Hismith Premium Sex Machine Review

Prepare to get *POUNDED*. OMG! My Hismith review covers the Hismith Premium sex machine & how I’ve enjoyed it—vs. my previous fave fuck machine. The Premium machine with remote control (& long-distance app!) has occupied me. Thoroughly. For a full month. And when I say “occupied me,” I mean an hour carved out into my schedule for the machine 4 days a week—an hour in which I come, and come, and come again. (The other 3 days, I gotta take a rest, phew!)

Thrust power is what the Hismith Premium gives you—the amount of power & torque previously reserved for machines twice its price. But the biggest surprise when I first used the Hismith Premium sex machine, though? The low volume.

I’ve managed to pull myself away from this Hismith sex machine and write about ease of assembly, how well the long-distance app works, updated dildo attachments (including more realistic, dual-density silicone for 2023!), and other Hismith Premium pros and cons! Skip to the end of this Hismith review for a 10% Hismith discount code & quick recap of this more affordable sex machine.

Hismith Sex Machine Premium Features

There’s no question Hismith sex machines are the top name if you want a hard-fucking machine with adjustable stroke length—not just adjustable angle—that is not mega-expensive.

At $400 to $500, the stronger Hismith machines are certainly not cheap. It’s a commitment, getting one: a commitment to good, consistent screwing. Will this fuck machine be worth it to you? Consider:

Pros (Hismith Premium)

• Adjustable speed from sloooow to fast (10 to 300 strokes per minute).
• Actually very quiet.
• Reliable and consistent, smooth penetration.
• Twist-dial remote is easy to operate.
• Totally hands-free penetration!!!
• Dual stimulation is easier with hands free (to hold a clit vibrator!).
• Tons of dildo attachment options:
• Now available with realistic dual-density silicone dildos.
• Won’t stall out like a thrusting dildo or cheaper sex machine will if you f^ck it too hard.

Cons

• Requires some work to put together.
• 1-year warranty.
• Cheaper than most sex machines; but still not budget.
• Better dildo attachments sold separately: all the dual-density ones, larger ones, & fantasy ones.

Hismith’s name comes up over and over again, if you talk to real-life people. I saw the Hismith machines mentioned over and over again on the Reddit sex-related subs I follow, as very satisfying but not as pricey. (Ken’s Twisted Mind is the big name if you’re going for an American-made product: those have a lifetime warranty, and the most comparable machine to the Hismith Premium [which costs $360 with discount] by Ken’s is the Sneaky Pete, priced at $679.)

The Hismith Premium fucking machine’s power comes from its 100-watt “mute turbine” motor. That means it’s real quiet. (More on the noise level in My Experience, below.) And also very strong! In comparison to the Hismith Premium’s 100 watt power, the cheaper Hismith Table Top 2.0 has 48 watt motor power, where more watts equals more force (not to mention that the Table Top doesn’t have an adjustable frame for like really hard doggy and anal positioning). But back to Hismith noise level: That’s so exciting, the low volume: I’ve been frustrated by the Velvet Thruster dildos’ loudness, for example. So I was ready to give it a go…

My Hismith Experience Run-Down

Smooth. So very smooth. That’s how I’d describe the thrusting of the Hismith Premium sex machine, once I got it up and running.

It feels polished, steady, consistent. A robotic-like precision. Up to over 300 thrusts per minute. I like to start much slower, though…

The twist-dial controller is perfect. Really a necessity for any good machine. It’s so simple, and very user-friendly. Anyone could figure it out.

Assembling the machine was a bit of work for me, as I’ll note later. I’m a wordsmith, not an engineer, so it took me about an hour. But my efforts paid off!

Figuring out the KlicLok connector was next: how to properly secure the dildo, and then how to remove it to clean the toy afterward. The Vac-U-Lock connector and all other attachments (discussed later) employ the KlicLok system, which is ingenious.

Then adjusting the angle of the thrust arm… There are flip-up, flip-down levers on both bars of the frame perpendicular to the ground. Lift up one lever while supporting the Hismith Premium motor body, lower the body so the angle adjusted where you want it, then flip the lever back into place.

And finally it’s time—time for an easy or hardcord thrust session, whatever pleases you. The machine is wall-powered, so of course you can go for as long as you want too, the batteries won’t die.

I start at speed 20; interestingly, 10 doesn’t actually move the machine after I have a dildo inserted in me. 15 is where the juice starts.

I move up to 40 on the speed control dial pretty quick. That’s Score. Around 50 on the speed dial is what feels most natural to me, most like good intense human sex.

I’ll finish at 50 to 60 W of power most times. Unless I’m really feeling the need for intense action, in which case I’ll toy with the app and find some fun patterns that max out at full speed. Eeeeeeeeh, wow. 😵

For a really complete session, though? Add a Magic Wand. Now that’s some HOLY SMOKES action.

