SquarePegToys Dirk Uncut Dildo Review

SquarePegToys Dirk review: Actual Size, left; and Dirk 1X (Harness), right.

Dirk Actual Size, left; and Dirk 1X (Harness version with FlushCup), right.

SquarePegToys Dirk Review

It’s all in the SKIN! SquarePegToys lifecast dildos always practically *overflow* with skin details. And with Dirk here, you get two options: foreskin up, and foreskin down. (Also, balls or no balls!)

Sure, Leo is the most popular SquarePegToys realistic. Lots of length, for all y’all who like a deeper fucking; or more room to work with the suction cup. But I’m all in with Dirk! This SuperSoft silicone dildo calls to me because:

  • It’s my perfect width…
  • …but not overly long!
  • I mentioned foreskin, right???
  • It’s got a big head too!
  • And oh yeah, the Actual Size has a lovely forward angle.

Prepare yourself: this SquarePegToys review will contain lots o’ pics of Dirk’s two poses as I tell you how each performs…

Dirk Actual Size, Full Lifecast with Balls

OK, so I love the contrast in Dirk, Actual Size (A/S). The head is SquarePeg’s slicker finish (like in the SuperSoft Egg Plugs or Big Stick).Then, right underneath, is all this bunched-up foreskin. It really pulls on my G-spot due to the toy’s curved head. It’s a gentle angle, and a squishy softness, that’s fascinating to thrust (if you like realism the way I do, at least). The “turtleneck” ridging tugs, while the smooth head slides.

SquarePegToys Dirk actual size shaft

Smooth (head) plus skin-lines-to-the-max (corona on down).

Dirk A/S is pretty short, 4.5 inches insertable, which I like because I just want my opening stretched and my spot massaged. Anything over 5 inches insertable is, frankly, unnecessary for me. Dirk’s short length allows me to flip it around and grind on the balls too, which I cannot do comfortably with 6-inch-long dildos.

The balls are 100% worth grinding on, because it’s a highly textured scrotum—again, a million little skin lines. It’s also quite flat, so more surface area to rub against. (Perfect since I’m all about the broad stim.)

SquarePegToys Dirk actual size balls

OMG the scrotal texture.

The bigness of the balls does sometimes make me wish for a ‘nad-less option, for easier grip. (I have small fingers.) Dirk Actual Size is also available without balls, here. I think I may need to pick up one of those too.

When I’m feeling lazy and want something whose base fits in my palm better, I go for the harness / suction cup version…

Dirk Harness, 1X Size

The 1X-size Dirk has its skin up, and the shaft straight (ridge tilted barely backward). And of course it’s bigger than Dirk Actual: about a third an inch more diameter at widest, and an extra inch usable length (5.5″ total usable).

I say the shaft is straight, but in this SuperSoft Chestnut silicone, it’s also so flexible. I always want my super-soft toys to be THICK for their length so my brain doesn’t constantly interpret them as floppy while I’m thrusting. Dirk 1X has a great width, about 2.2 inches diameter—which for me is a slight stretch but not too much.

SquarePegToys Dirk SquarePegToys Leo SuperSoft Bronze

Leo (Actual Size, top) is a popular toy, about the same width as Dirk 1X. But too lengthy for my vag’s sensibilities!

Because it’s cast from a real-live human named Dirk, the Dirk dildo isn’t symmetrical. I really notice this in Dirk 1X’s coronal ridge: it’s a tad off-center. Then there’s a strong vein down one side.

SquarePegToys Dirk Harness 1X interesting spots

Dirk has a smooth, sanded spot right in the middle of the ridge (oval); and the big vein, to name just a couple interesting details.

And I’m cool with the asymmetry. My first favorite dildo was the Tantus Uncut #1. I dug not only the uncut look, but the bulkiness of the head and the skin textures rubbing up and down, over and over as I thrust. But the almost-perfect circle formed by the top of the Tantus Uncut dildos’ foreskins? Too damn round; that always struck me as unnatural.

