FemmeFunn Ultra Wand Review: Waterproof, Cordless Massager

FemmeFunn Ultra Wand review

FemmeFunn Ultra Wand Review

I believe I have a crush on the FemmeFunn Ultra Wand. It’s freakin’ strong and coated in the silkiest silicone—plus that large head. The FemmeFunn Wand and I were meant to be together: in bed, and especially in the shower.

FemmeFunn invariably makes strong vibrators, and I’ve liked past toys from them—in particular, the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet (review here). But it’s FemmeFunn’s Ultra Wand that’s made the biggest impression on me.

Ultra Wand’s Vibes & Functions

The FemmeFunn Ultra Wand is the company’s biggest-bodied vibe to date—and more room for the motor equals more room for power.1 The Ultra Wand has three steady speeds, none of which are low or gentle. In my wand vibrator comparison, I gave the Ultra Wand a 9/10 for power and said, “No warmup, no problem?” With this FemmeFunn Wand, I’m all in for strong speed from the beginning.

Fact: If you put the FemmeFunn Ultra Wand against the back of your jawbone, even speed #1 will echo around, and you’ll feel the opposite side of your jaw rumbling as well.

Speed #2 is awesome: even stronger. Speed #3, the highest, is A LOT for me to take full-on. I only whip it out when I’m wanting an excess of power, a final push.

The “Boost Button” (FemmeFunn’s new hot feature to promote) will take you directly to top power. That’s convenient if you find yourself wandering through one of the Ultra Wand’s 7 patterns, lost and looking for strong steady speed. The other button, marked with the company’s logo, cycles through all 10 functions.

I’m thankful there are only 10 intensities (3 speeds, 7 patterns) controlled by that one function-change button. This is a big improvement over Ultra Bullet’s and Booster Bullet’s veritable sea of 17 patterned functions.

To jump from, say, pattern #2 to steady speed #2 faster, you can turn the Ultra Wand off and on quickly, skipping those patterns.

I’m not setting my Magic Wands aside, that’s for sure: they have a more level intensity and frequency progression. They start lower and are rumblier, whereas the Ultra Wand is high-frequency from the beginning. It is a “buzzy” vibrator, but it’s also a strong one, much like the even stronger (but corded, and not waterproof) Doxy Wands.

The Ultra Wand is USB rechargeable via a magnetic charger, and the run time seems long: over an hour for sure. While charging, a red light between the Ultra Wand’s two control buttons flashes to let you know that the charger is aligned properly.

Size, Shape…and Silicone

The Ultra Wand fits into the “mid-sized” wand category: its head is a touch over 1.6″ wide, versus the big 2.25″ width of a (Hitachi) Vibratex Magic Wand. But—and this is why the Ultra Wand has quickly become a favorite—the head is just about the same length as the Magic Wand’s. Add Ultra Wand’s strong vibes, and I feel like it stimulates more nerve endings than the typical smaller wand vibe.

FemmeFunn Ultra Wand vs. BMS PalmPower Recharge

FemmeFunn Ultra Wand vs. the smaller-headed BMS PalmPower Recharge.

I do like more…broader stimulation, bigger stimulation. The Ultra Wand makes me happy because it covers a good amount of surface area but is still easy to hold. The contoured handle lets me choke up on the Ultra Wand, grip it comfortably.

Ultra Wand’s “hand feel” is even better because of the super-silky silicone. Mhmm, I love this silicone! It’s smooth, with minimal drag. And its honeycomb texture is subtle. Barely noticeable—not pronounced like that time I found the bullet whose motor I loved but whose crevices were nearly impossible to clean. The FemmeFunn Ultra Wand can be washed and wiped down easily.

My Favorite Ultra Wand Uses

Lying in bed with the Ultra Wand alone is good. It gets me off, nicely. I think Ultra Wand is most exceptional in the shower, though—there I can take full advantage of this FemmeFunn Wand’s waterproof nature.FemmeFunn Ultra Wand shower curtain

Most strong wands are not waterproof. Not even splashproof! The recommend way to clean their heads is to wipe down with a wet cloth. In contrast, Ultra Wand is fully submersible. Wash it in the sink, take it in the bathtub, squirt all over it—whatever. It’ll keep functioning normally. Because of Ultra Wand’s large head and flexible neck, it’s my favorite toy to use standing up, while water is running all down my body. The feeling is powerful and broad and just *great*.

Since I discovered how suction-y the We-Vibe Melt was on my clit, I’ve become fascinated with pairing it with other toys for interesting new kinds of dual stimulation. My top picks are: a dual-density dildo, a small squishy butt plug, and then a wand vibe. And not just any wand vibe, but the Ultra Wand, my favorite waterproof one.

We-Vibe Melt’s clit pulsation gets even better when I have the Ultra Wand’s vibes rolling through my labia, vaginal opening, and mid-pelvic floor. My thoughts after I put Ultra Wand and Melt together for the first time: I can’t remember the last time I squirted so much. I had to go grab some sparkling water, because post-masturbation rehydration was a must.

Overall Thoughts

Simply, the FemmeFunn Ultra Wand is my personal favorite waterproof wand vibrator. It’s easy to use and very satisfying. The Ultra Wand even beats out the slightly stronger BMS PalmPower Recharge—a classic vibe whose incremental speed control I think is the bomb. That says a lot about how nice the Ultra Wand feels in my hand. I can’t get enough of the silky silicone against my skin.

With 3 powerful steady speeds (and a Boost Button in case you need to get to the top level quick), the Ultra Wand is among the strongest vibes I own, surpassing the power of most toys in my G-spot vibe guide. (Yes, it is stronger than the We-Vibe Tango.) The FemmeFunn Wand doesn’t quite match the Magic Wand in terms of strength—but incorporating the Ultra Wand into other kinds of play is more convenient, due to its smaller size.

This is a broadly stimulating vibrator, not for really targeted clitoral stimulation. (Check out an air pulsation toy for that special kind of “intense.”) Since I do like the wider pressure, the Ultra Wand is my kind of vibe. I’ve gotten a hell of a lot of shower orgasms out of Ultra Wand: and I rank it an 8.5 out of 10 (or 4/5) only because it doesn’t have truly low speeds. You gotta want to start strong!

Find the FemmeFunn Ultra Wand here.

FemmeFunn Ultra Wand

69.99
8.5

Total power

9.0/10

Intensity range

6.0/10

Orgasms per dollar value

9.0/10

Ease of use

9.8/10

Pros

  • Very strong
  • Fully waterproof
  • Silky silicone coating all over
  • Long, broadly stimulating head
  • Love the turquoise teal color

Cons

  • No low speeds
  • Gets buzzy by top speed, #3 (I prefer #2)

Notes

  1. In theory; this is not always the case, as there are lots of bigger G-spot vibes with ho-hum motors, etc.
Review Recap
Date:
Product:
FemmeFunn Ultra Wand
Rating:
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Product Name:
FemmeFunn Ultra Wand
Price:
USD 69.99

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