Polished, John Thomas Toys’ silicone dildos are. John Thomas is a United Kingdom-based fantasy sex toy maker with lots of toys options, in lots of sizes; tailored toward the BIG dildo lover (though smaller sizes are available). For this John Thomas review, I got a Diablo’s Finger, lined with the fun textures characteristic of a fantasy dildo; as well as the Slinky Santiago, which IMO is really meant as a large anal dildo, with its rippling ridges.
John Thomas Toys ship from the UK (though they’re made in the US!), and I believe this maker is a great alternative to Bad Dragon if you are British / Scottish / Irish (or just residing in the United Kingdom). And if you’re elsewhere? International shipping is fast and well-priced for its speed. My full John Thomas Toys review follows…
Contents
Soft Silicone by John Thomas Toys
John Thomas dildos and butt plugs are all 100% silicone, in multiple sizes per toy. The sizes are 3D-scaled & printed so each model is the same — just bigger or smaller, depending on how you want it. That way, if you like a toy’s feel but you’re sizing up, you’ll can go back and purchase exactly the same but BIGGER. John Thomas correctly points out in each listing that silicone is a more expensive material than PVC — and that extra bit of cost is definitely worth it, since silicone sex toys don’t leach chlorine & more nasties into your body like softened PVC sex toys do.
The medium sizes on these John Thomas Toys reviewed next are indeed pretty big; like most dildos by silicone fantasy sex toy makers, “small” means “bigger than average.” Make sure to consider the dimensions before buying, and pull out a soft sewing tape measure if you’re unsure! John Thomas’ images do also have a soda can for scale, which is very helpful visually.
The “Soft” density option is actually soft silicone; I’m measuring it as 2A Shore durometer. It’s not as squishy-squashy soft as many fantasy toys, but it’s forgiving. I would definitely recommend the Soft density by John Thomas first, over medium density — unless you know you enjoy a firmer feel / lots of bumpy pressure in sex toys you already own.
John Thomas Toys has several realistic models, but really stands out as a fantasy sex toy maker (or for super-sized anal stretcher toys with more abstract shapes). I’m covering the Diablo’s Finger first because it’s too fun to photograph… and plenty enjoyable to put inside, too.
Diablo’s Finger, A Devil / Dino Dildo!
I picked this one, the Diablo’s Finger, because it’s a cool & unique fantasy design, not reminiscent of other fantasy shapes. Plus the Fusion Graffiti pink-purple-GREEN color scheme stands out. Designed by an alt porn star / dominatrix with “a T-Rex dino finger” in mind, this devil finger is loaded with imprinted letters, fascinating waves, and of course the spiky claw “finger.”
Don’t fear the claw: in the Soft silicone density, it folds over easily. The thinner a toy is, the more flexible it is, so this fingertip bends when’s pushing into the back of my vagina / right behind my cervix. Stimulating, but not irritating; a light flick, to make me remember it’s there. I call it the Devil’s Claw sometimes 😈
I thought the front, ridgier side would be best for G-spot massage. I was wrong! The backside of Diablo’s Finger dildo clicked with my front vaginal wall immediately. The back sticks out just enough, an inch in, to feel something like a head… And then there’s all kinds of groovy texture down those vertical “stripes.” With water-based lube applied, they’re great to thrust and feel the rubbing, along with the increasing thickness of the Diablo’s Finger shaft as I take more length.
This is simply a fun toy to move, and even spin around, and sense all the different grooves going on. The letters all over the Diablo’s Finger are super-duper light, and serve to make this silicone dildo not-slick — which I prefer. It’s something like skin texture. Alien skin texture, maybe?!
Like all John Thomas Toys, the Diablo’s Finger dildo comes equipped with a hole in the base. You can stick the included suction cup into that hole, to make it stick on a smooth surface like tile or bathtub edge. OR, you can insert a bullet vibrator into the hole and make the toy vibrate. The vibes will be strongest in the lower half of the dildo. That means that by adding the vibrator, I’ve felt more around my labia and vaginal opening. It’s an interesting twist.
I love the neon colors in this “fusion graffiti” coloration, the bright green blending with hot pink and a more subtle purple. The Diablo’s Finger is available in dark blue or black too, if you want plainer color scheme; or also in purple + gold.
As mentioned, mine is the medium size (and the soft firmness). Medium size is big! 8 inches insertable length, with the lower shaft getting up to 2.7 inches diameter. I’m only taking 6 inches of length, so I’ll reach about 2.25 inches width when I’ve got as much Finger in me as I manage. A nice stretch for sure — but if you are a “size queen,” the large and extra-large are still more impressive. I would definitely recommend the soft density due to the bumpy/ripply-ness of the Diablo’s Finger’s many engraved designs!
