I’m doing something different today: reviewing Coochy cream shaving lotions. Different, because they’re obviously not a sex toy — but might be toy-related, like if you’re trying to use a Womanizer-style clit stimulator, where a good trim helps you get a better seal.
Top pick? Frosted Cake creme. You need this. It’s the Yankee Candle of shaving creams. Vanilla icing smell = I’ve never enjoyed shaving this much before.
Importantly, like all other Coochy shave cremes, “Frosted Cake” contains NO sugar, no glycerin, no propylene glycol (and even no aspartame) — so it’s not messing up the pH of your vulva.
I’ve been shaving with Coochy cream for several years now, so I think this is a legit product. First produced by Classic Brands (now Classic Erotica) twenty years ago, Coochy cremes have a long history. They’re popular to the point of having the name “Coochy” poached by Pure Romance, an MLM-based seller who often marks up (💲⬆️) products to a ludicrous degree.
Stick to the original: Coochy Shave Cremes by Classic Erotica are safe, and simply a good shaving tool. They’re designed to soften the roots of your hair, to prevent ingrown hairs post-shave.
In this Coochy cream review, I’ll run through the other Coochy Creme scents, how well it works, and related products like the Body Oil Mist.
Coochy Creme starts with pure water, and then cetyl (and stearyl) alcohol come quickly into the ingredients list. You think of “alcohol” as being stinging and drying, but hear me out. These two are “fatty alcohols,” which stabilize and thicken Coochy’s creamy composition. They’re not astringint like the alcohol you drink or isopropyl alcohol; rather, they add smoothness and moisture.
Similarly useful ingredients like cetrimonium bromide follow: that allows the skin and surrounding pores to be more easily cleaned, and has anti-static properties that make hair lie flatter against the skin (better for a clean shave).
Thumbs-up for lanolin, which is serious moisture. I need to buy some pure lanolin for my dry knees, to be honest. (It’s greasy by itself, but so, so good for cracked skin.)
Then we get a little bit of all-natural goodness in with jojoba seed oil, which travels through the top several layers of skin. Again, to moisturize.
And list goes on, but the summary is that: Coochy’s formulated to soften hair before cutting it, so that the result is smoother. Overall that means less ingrown hairs, since there’s less stubble to sneak back under the skin and get trapped and infected.
As mentioned, I think Frosted Cake is delightful. Makes me want to stuff my tongue and mouth into a vanilla cupcake. *pause while I consider heading over to the cupcake place across the street*
I’ve also used Island Paradise before, and enjoyed the fruity tropical smell. (You may be noticing I like anything that makes me think about eating. 👅)
As for the Body Oil Mist and After Shave Mist, those are “Botanical Blast” scented. It is a very herbal smell, reminding me of lavender and bergamot.
How Coochy Creme Feels
Unscrew the flip top, remove the seal underneath, then twist the cap back on and open the top… Then smell your Coochy (creme 😉) if you’ve opted for one of the scented ones.
It’s best applied to wet skin, as the Coochy cream will lock moisture in better that way.
It is smooth, silky even, when gliding on. Lather it down, rub it around, then have that razor ready.
With the moisturizing agents and the lanolin, it does feel as thick as, say, a good hybrid lubricant (water + silicone). Coochy cream is … well, creamy. That’s the only word.
I like to use a lot of this stuff for a really wet feel. The tubes come in 3 sizes, from 3.4 ounce to 12.5 ounce. The smallest tube will still last me, personally, 6 weeks. The middle one seems large!
I would recommend the Body Oil Mist for legs in particular: use it for more slickness post-shave. That’s a soy oil base, with safflower seed oil and sweet almond oil as well. It’s like my legs are ready for a tropical vacation, smoothed and slick.
Coochy creme does cut down on ingrown hairs, but in my experience doesn’t totally eliminate them. I must have sensitive follicles or such on my mons pubis / pubic mound, because I’ll even get ingrown hairs after a Brazilian wax. A few of them are inevitable, even though the hair has been (almost) totally pulled out, roots and all. *shrugs* I’d consider this more a particular body issue than the fault of the product. Coochy is definitely rash-free for legs, and with armpits I’ll have an ingrown hair or two — and the same with trimming the front of my mons. This is an improvement.
Definite tip: Sharp razors are always good, too! I used to use cheap-o blades like bulk Bic razors and not change ’em out for months, till the blade was dull. Go 5-blade for the win. #minorlifeimprovements
I do very much recommend splashing water on the skin before rubbing the Coochy in, as I will get more stubble and red spots if I’m not wet before Coochy application.
Summary: Coochy TL;DR
Coochy Cream is really just a solid option if you’re looking for a nice shave product. Pick some up with or without more new toys? (I suggest with. 😉)
Coochy products are made to clean and moisturize around the hair follicles, so you’ll get less bumps and ingrowth after. The Body Oil Mist is worth it too: a little more moisturizing and slick than, say, cocoa butter after you’ve shaved.
Which scent would you choose?
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