SquarePegToys Dirk Uncut Dildo Review

SquarePegToys Dirk Review

It’s all in the SKIN! SquarePegToys lifecast dildos always practically *overflow* with skin details. And with Dirk here, you get two options: foreskin up, and foreskin down. (Also, balls or no balls!)

Sure, Leo ismost popular SquarePegToys realistic. Lots of length, for all y’all who like a deeper fucking; or more room to work with the suction cup. But I’m all in with Dirk! This SuperSoft silicone dildo calls to me because:

  • It’s my perfect width…
  • …but not overly long!
  • I mentioned foreskin, right???
  • It’s got a big head too!
  • And oh yeah, the Actual Size has a lovely forward angle.
SquarePegToys Dirk dildo 2022
Dirk Harness Actual firmer, Dirk Actual, SuperSoft; Dirk Harness 1X SuperSoft, Dirk Harness 1X Firmer.

This review now covers Dirk dildos version 2, smoother but still full of skin textures (updated April 2022). Prepare yourself: this SquarePegToys review will contain lots o’ pics of Dirk’s two poses as I tell you how each performs…

Dirk Actual Size

OK, so I love the contrast in Dirk, Actual Size (A/S) (full lifecast with balls). The head is SquarePeg’s slicker finish (like in the SuperSoft Egg Plugs or Big Stick).Then, right underneath, we dive right into the retracted skin & shaft skin textures. Dirk Actual has a gentle angle, and a squishy softness, that’s fascinating to thrust (if you like realism the way I do, at least).

SquarePegToys Dirk actual size shaft
Smooth (head) plus skin-lines-to-the-max (corona on down).

Dirk Actual with balls is pretty short, 4.5 inches insertable, which I like because I often want my opening stretched and my spot massaged. Dirk’s short length allows me to flip it around and grind on the balls too, which I cannot do comfortably with 6-inch-long dildos and up.

The balls are 100% worth grinding on, because it’s a highly textured scrotum—again, a million little skin lines. It’s also quite flat, so more surface area to rub against. (Perfect since I’m all about the broad stim.)

SquarePegToys Dirk actual size balls
Scrotal texture of Dirk version 1. Version 2 has lots of bumpy scrotum skin still, but less recesses—so it’ll be easier to clean up.

The bigness of the balls does sometimes make me wish for a ‘nad-less option, for easier grip. It’s called Dirk Harness, Actual: and it is quite short, 3.75 inches length before the base. It’ll work as a gentle plug; but I’m really more likely to use the G squeeze by SquarePeg for that, along with clit stimulation.

Dirk Harness Actual vs 1X sizes 2022
Dirk Harness in 2 sizes: Actual, left; 1X, right. Both are SuperSoft silicone.

So the ball-less Dirk isn’t as much of a hit for me in SuperSoft: it’s better in SquarePeg’s “Firmer” silicone, as I’ll describe here. But my overall favorite Dirk, which is tied for my favorite SquarePeg dildo overall? It’s Dirk Harness in the bigger 1X size…

Dirk Harness, 1X Size

The 1X-size Dirk has its skin up, and the shaft straight. And of course it’s bigger than Dirk Actual: about a third an inch more diameter at widest, and 2 inches more usable length than the small Harness Dirk (Dirk 1X is 5.5 inches total usable).

I say the shaft is straight, but in this SuperSoft Chestnut silicone, it’s flexible. I typically want my super-soft toys to be THICK for their length so my brain doesn’t interpret them as floppy while I’m thrusting. Dirk 1X has a great width for me: a fat 2-inch-wide head, and 2.2 inches max. diameter—which for me is a slight stretch but not too much.

SquarePegToys Dirk SquarePegToys Leo SuperSoft Bronze
Leo (Actual Size, top) is a popular toy, about the same width as Dirk 1X. But too lengthy for my vag’s sensibilities!

Because it’s cast from a real-live human named Dirk, the Dirk dildo isn’t symmetrical. I really notice this in Dirk 1X’s coronal ridge: it’s a tad off-center. Then there’s a bump and a front vein texture, seen under my finger here!

And I’m cool with the asymmetry. My first favorite dildo was the Tantus Uncut #1. I dug not only the uncut look, but the bulkiness of the head and the skin textures rubbing up and down, over and over as I thrust. But the almost-perfect circle formed by the top of the Tantus Uncut dildos’ foreskins? Too damn round; that always struck me as unnatural.

Uncut dildos lineup
Uncut silicone lineup! From left: NYTC Ellis; Tantus Uncut #1; the Dirks, version 1; and SquarePeg’s Leo, whose skin is pulled down to right underneath the ridge.

In contrast to the Tantus Uncuts, Dirk is full-on lifecast detail—no artistic renderings or computer aided design here. Also, squishier, in this SuperSoft Chestnut silicone that bends and is always ready to be squeezed. (Vs. the Tantus toys, on the firm side for dual-density.)