Uncut dildos lineup

A great lineup of uncut silicone! From left: NYTC Ellis; Tantus Uncut #1; the Dirks; and SquarePeg’s Leo, whose skin is pulled down to right underneath the ridge.

In contrast to the Tantus Uncuts, Dirk is full-on lifecast detail—no artistic renderings or computer aided design here. Also, squishier, in this SuperSoft Chestnut silicone that bends and is always ready to be squeezed. (Vs. the Tantus toys, on the firmer side for dual-density.)

And Dirk’s off-center ridge? I like to twist it side-to-side too, feel the broadness of the head better while the thick shaft below is spreading my labia. Best of all, it reminds me of dismounting from my current real-life partner, because my task when we’re finished is to pull his skin back up.

Dirks Harnesses (both A/S and 1X here) have a “FlushCup,” SquarePegToys’ thin-lipped suction cup. It holds best to horizontal surfaces, as gravity will pull the weight of this plump dildo off walls fairly quickly if the toy is left there by itself. I did manage to use Dirk 1X on a shower wall once, and it held with my body pressing against it. The FlushCup is a nice feature for every once in a while, though not my preferred use. It’s attached to the bottom of Dirk Harness’ chunky base, which keeps the toy steady inside a harness. Future photo-ops with Dirk will have to happen.

The Silicone

“SuperSoft” is a true term: this silicone (SuperSoft Bronze, Graphite, and Chestnut) is squishy-squishy. Something like a fantasy-toy (Bad Dragon) medium firmness, too soft to measure on an A durometer. For human hands and bits, this density is basically indistinguishable from Hankey’s Toys’ 75% Soft and Oxballs’ Super Soft toys. It’s squeezable and easily bendable.

SquarePegToys Dirk Harness 1x head skin lines

Skin lines: Dirk Harness 1X’s head in my hand.

As noted, SquarePegToys are handmade, and therefore will have little irregularities that you shouldn’t find in mass-produced toys. The bases, for example, appear hand-trimmed, uneven. My Dirk 1X’s is asymmetrical just like the dildo. SquarePegToys has been making platinum silicone dildos like this for over 20 years, as one of the very first US sex toy companies to create body-safe products exclusively.

Dirk’s silicone finish alternates between smooth and just a tad sticky; and draggy without lube when you get to the skin lines. If you’re not stocked up with lube, pick up some Sliquid Sassy (a thick water-based) or The Butters, to make Dirk slip ‘n’ slide most easily.

The SuperSoft Chestnut coloring looks flat-beige until you examine it closely in the light. Then you can see little sparkles, almost like there’s some bronze glitter coming through.

Overall / Rating

If I had a daily prayer, it would go something like: “Oh lord, give me lots of willing thick, uncut cock; excellent food; and many readers for my blog. So shall it be done, amen.” 😄

Like everyone, I have my preferences—and SquarePegToys’ Dirk lines up beautifully with what I like most in a sex toy. Uncut realistic dildo with a big head? In 100% platinum silicone? Oh hell yeah.

Dirk is definitely a toy for those who want thicker, shorter, and be-skinned. If that’s you, the hard call will be: “But which pose?!” Both Dirk A/S and 1X have their merits—a good curve vs. more thickness—and I honestly sometimes just can’t choose, so I use one after the other!

Find the SquarePeg Dirks here at Peepshow Toys.

SquarePegToys Dirk

$52 to $79
9.5

Realistic detailing

10.0/10

Comfort level

9.0/10

Material quality

9.5/10

Pros

  • Soft and comfortable
  • SO MUCH skin detail
  • 2 uncut looks!
  • Handmade platinum silicone

Cons

  • Not available in as many sizes as Leo
  • Base has an irregular look
  • Not dual-density (also cheaper than dual-density silicone, though)

One thought on “SquarePegToys Dirk Uncut Dildo Review

Your e-mail will NOT be published. Name and e-mail fields are required.