, I pulled out a wide range of smaller dildos, working my way up… And I got Goliath in.

It was strange at first. I stopped about five times when the “odd” feeling turned to discomfort. But it was in, head first. How deep could I go?

📖 NOTE: I am taking this monster dildo vaginally, since my particular anatomy makes that hole feel easier to stretch, and more satisfying. Many size fans will be doing it anally, and many Mr. Hankey’s Toys (the LONG ones like Firehose especially) definitely feel anal-geared. With any hole, you will be seriously exercising your pelvic floor muscles and will need to know how achieve that stretch safely.

This is a typical session with me & the Hankey’s Toys Goliath dildo:

Mr. Hankey’s Chorizo n Eggs is out first. It’s “small,” at over 2 inches wide, and slips in easily for me (with lube, of course). I let it vibrate for 5 minutes, bullet vibrator in its base…feeling the thickness and letting myself get turned on and relaxed. I try small Bad Dragon Flint next… but its size is practically demure compared to what’s next. Deeper, please.

Nick Capra comes next, soft and oh-so-fleshy in the porn star’s original size. I usually abstain from the last inch of Capra’s shaft, but I’m all in, tonight. I can’t help but wonder how the actual human being lives with this much cock in his pants at all times. Capra’s fat lower shaft is making me feel *spread* already…but I’m gonna need a lot more to fit in Goliath’s bulk.

Mr. Hankey's Toys Goliath dildo sizing up progression, Mr. Hankey's Toys Chorizo n Eggs, Bad Dragon Flint small, Mr. Hankey's Toys Nick Capra, Tantus XL Fist Trainer
Stretching my opening out, all lubed up, on a towel IDGAF about. From left to right: Hankey’s Chorizo n Eggs small, BD Flint small, Hankey’s Nick Capra original, Tantus Fist Trainer…and Goliath, *bam*.

Now I’m getting big—I move on to the Tantus Fist Trainer and realize I’m going to need more slide. The oil lube comes out; the Tantus Super Soft is too draggy otherwise, at this size. I almost have Fist Trainer in, once, twice, but that last bump of the “flattened knuckles” is catching. Refusing to proceed. Five minutes of slowly easing Fist Trainer in, and it goes. It’s intense, though I’m not 100% sure I like the shape.

What I do like, is a good realistic dick. My giant awaits… now slathered in oil based lube.

Goliath’s head is slightly oval: flatter in front (left to right), less thick from front to back. So I turn the Hankey’s Toys Goliath 90 degrees sideways. The tip is in, and I actually feel that foreskin line on top. Moving father, the first inch in—and I feel stuck. I add even more lube.

Mr. Hankey's Toys Goliath dildo head angle lemons
Sideways, at this angle. (For reference, the lemons are each just over 2 inches wide, 3 inches long.)

Something shifts, dramatically, as the Goliath dildo’s head slides in. It’s found a place, residing sideways in my lower vagina. The movement felt great.

But I think of people actually riding Hankey’s Toys, stretched what looks like impossibly…

So I make a video, for my lover. He’s a thousand miles away, probably sleeping. But it’s midnight in my bedroom, and I’m getting *spread* more than any toy ever has opened me up.

I’m laughing, because aren’t huge dildos hilarious?! Lookit, I got this one’s head in! And I watch myself…this is impressive.

Then I’m turning Goliath’s head around, seeing if my hole will accommodate the full breadth of its head. Its subtle ridge, firmly erect even in 75% Soft—it’s making Capra original in the same density feel flaccid.

It’s a good night to explore, I think. Goliath’s backwards in my pussy now, and I do want to ride, oh so gently. The massive base, those giganto-balls, are designed to hold Goliath down with their extra weight. At 4 lbs., 5 oz., it’s a not a dildo you thrust by hand.3

My hands are resting in the balls now, slicked up with grease. Before I’d had to stop and find the oldest towel, one that can be stained. Soon I’ll move into the bathtub. To get really wet.

Mr.-Hankeys-Toys-Goliath-dildo-balls-base
It gets a lot greasier than this.

Goliath’s tip is pushing on my cervix. My plan originally, knowing Goliath’s size, was to try getting the head and maybe another inch in. Now I’ve exceeded my own expectations: I’m two, three inches down from that, rocking gently. The thick foreskin is sitting there like it’s ready to take my fluids.

I’m getting overwhelmed from the size, now. I need a break, so I pull back and rub my slit against the ridge running down Goliath’s back—while I’m still holding the balls down, pressing them into the ground. Goliath’s like a dildo with built-in dildo mount, the massive balls.

I want the toy in again, though. And I feel the pressure building. This could be messy, so I’m relocating to the shower.

The funny part is, I orgasm easily on kinda-wide realistic dildos—and I haven’t yet on Goliath, but that’s not bothering me. This giant dildo is so stretching, with so much feeling from that, that it’s holding my come captive. I just want to ease its big head in and out, seeing how deep it’ll go. That round tip stops again, wedged against my cervix. I just hold it there. Should I let myself come, or keep going? I wish Goliath could give me directions. Because it’s Daddy right now.

The ridge, it’s exactly the shape I want dominating my back wall. Sticking out, present, more than many Hankey’s Toys and their practically nuanced coronas. (Notable exceptions being Cyrus King and the Plumber.) And Goliath’s curve: just enough, slightly flexible, without being over-curved. (For half a second I’m tempted to call it “gentle.”)

But not too gentle, because this is stimulation. I’m pulling myself off Goliath’s 10 inch length so I can come now. Rubbing myself on the round tip, the foreskin lines, the back of the giant dildo head. Fluid starts dripping down the front of Goliath’s shaft.

