The Infinite Thrusting Sex Machine by Evolved Novelties has a name that promises the universe. *Infinite* thrusting, you say? It sounds…either mind-blowing or incredibly painful.
I now have an empty house and something called the “Infinite Thrusting Sex Machine” so…you can guess where this is going.
WILL I DIE of the *infinite* orgasmic potential here??? 🤪 Full report coming in a few weeks! pic.twitter.com/79n776jM34
— Felicity (@PhallophileRev) June 12, 2018
Obviously, the toy’s name is just marketing, but my hopes were high for the Infinite Thrusting Sex Machine. I’m all over self-propelled thrusting gizmos—toys that do the work of penetration for me. I’ve fallen head over heels for both the Stronic pulsators and the Velvet Thrusters this year, after all. Could the Infinite Thrusting Machine possibly measure up to these thrusting greats?
The Infinite Thrusting Sex Machine (ITSM, for short) has a 6″ long shaft, and it maxes out at 1.5″ diameter, so average dildo/penis width. The ITSM has a very firm core, with a thin layer of silky-smooth purple silicone on top. Under that is a chrome-plated band, followed by accordion-like bands of silicone that stretch out when the toy thrusts—it boasts 3.5″ of thrust length.
Overall, the ITSM is long: 15.375″ fully extended, or 11.75″ when all those accordion ribs are closed up. The silicone coating and ABS plastic handle are of course totally body-safe and can be sanitized by being wiped down with 10% bleach solution or rubbing alcohol. There are two small air holes in the silicone ribbing, to allow air to vent as the shaft extends and retracts. I’ve had no problem washing the ITSM’s insertable section with soap and water in my sink, but I wouldn’t recommend soaking the entire toy in bleach solution or alcohol. This would allow liquid to get inside and ruin the mechanical parts.
The ITSM is USB rechargeable, like pretty much all luxury toys these days, and the run time is anywhere from 60 to 100 minutes depending on how fast it’s going. The toy’s handle has a very ergonomic shape, so that it’s easy to hold—as easy as gripping a 15″ sex toy can possibly be, that is!
The Infinite Thrusting Sex Machine packs a punch, that’s for sure—it starts fast. I usually like to start my penetration with slow, teasing wiggles. But the ITSM’s first speed is already moving at about a stroke per second. “Warm-up??? What’s that?” I find myself imagining a sentient version of this thruster saying.
Of course the second speed is even faster, and the third just slightly faster than that. Overall I counted 78 strokes per minute on the ITSM’s highest steady thrusting pattern. Once I am fully turned on, I do like to go fast in the end, and the third speed meets my needs most of the time.
I was glad to learn that the ITSM’s thrusting rhythms and vibration settings are independently adjustable. That means you can use this toy as a thruster without vibration, or as a vibrator without thrusting. (Though I’m not sure I’d recommend the latter; more on that next.) Internal vibrators often don’t do a lot for me; I even find them irritating in many cases. When testing the ITSM, I usually start with simple thrusting, and then I add in the lowest vibration setting once I’m really aroused.
For me the lowest steady vibe setting is best because it’s the most rumbly. Combined the rubbing motion of as the shaft thrusts in and out, that first speed’s vibes are super stimulating. I’d give about a 6 out of 10 on my buzzy/rumbly scale, where 1 is super buzzy and 10 is the über-rumbly We-Vibe Tango. The second steady, though, is infused with more buzz, and the third steady setting is the worst. It grates on my vagina’s nerves.
I do think this is the biggest complaint that most users will have: the ITSM’s vibration strengths move from “powerful kinda buzzy” to “holy fuck, it’s like my electric toothbrush on speed” buzzy. Even as a fan of kinda buzzy vibes, I can’t take the Infinite Thrusting Machine’s higher settings. Check out the thrusting plus vibration settings here (video includes audio):
And as for the patterned settings, I typically leave those alone, because the thrusting is rhythmic enough by itself. But I’d describe the first pattern as oscillating, the second pattern is as a slow variant of the “jackhammer” (on-off-on-off, etc.), and the third is as a fast jackhammer—ACK. Finally, the fourth is medium-paced jackhammer pattern, pulsated with a lingering buzz for a second and a half. So I may not be a fan, but it is possible that other users will enjoy the patterns more than me.
Though I’m not sold on the patterns, my biggest personal pet peeve about the Infinite Thrusting Sex Machine is its firmness. The ITSM’s shaft feels just like your average insertable vibrator: unyieldingly hard, but with a silky smooth silicone finish. If you’re like me and you’re interested in self-thrusting toys because you like the feel of a penis moving in and out of your body, then you too may be disappointed by the ITSM’s hardness. This isn’t to say that other body-safe thrusters feel 100% realistic; they’re all firmer than a cock because of their hard mechanical cores. But the Fun Factory Stronics and the Velvet Thrusters do have some softness in the outer layer of silicone, whereas the ITSM has none. Its silicone coating is way too thin to be at all squishy or lifelike. (Check out my guide to thrusting dildos and other self-propelled sex toys for more details about all these toys.)
