Doc Johnson Optimale Vibrating Cock Ring Review

Doc Johnson’s Optimale Vibrating Cock Ring is a sex toy that’s trying to pass as a porcupine. Do you see these spines? Do you see them?Doc Johnson Optimale Vibrating Cock Ring

I can only assume that whoever designed the toy (a) has a penis and didn’t stop to think what the spiky protrusions might feel like grating against a vulva; and/or (b) has sadistic tendencies.

I let my husband (we’ll call him “Bob”) pick out this cock ring for testing only because I was planning on us using it for a grand total of three minutes on top of his cock. Then we would flip the ring around and stretch it out so that the vibe would go under Bob’s balls (his favorite way of using a vibrating cock ring). But, to be honest, we only made through about two minutes of testing before I said, “Screw this. I get the idea. Let’s put it under your balls now.”

And Bob responded, “Ugh. Just let me put on the stretchy one instead.”

A Discovery: Firmness Matters in Cock Rings Too!

In the month before this, he’d gotten used to using the stretchy, smooth silicone of the Charged Skooch Cock Ring (review here). In contrast, the Optimale Vibrating Cock Ring is firmer silicone. Most likely because the ring doesn’t stretch quite as easily, the Optimale’s inner diameter is larger than the Skooch’s, so that the fit isn’t as snug on Bob’s average-sized member. It doesn’t move up and down during use, though it jiggles a little. Also, the series of rings around the main cock ring create small gaps, so that the ring seems less tight overall.

The main reason I started my review blog was to spread information about silicone dildo firmness, but I hadn’t really considered cock ring firmness before testing the Optimale. It turns out that Bob’s ring preference is much like my dildo preference: he likes the softer side.1 The Optimale’s silicone isn’t the hardest—the ring will stretch quite a bit—but when you add in the textured rings and nubs…

Texture: Too Much Is Too Much

Even if we ignore the porcupine-esque spikes covering the vibe hole, the main cock ring still includes all those rings around it. Bob doesn’t hate these rings, but he’s not a fan of them either; they just don’t do much for him, and they decrease the feeling of tightness.

Doc Johnson Optimale Vibrating Cock Ring Texture

There’s just too much going on here.

But back to the nubbly texture of the vibe ring…I really can’t put into words what a bad idea this is. And I like texture—a lot. Too much is too much, though, and there’s no way that I can enjoy these little pokey nubs. They’re just too hard for me. Ouch!

When we did finally get around to stretching the Optimale Vibrating around his balls, Bob wasn’t enthusiastic about the spikes either. He says it feels like a Brillo Pad resting underneath his scrotum.

Bad Vibrations

By our second trial, we weren’t even using the Optimale’s included vibe because it’s inferior. (I really have nothing good to say in this review, do I? And I usually try to look for the silver lining with sex toys that don’t work how I’d hoped they would…)

Doc Johnson Optimale Vibrating Cock Ring Screaming O Charged Vooom Bullet

We switched to this Charged Vooom bullet almost immediately.

I’ve had mediocre vibes before, like this so-so ScreamingO vibe and Tantus’ silver bullet,2 and I could get off on them. This Doc J. vibe, though, isn’t worth the effort. Though in general I much prefer sex toys to my own fingers, I might as well use my fingers to cum, because the Optimale vibe seriously frustrates me. And as for Bob, he’d rather watch water come to a boil than use the vibe on his nether regions.

A final sad note to this tale of woe is that the batteries included with the vibe died almost immediately—like, they didn’t even last an hour. Now, my vibrator experience is limited in comparison with my dildo experience, but this has never happened to me with vibrator batteries, even before I knew about body-safe toys and I bought some cheap, ridgy insertable vibe off Amazon. After the failure, I tossed the batteries onto a shelf in our closet, only to discover a week later than they’d literally fallen apart. Split right down the middle!Doc Johnson Optimale Vibrating Cock Ring Bullet Vibe Battery Failed

TL;DR: Too Textured, Too Hard

If you’re looking for fun sexy times, do yourself a favor: don’t buy the Doc Johnson Optimale Vibrating Cock Ring. Instead, check out a Tantus Super Soft Vibrating C-Ring or my partner’s all-time favorite vibrating ring, Screaming O’s Charged Skooch,3 which includes a quality bullet vibe. If you don’t want or need vibration, I have seen positive reviews of Doc Johnson’s Optimale Cock Rings 3-Pack, which lets you choose the tightness you need and/or work toward using a narrower (and, thankfully, untextured) ring.

But hey, if you think that you and your partner would like the Optimale Vibrating Cock Ring’s porcupine-like ridges, then far be it from me to stop you from buying one! As always, save 10% on this or anything else at Peepshow Toys with code FELICITY.

I have to thank Peepshow Toys for sending me this cock ring in exchange for my honest review—even though we didn’t like the ring, I still got some laughs out of writing about it!

  1. Mainly because he always wants to finish with the ring stretched out underneath his balls.
  2. Tantus’ bullet isn’t horrible, it’s just that the second setting, though it’s a good power for me, is too buzzy (not rumbly).
  3. I have to recommend the Charged Skooch as a quality product even though I’m not a fan of Screaming O’s company ethics; see that review for details.

About

Editor, writer, introvert, hedonist, and lover of all the finer things in life—including lots of high-quality sex toys.

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