Review: Uberrime Night King Handmade Fantasy Dildo

The Night King dildo by Uberrime has a name that’s sexy AF. It sounds so dark, and mysterious, and powerful. An obvious reference to the undead Game of Thrones villain, the Night King dildo has a stunning marbled color scheme that makes me imagine ice, darkness, and the character’s very blue, piercing eyes.Uberrime Night King Game of Thrones fantasy dildo full length

I may have a bit of a thing for dragon-shaped dildos, but not so much for zombie-themed ones.1 Luckily for me, the Night King isn’t gory at all, but instead is gorgeous to look at.

The Night King sculpt begins with a phallic head, moves on to a double coronal ridge, and then segues into a looooong shaft. The dildo is thicker than average (around 1.7″ max. diameter in the head, down to 1.8″ right above the base), but the dimension that really pops out is its length: 9″ total length, over 8″ of which is insertable. This makes the Night King’s ridged shaft quite flexible, even in what I call “fantasy toy firm” silicone, a 10A shore.Uberrime Night King Fantasy Dildo full length on white full

And really, it’s all these swirling ridges that make the Night King classifiable as a “fantasy” dildo (despite its realistic head). I honestly wouldn’t recommend this toy to people who aren’t sure whether they like texture, because the raised lines are intense. I would compare learning to like textured dildos to learning to enjoy darker wines (links go to dildo metaphors): you might need to start with the white zinfandel first and then move onto a sparkling Italian white wine, and eventually maybe you’ll find you enjoy a strong Bordeaux. Or, who knows, maybe you’re just a natural lover of more intense flavors, in which case the Night King awaits you like a smooth Pinot Noir.

It’s almost ironic for me to describe the Night King as “smooth” at first glance. But the top four inches of the dildo aren’t so much. They’re not slick, that’s for sure, but they’re not dragon-dildo-textured either. The double-ridged head is quite stimulating for my G-spot, but it doesn’t pack a punch like a very firm toy would. (For more on Uberrime’s silicone in this density, check out my Essential Gent review.)Uberrime Night King upper half

But then I get down to the middle of the Night King’s shaft, and the texture really begins. After that, the ridging is erratic, asymmetrical. It’s pretty wild, and occasionally—depending on my mood—it can be either intensely satisfying or a bit frustrating.

All in all, I crave the ribbed quality of the Night King’s lower shaft when I’m looking for stimulation overload. Combine all those ridges with the Night King’s long length and medium-soft silicone, and the dildo wraps around to put pressure everywhere. Using the Night King is most awesome when I bury the two-crowned head way back and really wrap it around my vulva. This way, I get the most out of the horizontal ridges in the lower shaft: they feel great popping in and out of the mouth of my vag, and then they massage all the way forward, up to the very sensitive underside of my clit. I would definitely recommend this dildo to vulva owners who like rubbing against textured surfaces.

Uberrime Night King fantasy dildo back side full length full

Back view: it’s easiest to see the evenly spaced horizontal ridges this way.

The one slightly frustrating part about the Night King’s texture is that I need to twist the toy 45º sideways either way to get the most out of the lower ridges. On both the right and left sides of the shaft, the lines become more consistent, more purely horizontal, versus the randomness down the front. People who like more focused G-spot stimulation may find this to be a downside, as you really can’t get the full impact of the Night King’s coronal ridge when it’s turned like this. But I’ve found that I enjoy twisting the Night King as I thrust. My orgasms are deep and intense with the toy, because I do love a good grinding dildo.

Finally, the Night King’s long length means that I have a lot of extra toy to hold on to. I think this is ideal for people who have reach issues or shorter arms, because there aren’t many dildos with handles. But, gripping the base sometimes turns into a two-handed job, because of how flared the bottom of the toys is. This means that the Night King doesn’t consistently flop over like a similarly-sized, realistic fave of mine, the Tantus Uncut #1 (review here), which needs another dildo to prop it up. The massively flared base also makes this lengthy dildo more stable in a harness: here I am wearing it in the SpareParts Joque harness.

And, speaking of the Night King’s base, check out this swirl:Uberrime Night King Fantasy Dildo base bottom

Overall Thoughts

Uberrime’s Night King is hugely fun. It’s really an interesting hybrid between “realistic” and “fantasy” with its humanoid head but loads of shaft texture. For me, it’s the best of both worlds. And I can’t describe how much I like the marbled coloration of the silicone, which turns out a bit different with every hand-poured Night King.

That said, the asymmetrical ridges may make the Night King challenging, or even uncomfortable, if you don’t have prior experience with textured dildos—or if you’re just sensitive. Even in this semi-soft silicone, the Night King’s texture means I can feel every bump, especially with faster motions like thrusting and riding. Nothing between my cervix and my pubic mound goes unstimulated with this dildo! It’s not an everyday toy, but when I am craving ridges galore, the Night King summons me.

Run away from this icy villain or embrace winter with open arms—it’s your call. 😉 The Night King is now available here at Peepshow Toys, where you can save 10% by entering code FELICITY at checkout.

My thanks to Uberrime for sending me this toy in exchange for my honest review. I always tell my readers when something does not work for me or when I think it’s badly designed. If you want to support my writing, you can make your next sex toy purchase—whatever it is—by clicking through my affiliate links and then buying. (Doing so costs you absolutely nothing: in many cases, you’ll even save money by using my discount codes.)

  1. For example, I turned down a Frank’s Monster, a two-layered horror dildo by Lust Arts, because the dead-flesh look squicks me out.

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