And Dirk’s off-center ridge? I like to twist it side-to-side too, feel the broadness of the head better while the thick shaft below is spreading my labia. It’s realistic-looking and feeling enough, it reminded me of sex with a man Ioved very much. See Dirk 1X’s skin-line detail rippling down the side:

SquarePegToys Dirk dildo 1X supersoft bronze silicone, in hand

Dirks Harnesses (both Actual and 1X here) have a “FlushCup,” SquarePegToys’ thin-lipped suction cup. It holds best to horizontal surfaces, as gravity will pull the weight of this plump dildo off walls fairly quickly if the toy is left there by itself. I did manage to use Dirk 1X on a shower wall once, and it held with my body pressing against it. The FlushCup is a nice feature for every once in a while, though not my preferred use. It’s attached to the bottom of Dirk Harness’ chunky base, which keeps the toy steady inside a harness. Future photo-ops with Dirk will have to happen.

SuperSoft Silicone

“SuperSoft” is a true term: this silicone (SuperSoft Bronze, Graphite, and Chestnut) is squishy-squishy. Something like a fantasy-toy (Bad Dragon) medium firmness, too soft to measure on an A durometer. For human hands and bits, this density is basically indistinguishable from Hankey’s Toys’ 75% Soft and Oxballs’ Super Soft toys. It’s squeezable and easily bendable.

SquarePegToys Dirk dildo phallophile reviews 2022

As noted, SquarePegToys are handmade, and therefore may have teeny irregularities that you don’t find in mass-produced toys: more skin texture in Dirk 1X, for example, than in a Colours dildo; and carefully hand-trimmed bases. SquarePegToys has been making platinum silicone dildos like this for over 20 years, as one of the very first US sex toy companies to create body-safe products exclusively.

Dirk’s silicone finish alternates between smooth and just a tad sticky. The 1X version definitely requires lubricant. If you’re not stocked up with lube, pick up some Sliquid Sassy (a thick water-based) or Simply Aqua Jelle, or Simply Hybrid Jelle for Dirk and Leo anally!!! That’ll make Dirk slip ‘n’ slide most easily.

The SuperSoft Chestnut coloring looks flat-beige until you examine it closely in the light. Then you can see little sparkles, almost like there’s some bronze glitter coming through. SuperSoft Bronze is a glimmery copper, and Graphite is part sparkly silver, part gray.

In Firmer Silicone!

Dirk is now available in “Firmer” silicone too: which is a pretty-soft 5A Shore durometer. Looks amazing in Ultraviolet:

SquarePegToys Dirk Firmer silicone dildo 2 sizes

As I’ll explain in my “Firmer vs. SuperSoft: How to Choose?” post, Firmer is great if you like a more firmly erect feel, for better pressure; vs. SuperSoft feeling more fleshy. For me and Dirk 1X, with Firmer I’ll come faster; but with SuperSoft, I’ll come harder.

The 1X Firmer Dirk is imposing; solid. But not the abrasive hard of a 20A-shore dildo, my first silicone realistic experience (which left me wanting). In contrast, big Firmer Dirk has some give; yet its textures are more noticeable.

And the Firmer silicone solves my problem of Dirk Harness Actual (smaller size) feeling too gentle. The Firmer Actual-size is now a better G-spot plug, almost: good to suction-cup down and rock on, to feel that forward point better. I’ll use it with a bullet vibe (the rumbly Pillow Talk Racy pictured below) for clit stimulation:

SquarePegToys Dirk dildo Actual size Firmer Ultraviolet with suction cup, on shower ledge, with Pillow Talk Racy

Overall / Rating

Like everyone, I have my preferences—and SquarePegToys’ Dirk lines up beautifully with what I like most in a sex toy. Uncut realistic dildo with a big head? In 100% platinum silicone? Oh hell yeah.

Dirk is definitely a toy for those who want thicker, shorter, and be-skinned. If that’s you, the hard call will be: “But which pose?!” Both Dirk A/S and 1X have their merits—a good curve vs. more thickness—and I honestly sometimes just can’t choose, so I use one after the other!

In version 2, with both SuperSoft and Firmer silicone as an option now: I play with Dirk 1X SuperSoft for my hardest orgasms, with all that girth; but greatly enjoy Dirk Actual in Firmer for the funnest warmup.

Find the SquarePeg Dirks here at Peepshow Toys.

SquarePegToys Dirk

$52 to $79
9.5

Realistic detailing

9.5/10

Comfort level

9.0/10

Material quality

10.0/10

Pros

  • Soft and comfortable
  • SO MUCH skin detail
  • 2 uncut looks!
  • Handmade platinum silicone
  • Now smoother

Cons

  • Not available in as many sizes as Leo
  • Not dual-density (also cheaper than handmade dual-density silicone, though)

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