I started squirting from using the Hismith Premium and Magic Wand, on occasion. I have to be in the mood for it—but when I am, it can turn into a fountain. I’ve never squirted from sex with a penis, so this is something new. And so very wet. Have a waterproof blanket of some variety ready, just in case.

I’m a fan of soft + realistic dildos (they’re more comfortable going fast), so I wasn’t a huge fan of the included dildo. It’s medium-soft, not fleshy soft. At first I opted for Vac-U-Lock dildos, made of super-soft silicone, on the Hismith Vac connector attachment. Then, I realized Hismith has released dual-density silicone dildo attachments!!! Hooray, these are the best: more details in the attachments section, below.

I’ve mentioned the low volume a couple times already, because that is awesome. My Hismith goes fast but does NOT make a racket, the kind of noise that handheld thrusters emit and that I, for example, didn’t want to use during quarantine when I had my family around all the time. Or if I wanted a real hard screw at night, after my kids are asleep, any day of the week…

On the first half of the speed range especially, the Hismith Premium is barely audible. One thing to note is that you can’t down out noise by putting a blanket over it, like you could with a normal vibrator: the blanket could get caught in the thrust mechanism. Instead, go with a video playing or low music to drown out the Hismith machine’s low hum if you need privacy.

Another noise tip: For some reason, speed “80” (80W) on the twist-dial controller is noisiest. Skip from the low 70s up to 88 W, and you’ll keep the noise under 50 decibels, always. Personally, I can come hard enough on 40 Watts and a quick night-time session, so that’s barely above ambient noise level (about 8 decibels more).

I’ve primarily used the Hismith Premium vaginally, but the excellent torque and motor power make it well-suited for anal. This is not a machine that you’ll have to restart after making it stall out (like is the case with handheld thrusters or lower-powered machines when too much force is put against them). Adjusting the Hismith machine angle from my preferred missionary-esque vaginal position to doggy-style was simple, and then I used the included 6 Inch Silicone Dildo attachment for a real anal ride. (Well, a gentle one—I don’t like my anal too speedy, so I was maxing out at about 45 W on the dial!) Right when the dildo’s head eased past my sphincters, its movement slowed slightly; and then the machine kept thrusting very smoothly afterward. (Having a Magic Wand out is especially great in this position, leaning forward doggy-style.)

If you’re not wanting to deal with the cord in hand, the Hismith Premium APP Sex Machine has (1) a separate remote control (two simple buttons) and (2) is app controllable for long-distance play and thrusting pattern creation.

Hismith Attachment Options & Dildo Suggestions

The Hismith Premium sex machine comes with a silicone dildo attachment that’s a popular generic shape — also seen in the NS Colours 5 Inch dildos, for example — but with the KlicLok metal attachment, to lock it on your machine. It’s OK. The silicone is fairly soft but not fleshy-soft: a 10A shore durometer.

Now in 2023, Hismith sells so many more body-safe silicone dildo attachments. You have to get a dual-density Hismith dong if you like realistic dildos, at all. OMG. “Upgrade” is a such a bland word: adding one of these “skin-feel but slick” bad boys to the machine is only expressable in emojis: 😮💣🤪😄😃😵🤩 Euphoric.

Just search “dual density dildo” on Hismith, and you’ll find a dozen options: I got the 8.1 Inch (which is just above average size) and the 9.1 Inch (which is BIG). Both have impressive coronal ridges that massage my G-spot awesomely; and are so takeable in the super-soft silicone outside. Really, really comfortable. The only downside about these dildos is that the silicone painted head and veins will fade, ek. The Hismith dual dildos’ squish feels so good, though…

Hismith also sells a suction cup attachment, a flat circle that you stick your suction cup dildo onto. Suction cup adapters in general work best for toys with strong suction cups, especially once you get the sex machine going. The Neo Elite 7.5 Inch Dual Density silicone dildos, for example. Stick the 7.5″ with Balls onto the suction cup adapter and see how it hits the spot (G-spot or prostate)! (Or the 7.5 Inch without balls is by far my favorite anal dildo, for the easy stretching & soft feel.) In the end, I feel most secure with either Hismith’s KlicLok built-in dildos or with Vac dildos due to how strongly they adhere—because I am somehow who clenches really hard when I orgasm.

If you have a Mr. Hankey’s Toys collection or similar—they make these awesome big-to-huge, super-soft dildos—then definitely purchase the Vac-U-Lock connector that Hismith sells with KlicLok attachment. These Vac-U-Lock dildos need just a teeeeny drop of lube in the base of their Vac hole for easier removal; insert too much lube and your dildo will spin around during screwing.

