I had high hopes for the Pleasure Works Cadet Vibrating, an average-sized, semirealistic dildo that’s part of Pleasure Works’ Firm Core (dual-density) line.1 You see, for the last year, I’ve been on a quest to find the perfect dual-density toy for G-spotting masturbation: the toy to end all realistic toys, if you will. For me and my vagina, this means a dildo that fits all the following criteria:
- Is soft but not too soft
- Has a forward curve or the ability to bend forward (but see #1)
- Has a noteworthy coronal ridge
- Includes a kick-ass suction cup (preferably)
Yeah, I’m a perfectionist. It’s really no surprise that the Cadet Vibrating didn’t meet my expectations: I’ve already dismissed the VixSkin Maverick, the Blush Novelties Real Nude Sumo, and (to some extent) the Tantus Alan for failing at one or more of items 1–3. And, though I love the Tantus Uncut #1, sometimes I have to pull out a smelly double-sided suction cup to stick onto it.2
Enter the Cadet Vibrating, I thought. It has a forward bent, a coronal ridge that protrudes an average amount, plus a bullet hole that I thought would allow it to hook up with a Tantus suction cup for hands-free fun. But, sadly for my vag, looks can be deceiving. So what went wrong?
My Suction Cup Theory Falls Flat
It’s a simple equation: dildo with bullet hole + Tantus suction cup = awesome hands-free fucking! But the Cadet Vibrating’s bullet hole introduced a variable into the equation that changed my expected result: the Cadet’s hole isn’t uniformly wide (it expands a lot toward the dildo’s base). The hole is intended for the slightly-larger-than-average bullet vibe that comes with the toy, of course, and wow does that vibe really stick into the dildo: it actually creates a vacuum. Check out Perineum Plunders’ description of his bullet-removing struggle for a laugh. I poured lube all the way down the hole but struggled to remove it when I was done. Apparently (I’ve since been informed) this isn’t the way to go: you’re supposed to dust the vibe with cornstarch before inserting. Anyway, in contrast to the included bullet’s tight fit, the We-Vibe Tango feels a bit loose in the hole because it narrows toward the tip.
But back to my main point, suction cup failure: The Tantus suction cup will certainly stick into the hole, and will even lock into place, but the extra-wide opening at the dildo’s base doesn’t provide enough stability for the toy to function well when you’re screwing it against a wall. It flops up and down, back and forth. On a horizontal surface, in contrast, the setup works OK, but still not excellently.
Now, it’s totally unfair of me to judge the Cadet Vibrating based on a feature that it wasn’t designed to have: a suction cup. So how does it work otherwise?
Bendy and Soft
The heading pretty much says it all: the Cadet is soft and bends a lot. In fact, the Cadet is the most flexible dual-density toy I’ve yet laid my hands on. Actually, as far as its firmness is concerned, the toy feels reasonably penis-like3 in hand, besides the fact that its shaft is much smoother (and stickier) than skin.
One night, after a couple weeks of having Mr. Cadet in my house, I whipped him out to use right after PIV, for comparison purposes. And this is my main problem with the Cadet Vibrating: it doesn’t provide the amount of G-spot pressure that an average cock does. The toy feels too light, and a bit too soft, to create effective orgasms for me. Your mileage may very well vary, as I find softer densities of silicone unsatisfying.4
The best thing about the Cadet Vibrating, in my genitals’ opinion, is the glans, because of the cut-like lines in the head. I appreciate this small amount of texture in contrast with the rest of the toy, which is incredibly smooth and slick.5 Part of my problem here may be that I’ve fallen in love with heavily textured toys lately, like the Rivetor (my review here).
The outer layer of silicone is extremely sticky to the touch, more so than any other dual-density toy I’ve felt. Interestingly, though, when I give it a nice drizzle of lube, the shaft feels almost like it has a gloss finish: it’s so smooth, and it glides along with very little friction. As someone who prefers draggier matte-finish toys, I also found this quality disappointing.
My review may have seemed like one complaint after another about the Cadet Vibrating, but I really do believe it’s a high-quality toy—just one that happens to be the exact opposite of my personal preferences. (Remember, I’m one of about three toy users on planet Earth who aren’t big fans of VixSkin!) I definitely would recommend the Cadet Vibrating to anyone who likes their dildos to be soft (but not floppy), smooth, and average-sized, especially if the person is looking for a vibrating dildo.
I’d like to thank Good Vibrations for sending me this toy in exchange for my honest (and sadly, critical) review!
- See my Dildo Firmnesses Guide for more info about single-density and dual-density toys.
- Jump to the very end of my Suction Cup Solutions post to see what I’m talking about.
- I’ve yet to encounter a toy that does actually feel like a penis, though I’ve never tested any packing dildos or the RealDoll RealCock. I’ve heard the claim that VixSkin feels very cock-like under fabric, but I disagree.
- For example, I hate toys made from 00-30-shore silicone, or Bad Dragon’s soft/Damn Average’s super soft. 00-50, which is slightly harder, is also a bit squishy for me to really, really enjoy even though it’s an extremely popular firmness.
- Yeah, there are those few veiny lines, but it’s the rare person who would get much stimulation out of those.