When I hear “wand,” I automatically think “big vibrator with a broad head.” (Á la Magic Wand, the first vibe of this type.) But no, the Diamond Wand by FemmeFunn is something different: a long, insertable vibe with a round head.
I’m going to assume that the marketing peeps over at FemmeFunn were thinking about the Harry Potter type of wand instead of the Hitachi type of wand when they came up with the name, because it is pretty fun to imagine pointing at people who you’d like to put a hex on.
I have a lot of other confusion going on with the Diamond Wand too: Is it best as a clit vibe?
Nah, not really, the head is shaped too awkwardly for that.
Is it a G-spot vibe, then?
NOPE, not that either. The Diamond Wand’s shaft is way too flexible to apply G-spot pressure.
I spent a month toying with the Diamond Wand, trying to figure out how the bloody hell to use this thing. Then it got set aside, in the pile of unloved sex toys.
The Diamond Wand’s power isn’t bad at all (more on that next). It’s just the strange shape that makes me 1000x more likely to recommend that you buy one of these NOT-confused toy designs instead:
- A good clit vibe: Either a superior bullet vibe, like the rumbly We-Vibe Tango; or a bad-ass wand like the Magic Wand Plus.
- A good G-spot vibe (also great clitorally): Pillow Talk Sassy ranks as my best orgasms-per-dollar-value vibe—or check out Dorr Silker or Jopen Key Comet II for harder G-spot pressure.
Keep reading to experience my struggles with the Diamond Wand!
Strength
Name aside, the Diamond Wand is a powerful vibe; its first (lowest) vibration setting is about on par with the first (and strongest) of the very affordable VeDO Bam. The Diamond Wand has about 6.5″ inches insertable length, which starts with a head that seems very large because of how slim the shaft is. The widest diameter in the head is 1.3″, whereas the shaft is less than an inch (0.875″, to be exact). The toy’s silicone coating has a lovely silky feel that’s great to touch. And the silicone coating is covered in…you guessed it…diamonds!
I like the diamonds. They’re not really that noticeable in use—they’re not heavily raised like the same shape on the Luxe Princess Bullet (which I loved before realizing, OMG, so much gunk). But the diamond patterns give this vibe just a bit of a different feel from your standard silicone coating. I’d say they give the Diamond Wand some character.
But the crucial thing about any vibe, of course, is its vibration intensity. The Diamond Wand’s three steady speeds move from pretty rumbly to very high-powered…and buzzy. The vibrations in the Diamond Wand’s patterned settings are so strong, and generally buzzy, that I usually find them overwhelming for G-spot stimulation. So I stick to the steady settings, starting with the first and most manageable one and then moving to the second when I’m ready to kick it up a notch.
G-Spot Vibe???
Speaking of G-spot stimulation, the FemmeFunn Diamond Wand is pretty average at it, IMO. The vibe’s head is hard and has a bulbous shape, which are classic G-spotting characteristics. But most of the impact from this toy is coming from the vibrations rather than from the shape of the Diamond Wand. Why? Like with the rumbly FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet (review here), the Diamond Wand has no plastic shell between the silicone coating and the mechanical parts underneath. That means the thinner “shaft” will bend some. In one way, I like the flexibility because it lets me more pressure on the front of my vaginal mouth. That’s great when I start thrusting this wand. Other users, though, may find the shaft’s flexibility the opposite of the firm pressure they need.
Since I can bend the Diamond Wand so much, I’ve also inserted it, wrapped it around toward my clit, and sat on it while watching TV. (Because I love multitasking, right???) This setup is interesting for a while, but I can’t get off on it: the firm center of the wand makes the shaft angle backward, so it’s not vibrating quite the right spots for me.
Of course, the Diamond Wand can also be used as a purely external clit vibe, in which case it provides strong, kinda-broad stimulation. But it’s so difficult to apply pressure where I want it, because of the bendy shaft.
OMG the Patterns
But back to the Diamond Wand’s patterns…there are eighteen of them. I swear to the dildo deities that there are twelve distinct versions of what I call the “jackhammer” (a fast alternation between on-off-on-off that grates on my nerves). Let’s just say that I don’t like the patterns, because yeah, I hate them. (Well, there is this ONE that I kinda like, but hell if I can locate it in the sea of other options!)
I may have railed against excessive amounts of patterns before, but here we go again: I wish FemmeFunn would get the memo about how most users prefer steady vibration intensities, and decrease the number of choices—or else just add up and down speed control buttons so that the following scenario is less frustrating.
OK, so let’s imagine I’ve been on steady speed #2 for a while and want to go for speed #3, the strongest. But once I get there, I find it’s more intense than I wanted, or at some point later I want to edge a bit, or maybe I just like alternating back and forth between the two in my own time. In any of these cases, I have to hit the control button twenty separate times to reduce the speed one single level. Aaarghhh.
The moral of the story is: you better be really fucking sure you’re ready for the next speed, because there’s no going back without losing your rhythm!
Note: FemmeFunn has cut down on this problem with their new Ultra Wand, a favorite of mine. It has only 7 patterns and, happily, no memory function, so you can just turn it off and start from the lowest speed quickly.
Overall Thoughts
The FemmeFunn Diamond Wand has a few selling points, don’t get me wrong: it’s strong, and the silky-smooth silicone feels great on my skin.
But, but, but… the Diamond Wand’s higher speeds especially have a distinct buzz to them. And most of all, I hate the large number of patterns. Really, the Diamond Wand is a toy that it’s easiest to stick to one speed with—and how limiting is that?
Or, ya know, just pick up a quality bullet, FemmeFunn’s quite-good wand vibe, or a better G-spot vibe instead.
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