KlickLock / KlicLok Connector How To

The first trick is learning how to actually spell KlicLok. I joke because it is really a challenge, figuring out which letters I’m supposed to be changing / dropping from a name pronounced “Click Lock.”

So KlicLok, OK. This is one of Hismith’s 2 adapter / dildo connection systems: KlicLok is found on the premium machines, vs. the 3XLR dildos being unsafe materials (PVC and TPE) made for the cheaper, less-powerful Hismith thrusters. Each Hismith Premium attachment includes this custom connector system, which is very sturdy and simple after you discern how to make the lock click, and later unclick so you can detach and clean after play.

Here’s how: There’s a movable cylinder at the end of the Hismith Premium’s thrust arm. You push that back to lock your attachment on, and then pull the cylinder forward to remove.

Side note: If you unscrew the hexagonal metal connector found in the base of any KlicLok dildo, it will function as a suction cup dildo too.

How to Adjust Hismith Premium Stroke Length

OK, so this confused me. I’d already started composing this review before reading Hismith’s full FAQ. When I did, I realized that adjustable stroke length is possible on the Hismith Premium—because that adjustment isn’t obvious at a glance. This machine has a lot of parts! And the FAQ assumes you should know how to adjust the machine with no directions!¹

So here’s how to adjust the Hismith Premium machine stroke length, while the machine is OFF:

1. Look toward the back of the machine.
2. Find a twistable screw knob.
3. Loosen it.
4. Move the knob either backward (for longer stroke length) or forward (for shorter stroke length).
5. Twist to tighten the knob again.

Shipping and Assembly

My Hismith machine itself shipped from Canada to me in the States, while the attachments shipped from Hong Kong (with really fast DHL).

The machine package was 26.5 pounds, and I had it delivered to my parents’ since I’m in an apartment and can’t 100% count on reliable delivery here. I tell you this because my dad brought over the package and was like, “It’s pretty heavy! You think you can carry that up the stairs?!”

He has a point, the machine isn’t light and may pose an issue for anyone with back or joint problems due to the box size. But I just smiled, picked up the box and maneuvered its weight up to my place… Then I opened it, and realized there are a helluva lot of parts here! The instructions are bit difficult to read as well, and I’m a visual learner with mechanical things. Oh well!

It took me an hour, but I got it figured out! By inspecting the diagrams multiple times, really, since the English translation is a little wonky. (Always the case with Hismith descriptions, really.) Happily, the machine comes with the hex wrench you’ll require in order to fit the metal frame’s bars together.

Finally, my Hismith Premium was fully assembled, and it was smooth sailing … except for that part where I got the cord tangled and damaged it, more on that next!

Warranty and Care

The machine has a 1-year warranty. EXCEPT. Do not get the cords caught in the thrusting mechanism: that’s considered user error rather than a manufacturer’s defect. If you do, you’ll need to check out the Hismith repair kit / accessories page to pay for a new remote control, for example.

It me! Having played with the Power Banger machine previously, I was used to passing its remote controller between hands as I adjust pillow positioning or whatever during play. I tried switching sides on the Hismith cord, from the right side of the machine it’s built into, to the left side … and the cord immediately got caught in the thrusting arm. That tore through the black casing over the wiring inside.

Moral of the story: Do be careful putting anything around this part of the machine. That most certainly includes your fingers.

The Hismith Premium also needs a bit of oiling-up occasionally (every 3 months is recommended): on the sliding rail only, the silvery parts that move back and forth! Hismith’s FAQ instructs, “You can search the keywords: High Temperature Wheel Bearing Grease on Amazon you can find what you want. Mobil Polyrex EM Electric Motor Bearing Grease is Recommended.”

As a corded toy, the machine is obviously not waterproof, which is why it’s important you remove and clean the attachments. Since I have squirted pretty forcefully on the machine, I can say that getting some wetness on the moving thrust arm won’t cause damage. Just don’t absolutely drench the body of the Hismith machine. The metal arm (and whole frame) is easy to wipe down with a damp cloth.

Hismith App Review: Long-Distance Sex Machine Control

The Hismith APP enabled sex machine version ($100 more than the normal Hismith Premium) is worth considering if:

1. You really like thrusting patterns — escalation, teasing jumps, etc.
2. You have a long-distance partner who you want to fuck you from afar.

The Hismith app of course requires you to enter an email address to create an account, then they send you a verification code. Afterward, you choose a username, as well as a birthdate and country location. I chose my pseudonym and easy numbers, a false birthday, and China was already selected so I didn’t bother changing that.

After creating the account, if you have your twist-dial controller turned on, the Hismith machine will easily pair. This app controlled Hismith stays paired, too; every time I’ve been in the app and then turned on the controller, it’s linked immediately. No glitches or needing to reconnect (*cough* We-Connect *cough*).