Slinky Santiago: All About the Ripples
The Slinky Santiago boasts a “large penile helmet,” as “ideal…for anal stretching & play.” I was determined to use this one vaginally first — and it’s not bad in that orifice, but I realized John Thomas is absolutely correct in that the Slinky Santiago is superior for anal sex. The way its head tapers is made for sphincter opening, progressive stretching. Because of how it expands so smoothly, and the textures aren’t so intense as the real fantasy models like the Diablo’s Finger, I can understand why you might consider the Medium firmness silicone for the Slinky Santiago. Squishy silicones feel great once they’re in, but if you’re working hard to get a bigger toy in, then firmer is easier. Firmer silicone doesn’t fold over so much when you’re trying to ease it into a tight hole.
Once you do get the Slinky Santiago’s “helmet” fully in, you’ll get all its ridges moving past your anal sphincter muscles next: a sensitive area full of nerve endings. Bumpity-bump, gently massaging as you move the silicone dildo in and out. The second ridge is understated, minimal; the 5 ridges below that, more pronounced but still not aggressive.
That’s a lot of ridges, and you’ll feel ’em on repeat once you start moving this toy.
I got the medium size again, and let me tell you, this is an anal stretching dildo. In contrast, the Slinky Santiago small size moves from “average” to “just a little thick,” so that’s what I’d suggest for anyone who isn’t into big anal play. (Indeed, I probably should’ve gone with the small myself! It was a couple-day insertion journey, with how large that head is — as much as the taper helps.)
Santiago is lined with little textures all over, again adding just a touch of drag so the dildo isn’t super-slick. Hybrid lubricant is a good choice if you are playing anally, to give a longer-lasting cushion than plain water-based lubricant.
I admit I couldn’t take all 7 of Slinky Santiago’s ridges in the size medium. That’s 8 full inches insertable length, enough to move Santiago’s “helmet” into the sigmoid bend of the colon — oh my, a challenge. I got to between ridges 4 and 5. These little speed bumps are spaced between 0.5 inches and 0.7 inches apart, from one to the next, so you will get the most “wavy” popping feeling if you move the dildo far in and out.
That’s why I think this silicone dildo by John Thomas Toys is exactly the kind of toy you’d want to mount on a fucking machine. Get a dildo machine with adjustable stroke length, like the Hismith Premium machines (with the Vac-U-Lock style connector), and set it to thrust 3 or 4 inches in and out. Suddenly, Slinky Santiago’s ridges — which I would call “subtle” if you’re thrusting the toy by hand — are very stimulating when moving fast. (And you don’t have to do the work of thrusting!)
The Slinky Santiago’s balls are a cushion if you’re using this John Thomas dildo with its included suction cup. They add a bit of weight: to either (1) weigh the toy down more while you ride or (2) keep it oriented in the right direction if you do have Slinky Santiago on a fuck machine.
Overall, the Slinky Santiago is semi-phallic design whose tapered head makes insertion easier; and which offers more rubbing around the lower anal canal due to all the ridges.
Care & Cleaning
Being silicone sex toys, these two John Thomas dildos are pretty simple to care for. You can wash with soap and water for everyday use, or follow any of these methods to sanitize, for a deeper clean. I would recommend washing them well right out of the plastic packaging. My Diablo’s Finger dildo was a little powdery at first; I believe cornstarch was applied to absorb the dimethicone / silicone oil on the silicone’s surface before sealing it in plastic wrap. That washed off, no problem.
Being so textured, the Diablo’s Finger does require a minute or two more work to clean, to make sure you’re getting lube & fluids out of all the crevices. Rub, rub, rub that soap down the toy’s grooves in the sink. Let it dry — and if you see any gunk left over, just wash that area quickly before next use.
Platinum silicone is functionally nonporous, so not cleaning perfectly right away isn’t concerning. It’s not like a Fleshlight, whose thermoplastic material will let bacteria / fungus start growing if you let moisture sit too long.
Besides a free suction cup, John Thomas Dildos also include a suede drawstring pouch too, for storing the toy. Semi-discreetly. It’s a little easier to hide in your sock drawer that way? 😉 Or throw it into a silicone dildo bin, as it’s perfectly safe to store soft silicone with other soft silicone products; they will NOT melt.
John Thomas Toys Dildos Recap
A range of sizes, styles, and colors mark John Thomas Toys out as a new & noteworthy fantasy dildo maker. Whether you’re shipping to the UK, or you just appreciate how interesting toys like the Diablo’s Finger look, John Thomas’ silicone is worth checking out. I was pleased to discover that their soft silicone option is quite forgiving. It made the Diablo’s Finger very comfortable as I jiggled, twisted, and thrust its creative shaft in and out.
And the Slinky Santiago indeed slinks in the sense that its ridges rolllll, rippling down the shaft so you’re getting waves of texture if you thrust this dildo far in and out. You’ll get the most out of it if it’s mounted onto a sex machine with a long adjustable stroke length.