Xenocat Artifacts Caiman Review

When I set out to buy an alligator1-inspired dildo, I had no idea it would turn out to be the most beautiful toy in my collection. This review is going to have a lot of photos, because my medium Caiman by Xenocat Artifacts is gorgeous. My camera doesn’t do the sparkly, shiny silicone justice! Ordering from Xenocat Artifacts was a pleasure too.Xenocat Artifacts Caiman side view on wood

But wow, I thought I understood what texture meant before I got my Caiman. This toy, though, takes texture to a whole new level.

Ordering from Xenocat

Xenocat Artifacts is a new Etsy shop, so I was surprised to see how many different models they’ve developed lately and how well their pours are turning out. Xenocat also offers one interesting add-on that no other toy maker2 does: an optional bullet hole in any custom-ordered dildo.

I quickly became interested in both the Caiman and the Monarch models; I went for a medium-size Caiman because the Monarch isn’t available in medium yet. After I messaged the shop owner about a custom order, they responded to my message within half an hour. They were extremely pleasant as we worked out the colors and firmness I wanted. I had decided that my collection seriously lacked green, so I sent a forest pic as inspiration:Forest with lake dildo inspiration pic

Xenocat let me know that my order may take a while because they were working on developing a mold for another toy. So I was really surprised when, just over a week later, I got another message with a picture of my finished toy for my approval! The Caiman was soon to arrive and fulfill all my gator-y dreams.


Usually I don’t really care about toy packaging, but I’m including a pic here because I was impressed with everything Xenocat included. The Caiman was in clear packaging along with a “birth certificate” of sorts, a business card, and a chunk of silicone that matched the toy.

Xenocat Artifacts Caiman packaging
The chunk of silicone is much cooler when you turn it over on the other side (oops).

I was even more impressed when I took my Caiman out of the plastic wrap. It has super-tight marbling. A shiny dark blue alternates with hunter green, lime green, and teal. At first I thought it was a flaw, but I realized that the unmarbled strip of lime green at the bottom of the shaft mirrors the light hitting the grass on the right side of my inspiration photo. And the Caiman’s base is full of gorgeous swirls too.Xenocat Artifacts Caiman base bullet vibe hole

In Use

True to its namesake, the Caiman is spiky. And in Xenocat’s medium firmness (10A shore, so firmer than many other fantasy companies’ firm3), all this texture makes its presence known. No one can accuse me of not liking bumpy, firmer toys, but the focused pressure of the Caiman’s spikes is overwhelming for me if I try to thrust the toy fast at all. Xenocat Artifacts Caiman front ridges

As I’m sure you’ve noticed, the Caiman tapers: it’s widest at the base (about 6″ circumference/1.9″ diameter). As someone who likes a big, rounded head for pure G-spot orgasms, I knew I’d need a little extra help with a tapered toy like the Caiman.

Xenocat Artifacts Caiman side A light
Yay green!

This is why I’m excited about my Caiman’s bullet hole. Plus, since the toy is too textured for me to really thrust (comfortably) in this firmness, the vibrations are great. As I clench around the vibrating shaft, the spiky ridges curve into the front wall of my vag, but I can easily control the stimulation this way.

The bullet hole is closer to the front of the shaft (rather than in the center), so the vibrations from a strong bullet like the We-Vibe Tango really travel through the Caiman’s lower ridges. Xenocat Artifacts Caiman We-Vibe Tango

The bullet hole is a bit tight, so I definitely have to lube any bullet vibe to fit it in. The vibe really locks in place, so I’m really careful when removing it because I’m a little afraid of damaging the silicone (even though it’s probably sturdy enough).

Another reason I got the Caiman with bullet hole was to test out my theory (for my Silicone Suction Cup Dildo Guide) that Xenocat Artifacts’ toys would fit a Tantus suction cup. And I was right!Xenocat Artifacts Caiman with Tantus suction cup

Because of the Caiman’s spiky nature, I don’t think it’s the best suction cup toy; I’m betting the Monarch’s rounded ridges would work a lot better. But I do occasionally like to just lightly grind my vulva against all the Caiman’s texture as an intense warm-up to deeper penetration.

One final note: The Caiman’s silicone has a really glossy finish, which surprises me because I’m used to fantasy toys being more matte. I tend to like matte finishes, but if you prefer some extra slickness, then Xenocat’s silicone should be right up your alley.

Xenocat Artifacts Caiman claw
The CLAW!!!

TL;DR: Beautiful and Intense

I’m glad I decided to jump in and buy a medium Caiman. I can’t emphasize enough what a good job Xenocat Artifacts did in translating my inspiration photo into platinum-cure silicone. I just love looking at my Caiman! In use, the Caiman can be a lot to take. (If I had to do it all over again, I would probably choose the soft option, which is 00-50 silicone, so like Bad Dragon’s medium.) This gator is an intense ride. I do like rubbing against it for a time, but I enjoy it a lot more with a bullet vibe inserted. This way, I can orgasm just by clenching around the stimulating ridges without my vag being totally overpowered4 by the Caiman’s spikes. But though the Caiman isn’t an everyday dildo for me personally, I would 10/10 order from Xenocat again.

If you like the looks of this toy, you can check out Xenocat Artifacts’ Etsy shop here.xenocat artifacts logo

  1. Well, caiman, obviously. They’re closely related.
  2. That I’m aware of. Comment or e-mail me if you know of any besides BD’s little vibes.
  3. See my Silicone Dildo Firmness Guide for more information.
  4. I’m a bit of a domme, so this isn’t really a good thing for me!

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