The Hismith app first takes you into “Play Mode.” You can access the other modes—”Play Remote” being the worthwhile one—by clicking the circular arrow button (see center shot, above) that appears as you scroll down the patterns. Then you’ll see all the function options.

I’ve had fun exploring the patterns mostly. Since this machine can go so fast, the increases may sometimes be startling, like how I really can’t stand top speed personally, so I’ve flipped off my controller to kill the Bluetooth connection on one pattern. (Flipping back to the pattern selection screen does the same, stops the thrusting.) Most are pretty takeable, and fun for something different.

Of course you can create your own patterns too, so you won’t get unexpectedly overwhelmed. It’s a little tricky to figure out where to do this: Under “Play Mode,” where you see everyone else’s preset patterns, you have to tap on “Mine” at the top of the screen, middle left-ish. There, “Add Mode” lets you set a series of particular speeds and you determine the length of time that each runs for. The “Cycle” option, particularly, lets you go through a series of “Single” preset start-end speeds. To get a single function set in place, you need to drag the slider and then hit the little green check mark in the upper righthand corner to get back to adding more intensities.

The Solo Play mode confused me; it’s like a drag-to-increase-speed functions I’ve seen in We-Connect and in OhMiBod. You’ve gotta really move your finger UP toward the top of the screen to get above speed 15 to start. Honestly, it feels like a lot of unnecessary work to change speeds this way.

Now onto Play Remote. I first tried this long-distance Hismith control in 2020 with a random dude online, after I went through a bad breakup. Overall, it was a glitchy experience I didn’t want to repeat: The “Copy Link” feature under Hismith’s Play Remote didn’t actually produce a text link for me to send, it kind of froze; so instead I hit the Hismith icon-topped “Friends” and pasted in my new friend’s Hismith name. He was able to control immediately.²

Again, pattern creation on Hismith is a little tough, and I wish the control was drag-up-and-down. Wish that it was so simple. Wish I could see the intensity displayed in waves or similar—but instead the screen stays fixed on the pattern options with no indication of what one’s long-distance partner is doing. But whatever, the pressure built up until my new partner told me to come, and come I did.

In the end, even if the Hismith app is not the most intuitive system, the Hismith long-distance control works. You use the different preset modes and tinker with the intensity.

But communication does NOT work on the Hismith app alone: I really recommend using Hismith long-distance with someone you’re comfortable talking on the phone with. Someone you can trust with your phone number—because there’s no way to chat, send photos, send voice messages, or video-call in the Hismith app currently. Sex without feedback from the Other is dead sex, IMO, so another app or phone call is absolutely essential when employing the Hismith app. This fucking machine app could certainly be improved with more ways—nay, with any way—to communicate long-distance.

That critique made, the Hismith app’s Bluetooth connection is very stable. The app-machine connection won’t fail either locally or long-distance (a problem wearable vibrators sometimes suffer from). That’s because the Hismith Bluetooth antenna is in the controller box, which isn’t covered by flesh like a wearable vibrator is. (And Bluetooth travels best through air, not water or flesh.)

Overall Hismith Sex Machine Recap

Hismith machines are powerful toys for serious thrusting, especially the Hismith Premium level sex machines. The brand is highly recommended by actual users, and I can see why. The Premium Hismith is an affordable sex machine that’s also smooth, strong, and QUIET.

They’re not the easiest to assemble, or the lightest; and be careful not to get anything caught around the rotating thrusting gear.

They are sturdy, stable, with nicely done adjustable speed control. And the KlicLok system works great: especially now that Hismith makes dual-density silicone realistic dildos, so this is really next-best-thing to having a vigorous sex partner available anytime (except you can swap out the dildo risk-free!!!).

I find myself having lost half an afternoon many times, just me and the machine. It’s a true thrill for the lover of *thrust*.

Find all Hismith thrusting machines & accessories here.

Save 10% off sitewide with code PR10.

Hismith Premium sex machine

499.99

9.1

Thrust power

9.5/10

Noise level

10.0/10

Easy control

9.5/10

Assembly & instructions

7.5/10

Attachment system

9.0/10

Pros

• Very good power & stall resistance, especially given the price
• Adjustable stroke length & angle of penetration
• Perfect for vaginal OR anal; can stand up to large dildos
• Quiet!!!
• Pattern- and long-distance capable

Cons

• Bulky & not lightweight
• App could be more intuitive
• Assembly takes a little effort
• Save $100 if you don't need the app version

Shop Hismith

NOTES

1. I’d also set aside the machine instruction manual in its storage case and not looked at it again after assembly, because I was busy with this fucking machine!
2. Interestingly, the “waiting for remote connection” message remained on-screen the whole time I was being controlled that first time after the failed “Copy Link” attempt, so that’s a bug to fix.