My thighs have been quivering for the last 15 minutes. I don’t notice anymore. Goliath’s head is back in—and then out, letting me come. I see my squirt shoot straight forward. I’m inspired to turn this monster around again, and its base is slip-sliding in the puddle I’ve made on the bottom of the bathtub. In the end, I’m jerking it’s head with my hand, like I’m jerking Goliath off against my vulva. Five orgasms in, and I’d like to collapse, except I have too much cleanup to do.

At this point, it doesn’t even matter that it’s 1 AM. Because I’m alive and I got a story to tell—and I think, people can either like that or they can go fuck themselves. (Apparently, conquering Goliath makes you feel powerful.)

Once all the toys are washed, I lie down—and my brain is glowing. All the chemicals from this fuck: a feeling like falling in love, if you have a romantic nature. (I do, somewhat unfortunately for my sake.)

Time stopped with Goliath for a while…and I don’t know how long it is before the euphoria subsides and I fall into a deep, satisfying sleep.

The next morning I wake up and my thighs feel amazing, exercised more more satisfyingly than from a long bike ridge; and the mouth of my vag feels a-glow too.

I give a mental high-five to every size addict: you know you’ll be coming back for more.

Stretching Tips

Goliath is the largest toy I’ve taken. You do get more used to taking big things, above-and-beyond things, with consistent practice. But you’ve gotta know where to start: I recommend buying a soft tape measure if you’re unsure of your current toy’s/your partner’s size—because no one wants to take back the too-large-for-you sex toy you bought from Mr. Hankey’s or anywhere else. (Except Lovehoney, we’re not really sure what they’re doing with returns over there. 🤔)

Mr. Hankey's Toys Goliath monster giant dildo
Fun with a monster dildo!

It’s easier to get big toys in if you stretch regularly. (It’s a form of exercise for the muscles around the rectum/vagina, all those PC muscles.) Still, with every extreme stretch session, you should warm up adequately. What that means is:

  • Use smaller toys (or dick!) first! It’s safest to stretch up in increments of approximately an inch circumference (or less) between toys.4
  • I mentioned tons of lube, right? The slicker, the better. Silicone lube is fine (Hankey’s-approved), or use a good oil-based or coconut oil.
  • Stop if you feel pain. A “weirdness” /slight discomfort is normal, but stop if it actually hurts.
  • Go slow as you’re getting it in.
  • Listen to your body: you’ve gotta be in tune with what you’re feeling inside. It’s dangerous to attempt this kind of play when you’re not sober, especially.

And once it’s over? I’ve found that down time after a BIG stretch is important. I actually didn’t use any dildos the night after I first took Goliath, which is abnormal for me; then the second night, I went with “average” size toys. One to two days off afterward, to let your muscles rest, is simply being kind to them and letting you be back up to 100% for the next time.

Goliath Dildo Care & Cleaning

Mr. Hankey’s Toys Goliath is platinum silicone and doesn’t require too much care, but you may want to sanitize it from time to time.

The hardest part there is, of course, Goliath’s size! The smallest LG/XL size is 10 inches tall standing upright, but 12 inches diagonal (big big balls!) when laid flat diagonally—so you’ll need a large, deep pot if you’re trying to boil it. You’ll need to rotate the silicone’s bulk partway through, without boiling your hands too. Really, I’d recommend either rubbing Goliath down with 70% isopropyl alcohol5 or baking it.6

Mr. Hankey's Toys Goliath dildo shelf silicone Phallophile Reviews

And storage! Goliath doesn’t hide too easily, duh. Hopefully you’re like me and just leave it on your dildo shelf when it’s dry. But you got folks you’re needing to hide toys from? Try a big locking tool chest. Goliath doesn’t need a separate storage bag, just rinse any dust/lint/hair off, prior to getting it in next time.

Summary / Overall Goliath Thoughts

If you do want a safe, realistic dildo for SPREADING your hole without going super-duper deep, meet Goliath.

This huge uncut dick will take some work to get in. You gotta know your limits.

But the silicone is beautifully smooth, popping with a noticeable corona, and surprisingly stable when you’re riding this beast (in 75% Soft firmness).

If you’re like me, it’ll take you a while to get to that riding: but you’ll keep coming back to take Goliath’s monster head in and out. Letting it pop one more time, before you let yourself come.

I don’t even know how to rate this dildo, to be honest, which rarely happens to me. Star ratings are meaningless here: Goliath will suit you, or not, depending on your personal experience level and whether you want your hole to be pushed to its upmost limits. The Goliath dildo (in original size especially!) is the Mount Everest of STRETCH. As always, Mr. Hankey’s Toys’ platinum silicone is high-quality, and the craftsmanship is A+. These are pro-level dildos in every way.

Find Goliath & other big to HUGE dildos at Mr. Hankey’s Toys. 🗻

* * *

NOTES

5/5 (1 Review)
  1. Honestly, people complain about the price of large silicone dildos, but I’m surprised that LG/XL Goliath isn’t more than $175. The volume of silicone used in the balls alone has to equal two “average” dildos, not to mention the shaft. Looking for a giant dong for under $50? Yeah, you’ll be buying trashy materials in that case.
  2. Waterless tub; I wouldn’t recommend adding to the difficult of taking a big toy by letting a bath strip all your moisture.
  3. This is also one of a couple (non-Xtra-Small) Hankey’s dildos (Butt Bolt being the other big one) that will not accommodate a Vac attachment hole for fuck machines / harness wear. Can definitely see it destroying many a machine.
  4. Also consider whether the plug/dildo is at all tapered for easy insertion. Goliath is not particularly tapered, it’s not like a cone, so you’ll need to go slower.
  5. Yes, this is safe if you wash well with soap and water afterward.
  6. In the oven at 350 degrees, on a baking tray or parchment/foil-lined glass pan, for about 10 minutes.

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