Plus the ITSM’s silicone finish produces very little drag. I can see why this slick matte finish would be appealing to many folks. With lube, it glides so easily, so there’s no friction or discomfort even on the highest thrusting speed.1
Unfortunately, I’m one of those people who likes a bit of dragginess with their thrusts, for a more realistic effect. The smoothness of the ITSM’s silicone feels less stimulating to me. Combine that with the subtlety of the head, and it’s like being screwed by a plain rod. I’m just the wrong person for smooth and slick toys. I find myself wishing that the ITSM had something like a coronal ridge that could catch on my G-spot.
True, there is a slight bump outward in the center. It’s so small as to be mostly unnoticeable—and I’m speaking as someone who loves the subtle texture of the Blush Avant D5’s head ridge. And as for the ITSM’s two ridges below the “head”? They’re impossible to feel on even the lowest thrusting setting; the movements just start out too fast for that. As someone who likes texture, this makes me sad.
Versus the Velvet Thrusters
IMO, the hottest thrusting toys on the market right now are the Velvet Cock Thrusters (my full thoughts here), so I have to compare those to the Evolved Infinite Thrusting Sex Machine. I was a bit confused that the ITSM doesn’t include thrusts per minute in the product description, but, as mentioned, I’ve done my best to count: the ITSM comes out at about 60 thrusts per minute on the first speed, and 78 thrusts per minute on the third and highest.
This means that the ITSM’s first speed is roughly equivalent to the Velvet Thrusters’ third, the ITSM’s second is like the Velvet Thrusters’ fifth, and the ITSM’s highest speed is close to the Velvet Thrusters’ sixth (out of ten) speeds. So the ITSM doesn’t go nearly as fast, nor does it start as slow. In fact, there’s very little difference between the ITSM’s second and third speeds—it’s not a big power boost.
The stroke length is very similar, though; the ITSM may have half an inch more. The ITSM also seems to have a bit less torque, which means it’s more likely to get hung up against the resistance of my pubic bone inside my vag. I have to be more careful with the angle if I want the Infinite Thruster’s full thrusting potential.
A lot of this difference is the ITSM’s aforementioned firmness. The shaft (especially the upper shaft) just isn’t as flexible. But I can see the ITSM being more appealing to people who want a less-realistic design. The smoother silicone finish is also great for those who are averse to feeling friction when they thrust sex toys.
Both toys have a similar loud noise level, so if you want a quiet self-thrusting toy (one you can use when you’re staying with your relatives, for example!), then you may want to invest in a Fun Factory Stronic pulsator instead.
The ITSM does one advantage over the Velvet Thrusters: the former’s handle is much easier to grip. The sleek design makes me feel like I’m holding the handle to a long knife. The Velvets, in contrast, have a bigger motor box. Still, the loooong length of both toys makes masturbation difficult when the user is lying on their back. I like to prop myself up with pillows behind my back so my arms can reach farther down when I’m holding either kind of toy.
I have to admit that the Infinite Thrusting Sex Machine is far from my personal favorite self-thrusting toy. So no, I’m not in fact dying of infinite thrusting potential. It’s just a matter of preference: I’ve been spoiled by more realistically shaped and/or faster thrusters. BUT that’s not to say the Infinite Thrusting Sex Machine’s quality is objectively bad. I would recommend it to people who:
- want a non-phallic thruster with a good stroke length;
- like firmer and/or smoother toys (like most insertable vibes); and
- want some vibration together with their thrusting.
That said, I wish the Infinite Thrusting Sex Machine would start out slower, because the first thrusting speed is already going places. I find myself wanting more speed options. And most of all, if you’re looking for a non-phallic thruster with vibration, then be forewarned that the ITSM’s vibes are not of the rumbly variety. When combined with the thrusting motions, they’re powerful, but they’re also buzzy—especially the higher vibration settings.
If this appeals to you, you can find the Evolved Novelties Infinite Thrusting Sex Machine here at Betty’s Toy Box.
My thanks to Betty’s Toy Box for sending me this thrusting vibe in exchange for my honest review. I always tell my readers when something does not work for me or when I think it’s badly designed. If you want to support my writing, you can make your next sex toy purchase—whatever it is—by clicking through my affiliate links and then buying. (Doing so costs you absolutely nothing: in some cases, you’ll even save money by using my discount codes.)
- Of course, with the water-based lube that’s recommended with silicone toys (I recommend Sliquid Sassy), it’s good to reapply occasionally, maybe every 10 minutes or so.